Sure, many of us hope to attract the most desirable ladies in the land, or eventually settle down with a princess. And we’re not looking for just any women, either. No, sir, we picture ourselves attracting the most unforgettable, classy, witty, fun, and downright gorgeous women…
But what many men don’t get is that this is a two-way street.
Women are also looking for stable, successful men, and ones that can capably support their own lives. I’m not even talking about materialism here – in fact, it goes much deeper than that.
Remember, women want to attract high-status males, which are essentially men who are interesting, dominant, confident, and very capable. Being unable to cover the next round of drinks, take a drive to the beach for the day, or even buy a dozen roses, because you were just charged $40 for an overdraft fee doesn’t exactly display those qualities.
It’s Not Always about Money, but It’s Sometimes a Good Indicator
In fact, if you’re dealing with constant money problems, it says the opposite about you. Of course, this is just a general principle, and it is true that you might be dealing with financially rough times because of, well, just about anything. Family problems, legal entanglements, or any one of a hundred other rough patches that we all face at one time or another. This is entirely understandable, and these are usually temporary setbacks.
The other possibility is that you might have committed your life to a line of work or lifestyle that isn’t rewarded by financial stability. If you’re stuck eating Ramen and PB&Js because you took five years out of your life to save the whales or feed impoverished children in Zimbabwe, then this could actually increase your level of attractiveness and status. Conviction and courage are very sexy qualities that many women can identify with.
However, when you are plagued with habitual and self-inflicted financial problems – you can’t seem to keep your credit score in check, you’re drowning in consumer debt, or you’re constantly borrowing $5 from your buddies during happy hour – it makes you appear incapable of balancing your own life.
And that isn’t very attractive to a potential mate, to say the least.
Statistically, Your Big Nest Egg Makes You Sexier
Recently, Wired.com published a fantastic piece on what aspects of an online dating profile statistically get more replies to initial messages. Essentially, they were able to compile a list of buzzwords that happened to perform the best.
In terms of male profiles, most of these buzzwords had to do with adventure and travel, such as “London” and “passports.”
However, there were two on the list that really caught my attention: “retirement” and “mornings.”
It’s obvious why the word “retirement” is on there, as it would indicate that the man is a forward thinker, plans for the future, and is concerned about financial stability and security.
The word “mornings” is one that I also found to be interesting: it could show that the man is a responsible and driven individual.
How many 22-year-old partiers or couch potatoes are up before 11AM, right?
Even so, if you’re broke, you can’t exactly experience a great deal of adventure or travel anywhere requiring a passport in the first place. So, basically, you’ve sabotaged your ability to be fun and interesting by being unable to afford the finer things in life.
Why Thrifty Is the New Sexy
MSN Money also published an eye-opening study, showing that when the choice comes down to a person who is a spender and someone who is a saver, the sexy award always goes to the saver. The article from 2013 discussed these findings from Jenny Olson, Ph.D., which linked savers with being overwhelmingly more attractive.
Curiously, the study didn’t conclude that materialism was the driving factor here. Instead, the most basic reason why savers are more attractive is because it displays self-control. This applies to both men and women alike.
So apparently, it’s not a “man thing” – it’s a “human thing.”
The attractiveness of financial stability boils down to the most biologically basic of mammal reproductive instincts, and in a way, it has undertones of natural selection. To put it lightly, males that struggle to survive on their own won’t be effective in providing for offspring, thus threatening the survival of the species as a whole.
Females instinctively know this, which is why males that lack dominance and confidence just won’t receive female attention. These instincts have been hardwired into human nature, and you can easily see evidence of this in the higher desirability of responsible, resourceful savers.
Back to Reality
Nevertheless, on a more common-sense, real-world level…
If attractive women can select a partner from a pool of 100 guys, why would she willingly pick one that’s constantly struggling with financial problems? It just doesn’t make logical sense.
The guy that will get picked in the end will be the one who isn’t going to be dead weight on the budget and cause all matters of financial headaches. He’ll be the one that has her back, not to mention the ability to be a better, more productive partner in the long run. Too many guys want to find the perfect woman, yet haven’t considered what they are currently able to bring to the table.
A princess wants a prince who can afford his own castle. She’s only selling herself short if she chooses a prince whose castle sits in foreclosure while he throws another kegger.