I have been online dating off and on for two years and to be perfectly honest, I am not embarrassed to say it. I don’t know why this method comes with such a negative stigma but in today’s world, it just makes sense to me. I am 33 years old, I consider myself to be a high quality catch and just because I am online trying to meet a guy, doesn’t mean that I am desperate or willing to settle. I live in the same small town since the age of 4 and it’s a great way for me to possibly meet someone that I wouldn’t necessarily cross paths with otherwise.
With this being said, let me just tell you that the challenge of finding somebody online has been the pits! I will always choose being alone then being in the company of somebody I do not respect, enjoy or am embarrassed by.
And with that being said, I cannot wrap my head around why the guys I have been interacting with online are so clueless on how to succeed at online dating.
So I would like to suggest some tips to help guys really shine and attract a special girl who are online dating. Here they are.
1) First out of the gate is your profile or username.
Girls typically aren’t sports nuts like most guys so it doesn’t attract females when you advertise your favorite sports team. If you name yourself YankeeLuver or MetsAllDay, that might be a turnoff to a girl who will spot that sports are a high priority in your world.
The name you use doesn’t need to be mind-blowing or brainstormed for hours but it shouldn’t seem obnoxious and boisterous, such as SteveHustla or SwaggerJay. Try to use some words that women will be attracted to like sweet, strong, patient, animal lover or maybe the color of your eyes. If not, then just use your name.
2) The second focus, but the first to be noticed, is your photo.
Some of the pictures I see are sooo crazy. There will be a guy where all his photos have other people in them and I will have no idea which one he is. What is it, a Who’s Waldo? If it is, next profile.
Then there will be pictures of a guy wearing a slobbish shirt, looking out of shape and unkept. Why would anybody use an image like that to advertise themselves? Essentially that is what online dating is. It is all self promotion to advertise your goods.
Also, I personally think its unattractive to see the guy have pictures with other girls in them. Maybe its competitive by nature but I get turned off when I see girls, doesn’t matter if they are pretty or ugly, all up on the guy I am considering doing the same to.
Smiling is one of the most important attributes I look for. If there aren’t any pictures where you are smiling in them, that is a major warning to me that I do not want to spend 1 minute with that person.
3) Then comes the profile.
By all means, write what you’d like and how you want to write it.
Self expression is important and authenticity is key. I don’t think I need to touch on what girls look for in a man’s profile, or do I?
There should be something that gives off the idea of stability, responsibility, loving (since this is the ultimate goal) and that you like to have fun. If there isn’t much effort in your write up well then I am going to think you are not serious about finding somebody. And maybe you aren’t and thats cool. Everybody has their reason for dating online but I’m just saying that if you are genuinely searching for a quality girl, then they are going to be looking for some effort.
4) After you start emailing each other, once you get her number, the polite and right thing to do is to CALL her.
No, this doesn’t mean text her.
It is so unnatural to me (yes I realize that the way you are meeting is the definition of unnatural) to get a girl’s number and never hear each other’s voices until the first time you physically meet. There is a lot of information received when you have a real dialogue. And why be nervous? I mean, it’s weird and uncomfortable, but those feelings are being experienced by the both of you. It’s mutual, so just go for it, go with the flow and have fun. There is no reason to be shy, so break the ice over the phone and that will make meeting each other a whole lot more comfortable and enjoyable.
If the phone conversation goes south, well hell, then someone can say they aren’t feeling it and that will save the both of your time and money on going on a date which would have been torture anyway.
I hope some of my advice will help men get more positive outcomes from online dating. I cannot promise that you won’t encounter a crazy or a rude bitch, but these tips will improve on how girls will perceive you.
Remember, online dating is like a self advertisement to introduce yourself to candidates you may otherwise never have the opportunity to meet. Keep in mind that your profile is basically self promotion, be open to the idea that you are meeting a total stranger and keep in mind to just have fun and be positive.
See you on the web.
– Sonnie M.