online dating success tips

online dating success tips

I have been online dating off and on for two years and to be perfectly honest, I am not embarrassed to say it. I don’t know why this method comes with such a negative stigma but in today’s world, it just makes sense to me. I am 33 years old, I consider myself to be a high quality catch and just because I am online trying to meet a guy, doesn’t mean that I am desperate or willing to settle. I live in the same small town since the age of 4 and it’s a great way for me to possibly meet someone that I wouldn’t necessarily cross paths with otherwise.

With this being said, let me just tell you that the challenge of finding somebody online has been the pits! I will always choose being alone then being in the company of somebody I do not respect, enjoy or am embarrassed by.

And with that being said, I cannot wrap my head around why the guys I have been interacting with online are so clueless on how to succeed at online dating.

So I would like to suggest some tips to help guys really shine and attract a special girl who are online dating. Here they are.

1) First out of the gate is your profile or username. 

Girls typically aren’t sports nuts like most guys so it doesn’t attract females when you advertise your favorite sports team. If you name yourself YankeeLuver or MetsAllDay, that might be a turnoff to a girl who will spot that sports are a high priority in your world.

The name you use doesn’t need to be mind-blowing or brainstormed for hours but it shouldn’t seem obnoxious and boisterous, such as SteveHustla or SwaggerJay. Try to use some words that women will be attracted to like sweet, strong, patient, animal lover or maybe the color of your eyes.  If not, then just use your name.

2) The second focus, but the first to be noticed, is your photo. 

Some of the pictures I see are sooo crazy. There will be a guy where all his photos have other people in them and I will have no idea which one he is.  What is it, a Who’s Waldo? If it is, next profile.

Then there will be pictures of a guy wearing a slobbish shirt, looking out of shape and unkept. Why would anybody use an image like that to advertise themselves? Essentially that is what online dating is. It is all self promotion to advertise your goods.

Also, I personally think its unattractive to see the guy have pictures with other girls in them. Maybe its competitive by nature but I get turned off when I see girls, doesn’t matter if they are pretty or ugly, all up on the guy I am considering doing the same to.

Smiling is one of the most important attributes I look for. If there aren’t any pictures where you are smiling in them, that is a major warning to me that I do not want to spend 1 minute with that person.

3) Then comes the profile. 

By all means, write what you’d like and how you want to write it.

Self expression is important and authenticity is key. I don’t think I need to touch on what girls look for in a man’s profile, or do I?

There should be something that gives off the idea of stability, responsibility, loving (since this is the ultimate goal) and that you like to have fun. If there isn’t much effort in your write up well then I am going to think you are not serious about finding somebody. And maybe you aren’t and thats cool.  Everybody has their reason for dating online but I’m just saying that if you are genuinely searching for a quality girl, then they are going to be looking for some effort.

4) After you start emailing each other, once you get her number, the polite and right thing to do is to CALL her. 

No, this doesn’t mean text her.

It is so unnatural to me (yes I realize that the way you are meeting is the definition of unnatural) to get a girl’s number and never hear each other’s voices until the first time you physically meet. There is a lot of information received when you have a real dialogue. And why be nervous?  I mean, it’s  weird and uncomfortable, but those feelings are being experienced by the both of you. It’s mutual, so just go for it, go with the flow and have fun. There is no reason to be shy, so break the ice over the phone and that will make meeting each other a whole lot more comfortable and enjoyable.

If the phone conversation goes south, well hell, then someone can say they aren’t feeling it and that will save the both of your time and money on going on a date which would have been torture anyway.

In conclusion

I hope some of my advice will help men get more positive outcomes from online dating. I cannot promise that you won’t encounter a crazy or a rude bitch, but these tips will improve on how girls will perceive you.

Remember, online dating is like a self advertisement to introduce yourself to candidates you may otherwise never have the opportunity to meet. Keep in mind that your profile is basically self promotion, be open to the idea that you are meeting a total stranger and keep in mind to just have fun and be positive.

See you on the web.

– Sonnie M.

Suggested Reading

Online Dating vs Traditional Dating: Why You Should be Choosing Just One

The 15 Hottest Dating Apps of 2014


  1. I will continue to say this until the cows come home, because it is the absolute truth:

    Women today continue to believe the worst about most guys, and will not give them the time of day.

    After so many years of trying to show the allegedly “fair sex” that I’m a reasonably normal human being, I lost hope and just gave up.

    In this day and age, whether dating is online or in person, it is just a hopeless exercise in futility.

    The defense rests.

    • Mickey,

      I the past two days I have approached 3 girls while living my daily life. I simply walked up, stopped them and said, “Sorry to bother you, but I saw you and had to come over and tell you how attractive you are.” This transitioned into a 5-10 minutes conversation, and then us exchanging information and now getting to know each other and setting up dates/sex/w.e.

      My point is, you are not correct. But what you believe and think comes out in your body language and vibe, and it is what you attract. So as long as you think these silly things you think, they will be your reality.

      Women will give anyone the time of day if they approach them in a sincere, genuine manner. I see it everyday. I am yet to meet one of these man haters you apparently see everywhere in my 25 years of life.

  2. Sean:

    I am twice your age, and here is what I have already seen longer than you’ve been alive:

    When a guy approaches a woman in a sincere, genuine manner, these are some of her typical responses:

    1) She laughs at him

    2) She curses him out

    3) She slaps him

    4) She throws a drink in his face

    5) Sometimes, she sues for sexual harassment

    6) Maybe all of the above

    Congratulations on you ability to approach women. The cold hard truth is, for every guy who can approach women successfully, there is at least one other guy who can’t get out of the dugout, let alone actually get to first base. Why? I submit, you cannot always lay this at the feet of approach anxiety or general lack of confidence. As I mentioned to you once before, one man’s realism can always be another man’s cynicism.

    You may think my so-called mindset is silly, but experience doesn’t lie.

    • I deal with guys who do this for a living and teach all sorts of men to approach women. Nerds, Jocks, Black, White, Fat, Skinny even guys with your attitude. None of these reactions are ever typical from women. Ever.

      If she is not interested she simply thanks him for the compliment and walks away. On to the next girl.

      And of all the videos of guys going up and approaching girls on the web (1000’s – even with rude and ridiculous lines) you won’t find one where a woman acts like this, short of pranksters going up and saying do you want to suck my penis.

  3. I’m sorry Mickey but your attitude just sucks!
    What you put out is what you will receive.
    Your comments are so miserable and negative.
    Miserable people love miserable company. You keep doing what you keep doing, you’re going to keep getting what you are getting.


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