The Top 10 Benefits of Quitting Porn (Updated: 2020)

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What Are The Main Benefits of Quitting Porn?

If you haven’t already, check out our article on “How Porn Addiction Is Holding you back“. We are very passionate about the fact that porn literally ruins a lot of men’s lives in this generation. There are too many reasons to list to stop watching porn, but here are the top ten.

Note: We’re not religious. We don’t judge. We’ve been avid porn fans for most of our lives. But we just know the benefit of living a life without it and want you to experience it too.

Note 2: Not all men have a problem with porn. Some can watch it when they want and lead healthy successful lives and crush it with the ladies. But if it holds you back (with women or in general), even a little, then this is something to think about.

1) The best version of yourself doesn’t watch porn

I know he’s not a real man, but do you think the character James Bond was watching porn in between killing bad guys and slaying gorgeous women?

Do you think George Clooney and Brad Pitt were spending hours streaming porn and fapping in their trailers on the set on Ocean’s 13?

There’s not a chance.

The best version of you is waiting inside you to be expressed, or you can turn to your laptop when you get aroused. Up to you.

But to show you what you are missing out on, let’s get to the second benefit of quitting porn…

2) Porn makes you lazy

Men no longer have to make any attempt at fulfilling their sexuality. It is the worst thing that ever happened to the race. Men used to go out of their way to win the hearts of women they wanted. They used to be romantic and bold. Now they just stay home and spend countless hours jerking off to internet porn instead.

3) Porn strips you of your desire for improvement

There is no reason to go to the gym. There is no reason to do your hair and make yourself look good. Porn will never reject you no matter how you look, and regardless of how much money you make. When there is no primal need to impress the opposite sex in order to fill man’s instinctive need for lust, men let themselves go and lurk their house in their underwear.

4) Porn causes insecurity

Porn sets unrealistic standards for men. To be in porn men must have abnormally large “talent.” Men who watch porn consistently grow to see that as the norm and themselves as inadequate.

It’s a slippery slope because this insecurity keeps men from having sex with women, in turn driving them deeper into porn use.

5) Many men find porn more stimulating than sex

Porn is now so fantastically HD, with every sexual fantasy imaginable at the click of a mouse. The pleasure of watching porn is starting to overtake the pleasure of actual sex if it hasn’t already done so.

Men searching hundreds of fetishes and videos in the matter of an hour now find sex with a woman of the standard they can get (because of the porn) boring, and unpleasurable.

This is a very dangerous line, as seen in the examples below:

I could link to 100 + examples easy of just men who write about it online.

If this sounds like you, then you really need to sort yourself out. Get on the forums, there are many people who have been through the same thing who can help you along the way.

6) Porn causes Erectile Dysfunction (ED)

Because of reasons 4 and 5, porn causes erectile dysfunction in an enormous amount of men. Porn becomes the only thing that can stimulate them because of the intense visual experience it offers the brain. This experience is unnatural, and real sex becomes bland and un-stimulating.

The experience of porn is so unnatural, that it actually causes the brain to release unnatural amounts of Dopamine, the reward chemical.

The brain becomes so accustomed to this unnatural level of dopamine that without porn you cannot achieve an erection and you straight feel like crap.

It is a proven fact that porn affects the brain the exact same way as other addictive drugs.

Supporting material:

7) You will find women more attractive

I think the greatest gift of living a porn-free life is how you start to perceive women around you. After months of no porn, your attraction to women will go through the roof. It is truly remarkable.

  • Just the sight of a woman’s skin will turn you on

Being free of porn you start to really appreciate the beauty of women. Just the sight of a woman’s skin or her smell will be enough to throw your attraction into overdrive. Your sexual instincts will be back where they are supposed to be, and you will crave women like never before.

  • You will start to notice women you once found unattractive

Women that once were not up to your porn standards really start to pop out at you. You will start to see the beauty in women that you once overlooked because they did not have the bodies of porn stars.

I find myself more and more surprised at some of the women I find attractive and for what reasons. It is really a beautiful thing.

8) You will be better with women

This should be reason enough for anyone to stop watching internet porn. I promise you that after months of no porn, and even better, no masturbation, you will be better with women (out of necessity!). And not just a little better, but a lot better.

Have you ever gotten that incredible sexual urge that comes out of nowhere? To a regular porn viewer to the first thing they do is head to the internet. To men who don’t watch porn, the first thing they do is head to their cell phone to call a real girl. Or they go out and meet one.

  • You will find it easier to talk to women

Many men who give up porn find that they start to interact much smoother with women. A lot of their anxiety towards the opposite sex fades and they start to feel more confident and smooth.

9) Sex will be more satisfying

Instead of having erectile dysfunction and not finding sex as satisfying as porn, you will be the opposite. After months without porn in your life, your pleasure for sex will skyrocket.

  • You will have better, harder erections with women

Without porn numbing your sexual stimulation, just the touch of a woman will be enough to get you up and going. Actual sex will feel so different than it ever did. So much more powerful and pleasurable.

  • Your intimacy levels during sex will be something that you never experienced before

If you are like most men who started porn at an extremely young age, you have probably never even experienced intense intimacy. You have sexually numbed yourself from porn for years. Your first sexual experience free from porn will be like a sexual awakening.

You will also be much better at sex itself. You will be more in touch with a woman’s body, and your own. You won’t have any performance anxiety issues and your sexual freedom and spirituality will increase.

Sex can be the greatest experience there is, you just need to lose the porn. I would quit porn just for this benefit alone!

10) You will simply be a better version of yourself

Its a fact that if you can give up porn you will be a better version of yourself.

  • You will think clearer and be less stressed
  • You will find women more attractive
  • You will be better with women
  • Your sex life will improve
  • You will have more energy

Try it. If it doesn’t work, porn will be waiting for you right where you left it.

Conclusion: There are so many ways you will improve by just dropping one thing out of your life it’s incredible. It seems so obvious and crazy that not everybody does it.

But porn is so addicting and drawing which is why most men will never quit.

But you can.

You can have an advantage over millions of men in the world.

You can have a better life.

PS. There are many more benefits of quitting porn and masturbation.


Additional Notes:

  1. Masturbation is not the culprit being covered in this article, and it is a natural thing.However that being said, there is scientific evidence showing that it has negative consequences on your brain’s biochemistry, and its effects differ from having regular sex. So in short, just opt for sex.

    (See Marc Summers article: 33 Reasons to Stop Masturbating and our article 11 Reasons to Stop Masturbating).

  2. Millions of men are starting to realize how much porn has messed up their lives. We have women emailing us every week about the fact that they have to leave their boyfriends or husbands because of it.If you are in the generation that missed hardcore internet porn growing up, you’re lucky. But kids are growing up on more and more intense porn from the age of ten.

    If you have kids, do what you can to educate your kids, and shape them into solid, confident men.


Additional Resources:
Below are some great sites that will help you kick the porn addiction and help you realize just how powerful it is. Check them out if this article has inspired change in your life.

  1. YourBrainOnPorn.com
  2. FightTheNewDrug.org
  3. How to Stop Watching Porn: My Personal Journey

I hope this helped you. If so, let us know below and share this on Facebook. And for updates on more life-improving articles subscribe to our mailing list below.

If you truly want to quit porn for good, check out our life-changing program below.

Sean Russell

Sean Russell

Sean is a true entrepreneur. After turning his life around after struggling with anxiety and chronic fatigue syndrome he now dedicates his life to being his best self and helping others do the same. Learn more about him and his projects at SeanRussell.me

This Post Has 0 Comments

  1. Sean Russell

    Couldn’t have said it better myself mike.
    Keep it up man I am almost 6 months free and its just keep getting better!
    – Keep in touch

    1. unknown88

      hi,
      so my progress is like this,
      i go to porntube maybe twice a week, and then look and think this shit is ugly im going to watch hentai, cant find any interesting.
      the point is the search for something interesting takes a lot longer for me now a days and i keep seeing pictures i actually dont want to see.
      It doesnt affect me in real life, but the pictures i do t want to see argggg

      1. Sean Russell

        Hey man if you don’t want to see them then don’t look! I know that’s easier said than done but it’s a good first step!

  2. Dirk Diggler

    Wow, the author of this and the posters of the 2 comments above are delusional as fuck. “I also think it comes out of your skin and other people not just females can pickup on it.” -_-

    1. Sean Russell

      Haha, w.e man keep jerking off huddled over your computer. I’m not gonna lose sleep over it..

    2. good person

      This article is so poorly written and completely off. I would like to point out that reason number one is about “real men” and then continues to list off the lives of fictional characters playing overly masculinized roles. If the OP looks up to these action stars as a model for living real life then OP has a long way to go before reaching adulthood and the true world.
      If you are a person that cannot differentiate acting in a film from the way real life occurs then you have a great deal of work you need to your internal self. I’ve watched porn and masturbated on a regular basis and I have no problem meeting women, appreciating them, being loved by them and making love to them. I’ve had an extreme success dating women and my love life is fantastic. Some of the woman I date openly talk to me about watching porn themselves. Porn is nothing but visual stimulation and if you sacrifice other areas of your life for that, it’s your decision.

      1. Sean Russell

        Man, I do not mind your opinion at all. Everyone is different I am glad porn doesn’t affect you harshly. But that last sentence is a dagger in the heart of all the men who have had their relationships ruined because of porn. It never got to that point for me thank god, and I used to be just like you for years getting plenty of girls in college while watching tons of porn. But the fact is I would have been with twice as much or possibly had a steady girlfriend without it.
        If you want to watch porn, watch porn. I dont care. Of course I could of kept watching porn and had plenty of average sex. But I plan on being great.

        1. do

          Dude it sounds like you have an addiction problem, WHY THE FUCK would you say I slept with plenty of girls in college and could have slept with twice as many. You’re not solving the problem you’re just an extremist going from one extreme to the next. It’s called moderation, and porn used in the right situation is definitely okay. A sexual therapist can tell you how porn can stimulate and increase your sex life with your partner. And UM what do you think they give you when you donate sperm? You want VD, or even better you want an unplanned pregnancy you just got over having difficulties of watching porn and you think you can handle kids? I’m sorry man, but your point is flawed. You’re just an extremest that can’t handle his shit.

          1. Sean Russell

            Haha you guys are crazy. Watch porn if you want I don’t care! This is article is for men who’s porn habit is interfering with their ability to live a great life and have a great sex life. (which is probably in the millions!)
            Its insane how defensive you guys get about porn.

        2. Money

          Marcus G… if you needed porn to teach you how to have sex you’re a retard. In fact many women are starting to complain that men are degrading them through things they see in porn. wise up

        3. ashla

          I am a woman….and let me just say the “porn techniques” for orgasms are not theb best….
          Those women are paid to moan and groan….real woman are not.
          And your comment makes no sense to me…the majority of porn doesnt include near enough foreplay for most women.
          All around my thought is: porn isn’t supposed to be an instructional video, everyone likes different things and thr only way to learn what gets them going is DOING it with a real person.
          Not watching some unrealistic person on a film.

        4. MikeC

          Men have been knocking up women well say since Adam and Eve and I’m not talking about the company that puts out pornographic movies.We have a billion people in India and China to prove it. Now we need porn to help us? I’m on the fucking money. If you need porn to get a woman off maybe you should start communicating a little.

        5. Walt

          I am 61 years old, I was married for 31 years, my wife passed away 7 years ago, at which time I became addicted to porn. I met a beautiful, smart sexy woman and we married 2 years ago. I am deeply in love with her. But, the discovery by her, of my addiction plus me lying about it has destroyed the trust between us. But she still loves me, and has given me the chance to rebuild her trust in me. You guys do what you want but I know first hand what porn can do to a loving relationship. If you are honest with yourself you can understand the dangers of porn addiction. Give it some serious thought.

        6. Kirah

          I’m a women and I have been with men who watched porn and men who didn’t watch porn, and let me just say… Sex was unbelievable great with the men that did not watch porn. Here’s why, the men who watched porn were more concerned about themselves getting off and thought that just by looking at me and rubbing their hands on my skin will turn me on!! What the fuck!!? So there were even times were I just had to tell the guy “hey, all you did was turned me off”.
          While the other guys who didn’t watch porn actually took their time to get to know my body, love my body, play with my body, and at the end I could say that WE were BOTH a whole lot more satisfied.
          Now I have a fiance and I absolutely love him, but when we go have sex I find myself fantasising about the other guys because my fiance is one of the many men that I dated who watched porn and thinks that he can just jam his thing inside me whenever he is ready. And even before having sex him, you can tell whether or not a guy watches porn by the way he treats you.
          In overall I’m at the point of calling of the wedding and leaving him because of his porn situation.

      2. Gnj

        James Bond? Really? Well i agree with goodperson that the article is somewhat poorly written and the author is probably not getting any or is majorly pussy-whipped. Fascinating to see though is how many christians have responded and imediately mixed up porn and masturbation. The others-19 year olds, i assume, want to be just like james bond and score with tons of “chicks”. And while i think the author might actually be unto something with blaming porn for some things, the references to jamesbonds, tarzans and “being smooth” to women have cancelled the good effects of the article for me (maybe because i dont care for other real women but my own, and virtual ones being so available for sexual gratification onky). So, “Laziness” and instant gratification for me still, then, until the other half raises the alarm in which case i will get back to this 🙂

        1. Sean Russell

          Haha, I knew I was gonna get a lot of shit when I put James Bond under “real men” but it hasn’t been too bad.
          I assure you I am not pussywhipped haha. I value your opinion and this article has raised a lot of confusion about my values so I will hop at this chance to clear the air. I am not religious, I am not against masturbation, I am not a loser who “doesn’t get any.”
          I am a guy who literally lives to be the best version that he can be. And I %100 feel that when I am locked in my room jerking off to porn I am at the lowest point I can be. I find it weak, lazy & easy. Its not easy to go out and talk to real girls and work hard instead of lounging and watching porn. Its also not easy to eat extremely healthy when you are trying to get ripped. Same thing. I am not against either but its the men who stay away from the easy life who will eventually live the good life.
          Your commenting on my website that I built in the time you were watching porn. You are only validating my point.
          If you take my advice, cool. If you don’t that’s fine. These are just a few of the many reasons it will benefit you.

          1. monsterman

            well said!!!

          2. NYC_B09K

            Bravo!!! That was VERY well put! 😀

  3. Robert J

    Okay guys so this article has truly changed my life. I literally keep it open in my browser constantly since I first viewed in Dec 22. I have not watched porn since that time HOWEVER I will admit I just looked a photo with a model (not a pornstar) and I masturbated. I’m feeling low about it and I really could use some encouragement. Was this bad?

    1. Sean Russell

      Hey Robert,
      It’s cool man, don’t get too discouraged.
      Its been 8 months since I have fully “watched porn and masturbated,” But during that time there were moments where I slipped and viewed porn. Its natural, its just a testament to how powerful its pull is on us.
      I remember being very discouraged wondering if I ruined my progress, but its truly all part of the process. There are going to be setbacks but it doesn’t bring you back to the start. And the fact that you only looked at a model is great! That not nearly as falsely stimulating as porn, its actually pretty natural.
      So remember, its a marathon and not a sprint so take that as a positive because staying positive will keep you on track. Even if you fuck up, try to find someway to flip it into a positive, and I think ur slip up is definitely a small positive.

      1. Robert

        Thanks so much for the response Sean. This article has conpletely changed my life and provided so much light for me in what I thought was a never ending tunnel. I’ll never forget the moment I found this

  4. Chris

    This is very true i have noticed, no porn or masturbating, i am on fire, smooth talker, witty, funny, calm, relaxed, not afraid, James Bond like. Once i do, BOOM, back in the darkness, full of fears, self conciousness, and anxiety . Thanks Sean, thanks.

    1. Good Guy

      I think you might have some problem that you are projecting onto porn as the reason for it. Where you raised religious or in a strict culture where watching porn makes you feel taboo and disgusting? I’ve been watching porn for years and I have had 0 problems with my confidence and dating women.

      1. Sean Russell

        I’m sure you are quite the cassanova.
        I am not religious at all and never had any disgust with watching porn. In fact, the problem was I loved it so much I became completely contempt with watching porn over going to find a girl for satisfaction. I got laid all the time too in my porn day, but I wasn’t even close to my potential. That in my eyes is the problem.
        Not everyone has this problem and I am glad you don’t. I know a lot of people who watch plenty of porn and it doesn’t affect their dating life. But for many men, it does. Marriages are ruined all the time because of porn, it is just a fact.

      2. Sean Russell

        Btw, did you know there is an entire culture in Japan who have given u women for porn. They are called herbivores. Not everyone gets off scott free like you. Open your mind a little bit.

        1. Rex

          I don’t understand what you’re taking about.

          1. Sean Russell

            Then you are one of the lucky ones.

        2. Rex

          I have to point this out and am surprised no one seem to have caught this. But was James Bond “slaying” or “laying” gorgeous women?

  5. Marcos

    Hi, Great article here sir! 🙂
    I’m only 19 but I think porn is causing my ED because I still get morning wood! But no spontaneous ones during the day! Can you still masturbate say 2 times a week but with NO PORN and just imagination? How long does it take to see a difference? Thanks

    1. Sean Russell

      Hey man,
      Dropping porn is a huge start, so I would say yeah you can treat yourself as many times a week as you like if that’s what you want to do.
      Personally though, the most powerful thing you can do is to not fantasize at all. If you can masturbate without thinking and just being fully present and focused on feeling this will have the best effect on you.
      I used to fantasize like crazy and I found when with a girl it was almost boring to the point I had to fantasize when I was with her!
      But by eliminating all fantasy now I enjoy sex so much more, I stay present during it and it’s a much better experience. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t even want to masturbate I just seek out girls.
      Fantasy is essentially just playing a porn video in your head. And when you make it that easy for yourself to be fully pleasured at any moment, your desire to go out and meet women still takes a hit.
      This is just my opinion from my experience but find what works for you, and congratulations on taking the first step man.

  6. Cannawolf

    Nice article. Reminds me of my boyfriend who was a virgin when I met him online. He was insecure, only had negative assumptions about women, watched far too much porn and took out his frustrations over not getting laid by being a bit of a troll. Luckily I saw thy underneath all that he was a sweet boy who did want to be a gentleman to a lady but had a hard time respecting women having never been with one and only watching girls being cummed on in their face and called a slut. Now I’m no prude (pole dancer, lingerie/pinup modelling), and I am not ‘jealous’ of pornstars but believe sex with emotional intimacy and mutual respect is awesome. Since he’s been having real life sex with me he is slowly becoming more confident, happy, mature and understanding that women are real human beings. I’m still trying to get through the issue of wanting to dirty talk though… Ive been sexually abused and hate being talked to like my sexuality is bad and I’m only having sex because I’m being forcefully degraded for him pleasure. He doesn’t seem to get that calling women sluts like the ones in porn puts a negative connotation on things when she DOES want to get freaky for mutual benefit. Oddly he also found himself self conscious about his body and never thought his penks was big. This is crazy because it’s actually too big nearing 9 inches but he assumed himsel to be ‘lesser’ than a pornstar! I’m seeing him soon with black lace French knickers, costumes and corsets, but thankfully I think he won’t for a second forget I am his beloved girlfriend and not a girl on screen he can click the x button in the top right of the window on. He’s slowly beginning to last longer too ;3 The more he shows willingness to acknowledge me and my sexuality rather than sex just being for ‘dirty women’ in porn who should be punished, the less shame I feel as a woman giving him the 5* treatment with random blowjobs just to keep him on his toes. Ditch porn. The real thing is better.

    1. Sean Russell

      Very nice Canna,
      You sound like an awesome girlfriend, hes lucky to have you.

  7. Ken

    I’m 21 years old, and ever since hitting puberty, I’ve always been a nervous wreck around beautiful women I meet for the first time. I always thought I was just anxious by nature. It wasn’t till I read accounts of men losing their social anxiety and becoming more confident AFTER quitting porn that I realized I might’ve just inadvertently set myself up for social anxiety from the start (I started watching porn heavily once I hit puberty). I remember being a confident little kid who had no problems talking to boys and girls. For all I know I might still have that natural confidence deep inside, and it might just be buried beneath years of porn use. So I’ve decided to quit porn/masturbation all together and find out who I really am, when completely uninhibited by porn. Today’s my 30th day porn/masturbation free and I have begun to feel slightly less anxious/more confident as the days go by. Hopefully it’s legit and not just placebo. Excited to see how much my confidence and ability with women grows. Excited for my overall growth as a man in general!

    1. Sean Russell

      Your story is very similar to mine Ken. I am 24 now and watched porn from prepuberty puberty to age 23, a lot.
      One month is awesome, but what they don’t tell you on many other sites is that is takes a long time to fully be past porn, but it will happen.
      I remember around 2-3 months I thought I was past it and felt great but I wasnt. I started having constant porn wet dreams almost every night around month 4. Then that past and I got even better.
      I still have days when I really crave porn when i’m bored and on the computer. I have slipped and watched some for a few minutes but never masterbated to it, and I used to get really down when I did. But now I am starting to realize that its all part of the recovery. If you slip, its not something to get down about. Thats just where you are in recovery and its part of it, and when you are 100% you won’t even think about slipping because you won’t care about porn.
      Our brains have been hardwired on porn. As we grew up and our brains developed in their most crucial time. porn was big part of that development. It will take a while to rewire, but it will. Some of the HD porn is crazy now. I really feel bad for the generation growing up now..
      It has been 8 months for me, and I am just starting to get to the point where I think of porn and am like ehh, don’t need it. I still crave it some days, but less and less. Like I said it takes a while but you will get there.
      Good luck man.

  8. Robert

    As of tomorrow, January 17, 2014, I will be on day one. I’m sick of living this way !!

    1. Sean Russell

      Well done Robert. Its the first day of the rest of your life!

  9. Luke

    This article really hit home for me. I have been addicted to porn for a long time. I’m married and I feel like shit when I delete my browser history. I’m determined to stop this time. I have to admit, it’s not an easy thing to do and it’s so easy to be pulled back into the rabbit hole. I’ll keep referring back to this article to give me inspiration.

    1. Sean Russell

      I’m glad this article helped you Luke. It is extremely easy to be pulled back into the rabbit hole, I know. I had many failures before I had success. But you got this.

  10. Dan

    Wow…great article.
    So I hadn’t really been planning on stopping porn/masturbating today. It’s been on my mind that I do it too often and it’s REALLY been on my mind that I’ve not been getting with girls recently (my last relationship finished 18 months ago and beyond a couple of flings I’ve been pretty much on my own). I’ve just felt lacking in confidence and unsure about how to connect with people generally, not just women. I think naturally I’m quite an outgoing, fun person and yet I’ve not seemed to translate that into my life for around about… 18 months. Funny that.
    Then today I had the house to myself and nothing much to do, so I took my laptop to bed and watched porn. And literally the second it was done all I could think was “what the hell am I doing?” and immediately googled “how to stop watching porn” and found this article. I’m glad I did. I’ve spent so long pondering my low energy/confidence, which felt like it was just getting gradually eaten away, but I never considered that this might be the cause. More than that, I’ve felt for a while now that porn is just such an exercise in degradation and objectification of women, and I hate that, but I just kept on justifying watching it in my head for various poor reasons. Well, not anymore. I’m going to give this a try. Thanks a lot for this article.

    1. Sean Russell

      I’m really glad that you found this article Dan. If it contributes at all to completely changing your life, like it sounds like it will, then all my efforts on this site thus far have been worth it.
      Comments like this really inspire me and I wish you the best of luck. Based on the incredible feedback this article has had I am going to write an article on how exactly to quit porn 100% b/c this will be on of the hardest things you will do, and most guys go back.
      You will soon feel the force porn has to drawing you in (its incredibly powerful), and I have learned a lot in the last 8 months on how to overcome it. So article to come on that, probably when I reach a year b/c I know I still have a lot to learn.
      But thanks for the comment, you really made my day. And you definitely have the strength inside to do this.

  11. Cris

    My story is pretty sad actually………….I have been viewing porn in some form or another since I was 8 years old but the addiction became much more intense as I got older. All the things said above in the article are true although I don’t have ED. I became much less active in all the things I used to be active in and my relationships with people and friends suffered because all I could ever think about was getting my porn fix. I never had much luck with the girls and so the porn became the answer. As the article says, the porn will never reject you. I found that over time I started to have some problems. One, my penis seemed smaller and my scrotum also. Another problem I had was that when I peed I would dribble and I know this is related to a prostate problem; well guess what. After about 10 days or so of not masterbating the dribbling lessened. The longer I went, the less of a problem I had. So in my opinion, over masterbating can have a negative effect on the prostate. The shape and appearance of my penis changed. It looked much healthier and it felt better also (much more sensitive to the touch). I found that by masterbating, I was ejaculating less and less and not shooting at all. There are probably other things I could mention but the worst thing that happened was my wife leaving me. My porn habit was simply unacceptable to her and now I understand why. I used to try to explain to her that I needed my release and even asked her nicely to leave the house a couple of times so I could masterbate to porn. I could not get her pregnant because my sperm and ejaculations were so weak. Not surprisingly, she left me for another man who does not watch porn and I am a sad sad individual because of it. Don’t do what I did. I am now paying the price for having a porn addiction (reap what I sow). I will rebuild my life though and I will gain control of my life. I will be a better person in the future. I am still married btw. I hope my story can inspire and help somebody who was in my same position. Be Strong……..Cris (46 years old)

    1. Sean Russell

      Cris, thankyou for sharing your story.
      I know it takes a lot of courage and I hope that you can inspire others to quit before their problem becomes too much.
      There is no doubt that you can turn your life around, the human potential to overcome adversity is incredible. Good luck and if there is anything you ever need you know where to find us.

  12. Andie

    This was a great article. After my ex husband started looking at porn more often, he started complaining about the way I looked (we have 3 kids together and I don’t like I did 10 years ago), started pressuring me to do things in bed that I wasn’t comfortable with and saying our sex was boring. I tried to be open-minded, but when I finally told him there were just some things I couldn’t bring myself to do, he left. Two weeks later he told me he wanted a divorce. It really hurt my self-esteem. I’ve become so unhappy with myself because I just don’t have it in me to be “porn star material. ” I’ll never look like those women or do a lot of the things they do. I did a Google search to see if there were men who didn’t look at porn or set such unrealistic expectations on women, and I found this. Thanks for giving me hope again.

    1. Sean Russell

      Andie,
      That is some story, and you shouldn’t feel bad about yourself, it was your husband who had the problem, not you.
      Fortunately, there are more and more groups and men becoming anti-porn every week. People are starting to see how crippling it is and the rise against porn is really growing. There are groups everywhere like the reddit no-fap group: http://en-us.reddit.com/r/NoFap
      Its inspiring to see and I hope your story can show some men how porn addiction is not only affecting themselves, but their loved ones.
      Thanks Andie

    2. Kim

      My husband divorced me solely because I had a problem with porn. He couldn’t even see how it was impacting me, or the fact that he was criticizing how I looked. He told me that he should never know that I have hair down there. He said that I was just insecure and was the one with the problem for not accepting porn. And yet everything we did came right out of porn and it was humiliating. Did he want to be with me, or just use me to be with his thoughts?

      1. Sean Russell

        I’m sorry to hear that Kim. I hope your story sets of a lightbulb in other men.

  13. Arturo B.

    I have been recovering from my porn and masturbating habits for around a year now. With help and support from god, my family and church I stopped completely for months, became more confident with women and
    life. I even got myself a girlfriend. Unfortunately about a couple of months ago I fell off the wagon again and have been struggling once more. Its not as bad as it used to be but it still occures quite frequently. After having fallen into temptation again I stumbled unto this blogpost feeling I needed to do something about it and I thank god that I did. After reading this blog I realized that I’m not the only guy struggling with this degrading habit. I felt inspired to do something about it after reading all the comments and came up with an idea. I will write down a number on a dry eraseboard I use for notes which will be the amount of days I have gone without porn or masturbating. This will keep me motivated to keep going and just like you said “its a marathon not a sprint”. Even if I struggle and fall I will kep going. I hope this idea can inspire anyone else that reads this and if you can come up with other motivating ideas please let me know I’d love to hear em! God bless

  14. AJ

    Try having Aspergers- that will mess you up with women worse than porn ever could. You can decide to stop watching porn, but you cant rewire your brain to fix a mental disorder youve had since birth.
    I haven’t had date with anyone I didnt meet online in six years.

    1. Sean Russell

      I’m sorry to hear about that AJ, you must be a strong person to deal with such adversity

  15. sebb

    Hey Im from Europe. and I must say,,, ITS GREAT ARTICLE! THANKS!!!!!!

  16. Jake

    I agree with this article. Porn and masturbation screws up my life, Im so much better of a man without it. My confidence is high, Im meeting women, Im smooth,, Im extremely social,, just a different person altogether.. It’s so hard to quit though and I feel like total shit right now, time to kick this habit for good

    1. Sean Russell

      Nice Jake,
      I agree, it is so hard to quit. So what helps is to adopt the mindset that this is going to be a lifestyle, for the rest of your life. Most people treat porn like a diet. They go hardcore cut it off and then in a month they rebound and watch it more than before. In the fitness world, Its the people who change their lifestyle and don’t think of it as dieting that have lifelong success and good health and fitness.
      Its a long process, but you will thank yourself in years to come.

  17. Rick

    Great article saved my night , i hope it saves the rest of my life.
    I’ve been in a habit of watching porn and masturbating 2-5 hours a day for like 5 years , sometimes twice a day untill this night i was searching for porn like always and suddenly i found this article , really when i saw this article it saved me , i’ve been trying to do anything to stop watching porn but couldnt , wasnt strong enough , porn destroyed my life and my body , i used to go to gym and meet new friends and go out alot but when this habit started , i lost my fitness and started to be really lazy , almost all my friends are stronger than me now , all i do is masturbate and then look in the mirror and ask myself why am doing that ? but never stopped really hard , its like drugs .
    Really i liked your article , thanks man it really helped me , and if i couldnt stop watching porn and masturbating for long , atleast you saved me from masturbating this night .
    Thanks again.

    1. Sean Russell

      No problem Rick,
      I am glad this helped you, and yes it definitely is like a drug 100%. In fact it is a drug. This infographic in this article sums it up: http://www.menprovement.com/porn-addiction/
      But anyway I’m glad to help and good luck with everything. I am going to write an article about how to quit porn in the next few months, once I have passed the 1 year mark. So keep in touch.
      – Sean

  18. Paul

    My friend… it was a great article. By this time i have to say that thankfully i’m still not a fully addict to porn but it has weakened my body and mind. I only have had one girlfriend… i noticed my sex life with her was “boring”. She didn’t give me what I wanted (porn fantasies) and in the end i felt like a baby when i was at her side, NOT LIKE A MAN! My erections are weak as well, for the same reasons. I know that a unstimulating sex life is half because of no-chemistry with your mate but it can also be affected by PORN! There were real problems with her but unreal fantasies too. It was a tormented relationship, from which i wanted my exit (but couldn’t find it because of my stupid dreams). Stepping out from that was my first step to know myself. Now this article has provided me my second flight far away from porn. I’ll start today
    thank you very much

    1. Sean Russell

      Paul you speak the truth!
      And I am glad to give you the push. Goodluck!

  19. Brian

    men ,boys and monkeys have been masturbating for eons.irregardless we’re all hard wired for that that’s how we all got here.If your spouse or significant others Anterior has grown extremely LARGE one might need some outside stimulation before being able to take the plunge.Kings had 500 wives because they could, brothels existed and exist for a reason , whether it was a JCPenney bra add or aborigine in National Geographic or your uncles Playboy it happens . abstinence is the strangest perversion that there is it leaks out of you if you don’t it prevents prostate cancer , speeding and eating too much chocolate cake are all so bad for you.Moderator and moderation come from the same word strangely enough

    1. Sean Russell

      I agree Brian,
      I do not recommend abstinence at all, I recommend sex and masterbation if needed. But its the porn that is so addicting and completely un-natural. It leaks an unnatural amount of chemicals in your brain and when it affects your relationships and life, this is a problem.

  20. Paul

    A couple of notes:
    masturbating is not bad per se… it’s a natural way of releasing sexual energy when a girl is not crushing your balls… you can climb a hill, you can play soccer or you can masturbate… the thing is when that natural action is captured by porn… then both become an obssession…
    i don’t want to seem like a expert here but i think a good way of reducing that excess of porn images in our brains is to reduce the “large” of our fantasies… for example: if you dream with girls with big tits, totally covered in makeup… try to think about a girl with normal breast and normal make-up
    by the way: last night was the first night 🙂

  21. losers

    garbage, porn has saved the planet!

  22. Cameron

    Hi 🙂
    I’m on my 12th da of NO Porn, Masturbating or Orgasm. I seem to have a weaker erection than I use to and no random erections anymore and not much morning wood :/ And I’m only 19 and fit and healthy! Just before I started my run of this I use to masturbate to porn quite a bit. Like I’d go a day without then the next day I’d do it about 3 times in one day :/ How long does it take to see some good improvements with your erections and libido and stuff? Do you think I desensitized myself to normal things and got use to porn women? Thanks for your help! Is it ok to masturbate again soon but limit it to once or twice a week but with NO porn at all and jus imagination of women I’ve seen at the gym or work throuhout the day? Thanks for your help!

    1. Sean Russell

      Cameron,
      Personally I now do not find it healthy to not masturbate or have sex. It is unnatural as much as porn is.
      I think you should listen to your body and do as you feel. If you are desensitized to real sex from excessive porn use, it will take your mind a while to revert back to its natural state. Masturbating without fantasy and real man to women sex is the best remedy.

  23. sexlessam

    What about sexually lonely men like me who are unable to have sex with a partner? My wife stopped having sex with me years ago. I remain faithful and don’t want to get a divorce and breakup the family. We get along fine despite there being no sex. So my only sexual outlet is masturbation and porn.
    I’ll tell you one thing. If I gave up the porn and masturbation the chances of me cheating on my wife out of sexual desperation are about 100%
    So in a way porn keeps my family together and keeps me from straying from my marriage. I don’t like the situation but my family is more important to me than affairs or paid sex.

    1. Sean Russell

      I guess there are extremes in any situation.
      The focus of this article is for a self improvement purpose. I believe that men can improve by giving up porn and focusing more on their sex lives, wives or dating externally. In your case, that seems to not be applicable. We all find ourselves in tough times in our lives at one point or another. I hope you sort everything out soon.

  24. SexlessSam

    After being sexless for two decades I highly doubt that. And my situation is not “extreme” at all. There are more men in sexless marriage situations situation than you might think. And I didn’t even mention thousands if not millions of men who have physical or psychological handicaps that make meeting and dating women difficult. My point is that for many men porn does serve a purpose as a surrogate sexual partner, if only if fantasy for those who cannot find a woman to agree to have sex with them.

    1. Sean Russell

      You’re right,
      But again this is a self improvement website and is just 10 reasons to stop watching porn what will improve your life. I am sure for many there are 10 reasons to keep watching porn to improve theirs.

    2. James

      The question would then become “do you watch porn because your marriage is sexless, or is your marriage sexless because you watch porn?” There is, in my opinion a HUGE difference! If you have a happy marriage, and you are fully loyal to your wife, and love her dearly, but she doesn’t have the desire to have sex (or physically cannot have sex), then I can see turning to porn. That doesn’t however mean you have to become addicted to porn (what I feel the OP is trying to address here). Quitting porn in this scenario will most likely not do anything for you, or worst case scenario, cause marital problems by upsetting your balance.
      However, if you are addicted to porn, and have been for some time, and slowly drifted apart (sexually) from your wife over time due to it, and your marriage became sexless, that’s a different story. If you and your wife make each other happy, and you trust each other, and fully love each other, she might have just accepted your pornography addiction, and because of her love to you decided to live in a sexless marriage. In this scenario, you may find that beating your porn addiction will actually bring sex back to a sexless marriage (perhaps even more passionate than when you were younger).
      It all depends on where you come from, and where you’re going. This post is relevant to some, and irrelevant to others.

      1. Sean Russell

        Exactly James, every case is different. This article is just to inspire some thought in men.

  25. Joachim

    Man, you’re a hero. I’ve been reading the post and all comments, and a lot of things are so recognizable. Personally I’ve had ups and downs in quitting porn, but this article really helped me getting me motivated again.
    As a kid, I remember, I was very social, but since my puberty I have started watching porn and since then I have difficulties in having social contact. As others mentioned, I just know that my old ‘social nature’ is still there, and I know I will be much happier, clearer and more confident if I stop exposing my brains to the unnatural amount of visual stimulation.
    I think it’s actually one of the biggest problems of society today.
    Thanks for your efforts on this, for keeping this topic active (replying on the comments) and being a help to all of us!

    1. Sean Russell

      Thanks Joachim,
      I have been getting 90% great feedback on this and 10% negative and every positive comment is fuel to keep bringing valuable content. I will have more articles on this subject as I learn more about it from comments and such. But thank you for the kind words in the meantime.

  26. Shaun

    I read elsewhere that NOT masturbating could cause prostate cancer? At the same time I believe that this article and Whye Porn is Holding You Back article have a great point I would like to find out if there is any truth in this prostate cancer thing”?
    Thank you 🙂

    1. Sean Russell

      Yeah, I do not think it is great to never ejaculate. Which is why I recommend sex and even masturbation if you have to.
      That being said Taoist masters have been practicing “sexual kung fu” where they have multiple orgasms without ejaculating and never ejaculate at all. They believe when you do you are losing your vital energy, and instead they harness this energy for good health and vitality. These are some of the healthiest mother fuckers alive 😉

    2. James

      Whether or not you choose to masturbate doesn’t matter to your body. It is constantly producing semen, and where as your sexual habits can change how much semen your body produces, it doesn’t ever completely stop. When you chose not to ejaculate (you don’t masturbate, and you don’t have sex often, if at all) your body will find the means of releasing the pent of semen on its own. This is usually done in your sleep, so you end up having to wake up to a bed full of cold semen.
      The concern for cancer is in holding semen in your body for so long that your body forces a release in your sleep. I don’t believe there is really any truth to this, but as I’m not a scientist, I really can’t say for certain.
      Most guys need to ejaculate at least once a week (again depending on how much semen YOUR body produces). If you have sex once a week, and don’t have wet dreams, you can completely stop masturbating without concern of picking up a sex addiction. If you have sex once a week, and don’t masturbate, but have wet dreams, then you either need to have sex more often in a week, or masturbate a couple times a week.
      The issue there is not over doing either of those. If you have more sex then your body needs, you risk developing a sex addiction. Likewise, if you masturbate more than your body needs, you risk another addiction (yes, you can be addicted to masturbation without porn: porn is just a means to an end, afterall).
      One way or another, your body is going to get ride of that semen, so you might as well save yourself the trouble of having to clean up your mess at night, and either add a little bit more sex, or masturbate. If you’re fighting a porn addiction, though, don’t screw it up by over doing masturbation or sex. Addiction is addiction, that’s what you’re trying to fight here.

  27. Kay

    I stumbled on this site while searching for information on how to give an erotic massage. I’m a single woman, but on the off-chance I ever get a boyfriend again I want to add some things to my repertoire!
    I find this article and the comments really interesting. For a long time, pornography and the sex industry has been a topic that I’ve tried to read and educate myself about both in school and in my free time. I grew up in a very strict, religious household and now as an adult, I’m really fascinated by anything that I was taught was “taboo.” It seems like your article is focused on porn movies and not other forms of porn (images in magazine, tumblr, poems, stories, audio etc). Do you think your ideas hold true for porn in other formats?
    Pornography can be a healthy sexual outlet or it can be something awful. I think it really depends on the mindset of the person, why they are watching porn, the type of porn they watch and whether or not they are addicted to porn. I think consuming porn is a bit like consuming alcohol; some people can enjoy it occasionally and use it to add pleasure to their lives and other people become completely dependent on it to function.
    I suspect the reason that porn in book form (romance novels, 50 shades of grey) is so incredibly popular with women is because women use it as sexual outlet: A place to indulge in fantasy that they can’t or won’t experience in real life. (Although women and men seem to have very different relationships with porn).
    I applaud and respect anybody who realizes that something in their life is not making them happy and getting rid of it (whether that’s porn, drugs, toxic people, a shitty job, a terrible partner, etc).
    For you guys who are struggling, good luck!

    1. Sean Russell

      That was a very beautiful explanation of things Kay and I really appreciate it.
      I agree with you 100%. It can be harmless, or it can ruin you.

  28. Shaun

    Thank you for your answer Sean. Sorry for no answering sooner 🙂
    I am embarrased by the fact that I am only 14 and started to watch porn last year. Since I stopped watching porn I have lost weight too!!
    On answer to your answer to my question Sean, since I am 14 sex is kind off a nono so masturbation is my only form of ejaculation. What do you think. It said that people that masturbate once A week are 10% less likely to gwt prostate cancer. Wouldthat be acceptable?
    Mind over matter guys. Mind over porn

  29. Claudio

    Hi, I’m 19 years old and I think I have some erection issues 🙁 I don’t get morning wood or seem to get any erections throughout the day anymore. However, I get them sometimes in the shower and when I’m going to sleep at night I can feel one coming sometimes but never during the day :/ I’m still a virgin but I eat very healthy and do lots of sports and exercise and get plenty of sleep. I masturbate only to porn. The last time I used my imagination was about 2 years a go :((( I masturbate about 7 times a week. Recently I read some stuff on the internet and I am currently 7 days without watching porn and masturbating? Is this the right thing to do? I’m going to try and go to weeks without Porn and masturbation but then after that start masturbating maybe 2 times a week maximum but to my imagination only? Is this a good idea? And how long before I can see good results ad get random hard erections again? Thank you 🙂

    1. Sean Russell

      Hey Dude,
      Thanks for coming by the site first off. I have received many questions similar to yours and this is a common problem in men now, and is easily reversible.
      My advice for you is 100% do not worry about masturbation, but stop watching porn. Masturbation is natural and men have needs. It’s against nature to not masturbate or have sex, so by all means have sex, masturbate if your not having sex and don’t feel bad about doing it. But it’s porn that is causing your erectile issues.
      You say you have erectile issues but you still masturbate to porn, so it seems that everything still works down there! This is most likely a psychological issue because of your brains adaptation to porn. I was the same way, but now I get aroused at just the thought of a beautiful woman.
      My immediate recommendations: Keep giving into your natural urges, but cut the porn. It will be hard (no pun intended). And your erections won’t come back right away, and you will likely give in and watch porn many times before you give it up forever so dont get down on yourself. But just try to cut back and in a year you could be a different person.
      Plus Try to meet a girl or many girls or get a gf. Hope this helped Claudio!

      1. Claudio

        Thanks so much for your reply Sean! I’m on my 19th day in a row now without Porn so I guess that’s good! I have noticed a tiny improvement with erection quality and arousal but not much :/ Do you think after 90 days of no Porn there should be a good improvement? Thanks 😀

        1. Sean Russell

          I think there should definitely be good improvement after 90 days. But the desire to watch porn takes much longer to go away.

          1. Claudio

            Thanks Sean 🙂
            Right now I’m one day away from completing 4 weeks without watching or looking at porn. I have only masturbated once in this period but that was to my imagination. Just recently though I’ve found that my libido has dropped an awful lot and barley any erections at all? Is this normal? Thanks man!

          2. Sean Russell

            I wouldn’t worry about not masturbating or anything. That is normal unlike porn. It is not uncommon to notice random drops in libdo when not viewing porn. Change is definitely not linear. To me, going no porn is a lifestyle change to have better relationships and enjoy sex more. I believe that it takes over a year to fully get over porn after a decade+ of relying on it for secual gratification everyday. But there are definitely “flatline” stages, everyone reports this.
            Stay positive!

      2. John Pierre

        I KNOW but masturbation more than 2 times a week is considered as an addiction

        1. Sean Russell

          Yes, unless you are doing it for self cultivating reasons like energy cultivation and being multi-orgasmic. But RARELY are these the reasons people are masturbating.

  30. Claudio

    Thanks Sean 🙂 Do you know how long the flatline stage will last? I must have had about 1 erection in the last 4 days and no morning wood at all it’s quite worrying 🙁 I will continue though I want to make at least 90 days 🙂 I’ve got 60 more to go!

    1. Sean Russell

      Try to stop worrying about it, a lot of time these things are psychological.
      Things will bounce back man. You’ve got these 60 days!

  31. Claudio

    Yeah your right I think the Porn has caused a psychological thing too! It’s good to know that its ok still to masturbate but without the porn of course because I’m not having sex right now. Even still I’m trying to keep masturbation down to once a week maximum so it can help with recovery. Why do you think a lot of people say you can masturbate to imagination and it stops you healing? That’s weird right? Everyone has masturbated before and when we were younger we masturbated without porn and everything was ok! And surely masturbation with your imagination is telling your brain to think about real women? Thanks!

    1. Sean Russell

      I know Claudio,
      It is a fine line between imagination and watching porn in your mind. I think that is much more natural, but if you are just replaying porn scenes in your mind, whats the difference.
      The ideal situation is replacing porn with sex, but it is hard when you are not having sex.

      1. James

        Sean, if you take a severe porn addiction (lets say 4 or more times a day, every day) and your “ideal situation” is to replace it with sex, all that’s going to do is take away one porn addict, and add one sex addict. It’s still an addiction, it doesn’t solve the problem, and if anything it can hurt far more people (particularly the women you’re taking your sex addiction out on).
        In my honest opinion, any addiction is a bad thing, so to me all your “ideal situation” means is covering up one problem with another. It’s like someone who finally after many years of struggling to quit smoking finally quit, but in order to quit, they became a hardcore alcoholic. Or, like sweeping dirt under a rug. It’s not fixing the problem. It’s just changing what you’re addicted to. The addiction itself is going unaddressed.
        Not to say that you are incorrect, Sean. Sex is natural, but if you tell me you’re “replacing” porn addiction with sex, I’d imagine you’ll try to have as much sex with as many women as you can, and that sounds just as unhealthy.
        If you truly want to address your addiction to porn, and decide to take inspiration from this post, then I would highly suggest a few points. Do cut yourself off from porn only to turn around and make real women your tools for sex. Masturbation is completely natural, and you can do it without the aid of porn (don’t replay porn in your head, as that doesn’t help). I’m not saying don’t have sex, but respect women, and at least try and build a relationship with one before going out into the sex world. Otherwise you’re just setting yourself up to become a sex addict instead.
        Also, be extra cautious that you don’t form a new bad addiction as you’re trying to get off porn. Often times, people who are struggling with a non-chemical addiction don’t know what to do with the time that would usually be spent on their vice. This is why you see quitting smokers becoming overweight, or alcoholics, or addicted to video games, etc.
        Have a plan and stick to it! It’s not going to help you if you get over your porn addiction, but now you eat every time you’re bored, or if you spend all of that extra time on video games, or if you turn to other substances. When I was fighting my video game addiction, I turned my extra time into “gym” time, or a hobby. Something that keeps my mind preoccupied, so I wasn’t thinking about video games, but that was also healthy!
        Last bit of advice. Have someone to support you. A family member, girlfriend, wife, friend. I know that porn addicts (much like my video game addiction) suffer from social issues, so you might not have anyone to turn to. Don’t turn to people that are addicted to porn (unless they’re also serious about trying to beat it). If need be, hire a counselor with the money you’ll save from not paying for porn, but have someone that you trust that you can confide in, that can support you.
        Beating an addiction is a life changing event, and once you’re over it, I can’t even begin to describe how good you feel about yourself. Just to be clear, I’m not against porn, as long as it’s used in moderation. Addictions are the thing we should be fighting, and that’s the part I agree with the post about. I caution the attitude of “real men,” however. That mentality will only shift your addiction, and not help you beat it.
        If you don’t masturbate, and you aren’t having a ton of sex, then your body will find its release while you sleep, and you’ll end up having a wet dream. Don’t quit porn only to become a sex addict (yes, you can have sex without being a sex addict…), and don’t also completely quit masturbation, unless you’re okay with changing your sheets often. Masturbate without imagining or using porn, IN MODERATION, as a release a couple times a week. Your body needs it. Have sex with someone you feel emotionally close with. Having sex with no emotional attachments leads to sex addictions. Overall, be healthy, and you’ll thank yourself later!

        1. Sean Russell

          James,
          Your thoughts on sex and porn are wrong. One can have sex everyday and still be highly addicted to porn, without sex affecting it at all. You are coming from the right place, but I have experienced it. A brain can crave porn and not crave sex. It is just proven in the fact that having sex 3 times within a year of quitting porn it never sparked withdrawal symptoms. Then I craved and watched porn a year later and had horrible withdrawal symptoms again.
          The brain differentiates sex and porn.
          Which is why replacing porn addiction with natural sex, is not replacing addiction for addiction. It sounds logical that it would be, but it is not. I replaced porn with sex every once in a while, since I am not in a relationship and am very busy. I do not crave sex like I craved porn. I still crave porn.
          So again, I appreciate where you are coming from, but I can tell you from experience that your thoughts are not 100% correct. I have seen hundreds of guys with porn issues and none of them have replaced it with sex addiction after abstaining and having healthy sex. Please understand this.

        2. Sean Russell

          It’s kind of like when opiate addicts quit they are recommended to exercise, this doesn’t mean they will replace opiate addiction with an exercise addiction like some people do. They still crave the opiates. It is commonly the same with sex and porn.
          But again, I appreciate the insights – we will be away until monday so get back to you then if you have any other comments.

  32. Axe

    Great article Sean … porn is truly unnatural and this post was surely worth reading. Thanks a lot.

  33. anonymous

    I disagree, but if its been observed by scientists then maybe you have a chance to prove it, but here is my two cents. It may prevent you from cheating, it will prevent you from getting STDs, it doesn’t require you to be in the same room as the individual(s), and it can be done to release stress or tension. 10-4, is still a reason to not do it, Don’t do it too often.

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  36. James Sampson

    I’m experiencing a relapse back into more severe pornography addiction. I have used hard drugs without becoming addicted, but porn is a lot harder to resist as it hijacks a fundamental drive. Contrary to popular opinion, use of “drugs” (plants) can be natural and healthy. Porn is completely unnatural. There is a broader addiction to looking at screens of all kinds. Porn is the most extreme, but television and smart phones are also extremely destructive. However, the Internet can be used judiciously to get information and support on sites such as this one.
    A family member unwittingly enabled my relapse by giving me a new computer to replace my old one that was all gummed up with computer STDs (or PTDs as it were) (aka malware). No more freezing or choppy video. That’s what makes it so hard. You have to use the computer to pay your taxes and do all kinds of stuff like that. You have to conduct business on the computer and then porn is just a click away. It’s often not what you set out to do. I have been most successful in reducing porn use by avoiding using the computer altogether, kind of like an alcoholic who won’t go to parties and bars.
    I have been to the most abysmal depths. Watching extreme porn for eight hours at a stretch and ejaculating 10 times in a row at the end. Getting into the shower in all types of physical and emotional pain trying to wash of the filth. The worst is when my clicking leads me into some sort of BDSM shit. I can’t stand how that is creeping into our society and being legitimized. People like that are not evil, just retarded and cut off from the better things in life. Porn is the one thing that doesn’t fit with the rest of my personality. I’m health conscious, in good shape, spiritual, intellectually active, disciplined, kind. Porn brings about OCD symptoms as I try to ritually separate that junk from the more pure aspects of myself. When I’m alone (eg., making breakfast) I lose myself in an OCD moment, suddenly aware that I was uttering lines from a porn movie under my breath.
    If porn can cause ED that is probably the subliminal motive for it’s use. I have dreams where there is a monster which I keep thinking that I had killed only to find him resurrected. The monster is the libido. Judgment and mistreatment from women is too much to bear and one attempts to perform a temporary castration by sapping all of the sexual energy.
    Looking back on my life, the happiest moments all shared the common element of no porn and only very infrequent masturbation. This was almost always due to external constraints than willpower. I did manage to intentionally go for a month porn free or for periods only using magazines, but I never went far enough that things started to get easier. It was always a struggle, marking off the days. I guess that I did have something significant happen in that I remember being aroused by tiny things, like a classically inspired nude statue at an art gallery. A big problem is that our current society is designed in a way to prevent people from falling in love. Just think about it. One can easily find women who are strangers, but one has difficulty seeing the same woman on a regular basis so that attraction can develop naturally and gradually. These opportunities have been few and far between for me since I have been out of school and working in all male environments. At the risk of sounding conspiratorial, I don’t think that it’s unreasonable to assume that certain actors would find us easier to control if we are hooked on porn rather than in human relationships. One thing that I found frightening going off porn was that I felt less dependant on society and thus dreaming of living off the land or committing revolutionary acts. It’s hard to aggressively approach a strange woman because it’s unnatural. Websites like this will get into “evolutionary” alpha male type thinking and idolizations of hollywood action stars. While this “survival of the fittest” element is buried somewhere in the distant past, the Anthropological record shows that this has not been a driving factor in human societies for many millennia. Hunter gather societies are characterized by their extremely egalitarian nature.
    When I first got into porn, I really thought it was a good thing. I think that it could have a use, but it would take superhuman feats of self restraint to avoid getting sucked back into the abyss. I can’t really see it being good for the brain, but it must have some benefits for the body when used in moderation. When I started using porn, I thought that it was necessary to prevent the atrophy of my genitals from lack of use. In my experience porn can greatly increase sexual stamina and improve distance on ejaculations, while reducing the volume of ejaculate and the quality of erections when taken to excess. Masturbating to glamour porn for half an hour without ejaculating can actually increase libido and energy and doesn’t interfere too much with taking care of business. Like taking a power nap this can energize you without leading to depression, guilt, and anxiety later.
    Like crack or alcohol, porn is all about that first hit/drink. I can be stressed out and when I watch those first couple video clips I sink into a profoundly altered state of consciousness. I’m tingling all over and excited while at the same time completely at peace, possibly even drifting onto the edge of sleep only to be woken into a frenzy of jerking by the edit into the next scene. I know how to cut it off at one or two beers to avoid the negative effects of alcohol. If only I could be content with that one hit, not desperately trying to get the magic back going for many hours until I lose my erection. I think that watching a video or two with only a couple strokes here and there could be a harmless thing to do when getting ready to go out on a Friday night. A magazine is like a cup of coffee whereas those lightning fast edited compilations set to music with the sex sounds left on the audio track are like injecting cocaine.
    The worst thing about pornography addiction is that when you try to seek help people say that porn isn’t the problem. I earnestly reached out to a friend about my emotional turmoil and he actually recommended that I watch porn. I have had a lot of bad experiences with women which have turned me into an ultra jaded and cynical woman hater, but I do wonder if I might not meet nicer women and have better interactions with women if I fully got off the porn. I would assume that my self respect would shine through and that they would be more inclined to treat me with respect.
    Can anybody recommend a forum for more regular support with this? This afternoon I wrote on a piece of paper “Sunday May 4th is the start” (hopefully the last time I ejaculated to Internet porn) and I deleted all the porn traces from my computer. I was almost set up to put my magazines in a garbage bag and take them to the dump the other day, but then I lost my nerve as it felt like throwing away a photo album. There were so many memories associated with those (pathetic I know). Then I thought “no I should use the magazines more and just stay off the Internet”. There’s always a way to rationalize putting it off.

    1. Sean Russell

      James,
      Thank you so much for sharing this and sorry for the late response I was on Vacation.
      You are a smart man, but not weak for being so deep into the addiction of porn. It is terrible that people grow up on this and start watching when they are 13, the almost cannot function without it.
      For me, the most important thing is “why” you are not watching porn. After a year of quitting I went back to it (wasnt having sex at the time) and it really opened my eyes that I do not care if it has a negative effect o my brain, and if I want I can watch it. But I dont WANT to watch it, because it I was to be the best I can be, get beautiful women, and live an extra-ordinary life. My biggest fear is being like everybody else.
      After a whole year, defining that “why” has changed everything. Find your “why” and you will succeed.
      I hope you find the strength or situation in your life to find peace and happiness.
      And please come back and find comfort here whenever. I will have a forum here in the next 3 month for this exactly.
      Thank you.
      Sean

      1. James Sampson

        Thanks for your reply. While I have gone longer without watching porn in the past, I feel like my mind is already less preoccupied with it this time. I do have a good “why” this time. Looking for career advancement and to move to another country. I can’t be wasting time shutting myself off from the world and becoming more socially awkward. Being better with women is a goal, but I think that it might work to my advantage that I’m not making this my primary goal. I’ve been trying to be more assertive and I am certainly more confident if I am not using. It’s about spirituality, control, self respect, and making the most of my time. With other attempts I set a date for the next time I would allow myself to watch porn and I found that it would only lead to great anticipation counting down the days until I would go back to my old ways. This time I just have the vague notion of “at least two months”, but I have invested a great deal of my sense of self in this new endeavor to the point where I was having nightmares where I thought that I had fallen off the wagon. I had some good dreams about girls that I had a crush on when I was young too. So far I have way more energy and I am getting out a lot more. I think that people are responding to me better, but it might just be my imagination. Things might get challenging right now as it looks like I will be laid off for a bit.

        1. Sean Russell

          James,
          All good points and I think you are on the right track except for setting a date to start watching again. In my case this is a lifestyle decision that I plan on sticking to for the rest of my life. I think setting the goal of 2 months is counter productive because it inclines you to always go back and it is still a part of your life. I would like to see you make a decision to remove it from your life forever.

          1. James Sampson

            Yeah, probably better to never go back. I guess that I had just set that as a date for when I could say that I had achieved something because the TED Talk set that length of time for the older men’s brains to recover and because it was far enough in the future to make it feel less like “using moderation” and more like a lifestyle change. Who knows how I will feel after two months. If the good feelings that I have now increase I can’t really see wanting to go back to it. I have been just trying to get excited imagining how my life might improve externally in personal relationships and success and internally with no sense of guilt or loss of control. I’m just trying to observe feelings of anxiety, boredom, and laziness and let them pass momentarily rather than getting overwhelmed and giving up. I had times with the addiction where I would start at midnight and go past dawn. I think that it is a good strategy just to sleep things off and have a fresh start bright and early if things seem to be falling apart by the end of the day. I try to tell myself “what could be simpler that that?”.

          2. James Sampson

            I haven’t been having too much trouble for the most part, but I have gotten some brief but intense cravings, which led to a borderline hallucination last night. I figured that I would check out an online dating site. I saw a little thumbnail profile picture and thought that one showed an exposed breast. I mindlessly and habitually clicked it before realizing that my brain was just trying to recreate the experience and that the notion of such a picture being allowed on the site was ridiculous.

          3. Sean Russell

            It is amazing how powerful the lure is.

          4. James Sampson

            I’ve been off it for almost 1 1/2 months now and I would say that this has been a very worthwhile endeavor. It’s quite easy when you set your mind to it.
            I have told a few people about this and they will either be in an obvious state of denial, saying that porn is good for them (because it “removes toxins” or whatever justification they can dream up) or they will say that what I am doing is so difficult that they would never attempt it.
            I have experienced some improvement in all the expected areas. These are subtle, yet I highly doubt that they are placebo. Porn is the complete opposite of subtle. Part of giving it up is learning to appreciate subtle pleasures again and to realize that while the joys that you can get out of an authentic life seem elusive at the start, but then you lose yourself in an experience and realize that something profound has just occurred. I have experienced improvements in mental health, physical health, spirituality, career, social relationships, and romantic relationships. To those who would say “the proof is in the pudding”. I haven’t had a bunch of women throwing themselves at me (although one or two who I highly suspect were interested) and I haven’t had sex or even a kiss in the month and a half. I do think that women are looking at me differently though and that if I had the nerve to approach some of them they would have responded positively. I went downtown last Friday and felt like my self respect was radiating outwards even in nightclubs, which can be a desperate and degrading atmosphere. When I was watching porn I was very ashamed of my sexuality. I would be thinking “I don’t deserve to get with this woman. I’m a pervert. She knows I’m a pervert”. Now I feel more “justified” in looking at women. I do look more and longer and not just because this is now my only opportunity to witness the female form.
            I have much less shame and regret and I have a lot more time and energy.
            Rather than causing a decline in aspects of sexual performance (eg., stamina), this is helping me to regain some of my youthful vigour and to channel and control sexual energy. Last night I was able to bring myself to orgasm with only a stationary hand placed on my penis for feedback on my pulse. It was 99% mental and far superior to “whacking off”. This disproves some of the ultra-reductionistic beliefs of our current academic culture which claims that consciousness only follows and never leads and that we don’t have free will.
            I had a bit of a setback, although not of the type that I had expected. I got into an ethical dilemma and when I had to make a quick decision I took the easy way out rather than doing the right thing. I thought “I’m a good boy now because I don’t watch porn. I wasn’t intending to harm anybody. I don’t want to have a guilty conscience anymore. I thought that I had won the final battle.” I did learn a great deal about myself with this incident and avoided external punishment. (It wasn’t anything terrible, but I did cost somebody some money and headache.)

          5. Sean Russell

            Great update James, I am glad to hear this has helped you. Time to move onto the other areas of your life!

  37. Zach

    HI, Im zach, Im 19 and I have to say wonderful article. Before reading this i saw shit loads of porn. Now that i read it i’m a changed person. Thanks Sean!

    1. Sean Russell

      Nice Zach,
      The most important thing is “why” you are not watching porn. After a year of quitting I went back to it (wasnt having sex at the time) and it really opened my eyes that I do not care if it has a negative effect o my brain, and if I want I can watch it. But I dont WANT to watch it, because it I was to be the best I can be, get beautiful women, and live an extra-ordinary life. My biggest fear is being like everybody else.
      After a whole year, defining that “why” has changed everything. Find your “why” and you will succeed.
      Thanks man
      Sean

  38. Vanessa Ray

    After I originally commented I appear to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on each time a comment is added I get four emails with the same comment. Perhaps there is a way you are able to remove me from that service? Many thanks!

  39. sebb

    Hey, great article! but I cannot stop fapping, and I just back to porn again:/ damm. Im 25 years old, I dont know how can I get out from that addicted. I began my daily, when I fapp and when and when fap/porn. : (1=1 day, 2=2 days)
    1 week: 2 times fap
    2 week: 1 fap, 1 sex
    3 week: 1 fap/porn
    4 week: 1 fap
    5 week: 2 fap/porn
    5 week: (now) 2 fap/porn
    maybe you have some advice for me? thanks!

    1. Sean Russell

      Sebb,
      The most important thing is “why” you are not watching porn. After a year of quitting I went back to it (wasnt having sex at the time) and it really opened my eyes that I do not care if it has a negative effect o my brain, and if I want I can watch it. But I dont WANT to watch it, because it I was to be the best I can be, get beautiful women, and live an extra-ordinary life. My biggest fear is being like everybody else.
      After a whole year, defining that “why” has changed everything. Find your “why” and you will succeed.
      Thanks man
      Sean

    2. James

      Can you seriously call it an addiction if you only do it once or twice a week? When I hear “I can stop masturbating” I literally picture someone who masturbates every day until he hurts so much that he can’t do it anymore. THAT is what I consider an addiction. Sebb, masturbating once or twice a week, is considered natural and healthy (unless you’re the religious sort). Heck, having sex only once or twice a week is considered too little.
      Your body needs to release. If you aren’t having sex often enough to release that feeling, then masturbate. It’s natural. Once or twice a week is totally natural. You don’t even NEED porn to do it. Let your imagination run wild! One more point: if you completely stop masturbating, your body will still get the release it needs. Just be prepared to wake up in the middle of the night to a bed full of cold wet semen, every so often.
      If it’s so natural that your body does it for you while you aren’t even conscious, then don’t freak out about it. What you’re experiencing isn’t sick or addiction. It’s called being human.

  40. Jay

    I might also add that watching too much porn affects the brain. The way you look at women anywhere is more then a sex symbol and nothing else. Everytime you see one makes you feel like you want to have bang her and leave her and do all the sexual acts that you saw in porn videos e.g make her swallow your cum, public sex, and all other bizarre things that you couldn’t perform in real life.
    All of this is the cause and effect of watching porn, to be honest I’m a bit of into porn myself but I couldn’t stand porn like bestiality, hardcore porn, and bizarre porn that you can see in Japanese porn videos.
    I’m more like in Handjob scenes and nothing more, because there is nothing immoral with Handjobs, unlike sex or any other acts mentioned above.
    Every bit of words in this article are facts and for those porn addicts out there, please at least lay low and get out there and get real woman, have a wonderful relationship and eventually you will get sex and forget all the porn world. I know this is easier said than done but it can be done if you just put the effort of approaching women, befriending them just don’t get drunk with porn all day.

  41. Demarius

    I just learned about no fap recently. I am young and have been masturbating since I could remember. I always felt like masturbating has prevented me from being socially confident, especially in front of girls. I really hope this thing works out for me in that department. That;s the only reason why I am doing it. I have been doing No Fap since May 4, 2014 and can say that I already see a little improvement in my focus and sense of direction in life. I hope for more improvement. Especially with the ladies. Im surprised that I have lasted this long to be honest.

    1. Sean Russell

      Demarius,
      Thanks for sharing nd commenting. After a year of no porn (not No Fap) I went back and watched porn again. It was a humbling experience because it reminded me that I quit watching porn not because I thought it was bad for me, but mainly because I didn’t want to be that person. I want to be someone who is different and lives an extraordinary life. Porn has no place in that.
      I think they “why” factor is so important.

      1. Jay

        I gotta be honest with you Sean, we can’t avoid pornography unless we get rid of both the internet or the porn industry itself but that won’t happen in million of years. I guess what we can do is simply learn the social arts, learn what is women, and then love them for whom they really are.
        To be honest, I’m sick of watching porn and I keep thinking to myself “does watching porn help me with anything?” of course not, it makes you weak, pathetic, and most of all it makes you a social retard, how? because we were sitting in front of our monitors, watching porn all day, masturbating and the world has left us behind while some guys were already having hundreds of sex.
        So what I’m really saying is that – we should start going out, learning the fundamentals, socialize, renew ourselves and start making friends, start approaching women and forget porn valley.
        Cheers

  42. Sean Russell

    Marcus,
    Good point, this article is not for everyone – but some guy really need it.

  43. B

    Hey guys, I am on board with all the benefits of quitting porn. I feel better/experience things more vividly/etc. BUT whenever I take a hiatus and then find myself with a lady, my stamina is zilch. As in, I don’t last long AT ALL before finishing. So I take to porn to increase my endurance. This has happened a few times. Any ideas?

    1. Sean Russell

      I definitely understand that. Porn numbs you to real women, so getting that sensitivity back can be a problem. There are exercises and practices you can do to help this. Check this article out: http://www.menprovement.com/multi-orgasmic-man/.
      Also I think the solution lies in time and practice with women and not resorting back to porn. Going back will never take the issue away.

  44. detektyw chrzanow

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  45. CodyHjort

    turn 18 in a few months, been addicted for about a year and a half now this will be my firs day porn free and i hope i can continue being porn free for the rest of my life

    1. Sean Russell

      Me too Cody,
      Goodluck. One important tip is to strongly define your reason for quitting. That has helped me immensely. And don’t be afraid to fail the first few times. It happens.

  46. Jere Boughan

    Copies of “Guerrillas: Journeys In the Insurgent World” is available on Amazon.com for one cent, plus shipping.

  47. Sarah

    Just for information, to the men that say “how can I learn to give a girl an orgasm without watching porn?”
    PLEASE LISTEN – Porn does not teach guys to give orgasms! The stuff that you see in porn is NOT what makes women orgasm!
    Porn is filmed to show the action better, and it’s designed for male fantasies, and has NOTHING to do with a girl getting off!!!!! The girls in porn are ACTING.
    If you actually want your girl to orgasm, and to continue having sex with you, ASK HER WHAT SHE LIKES!
    Or get some sex education books! Or search google for questions and answers from people trying to get there girls off!
    To sum it up, watching a man abuse and humiliate and use a female body in a porn has NOTHING to do with female orgasms or making a girl EVER want to be with you

    1. Sean Russell

      Thank you so much for that Sarah,
      Guys need to hear it.

    2. James

      This is a very good point. I can’t stand when people try to justify watching porn for these reasons, and then defending why they watch porn by using these reasons. My wife and I watch porn on occasion, because we found it brings a different feel to our sex life, but we don’t always watch it. I am under no illusion that I can learn how to please my wife by watching porn, however, and nobody should be.
      And for those of you guys that say “how am I supposed to learn how to please a woman without porn?” I direct you another question: How have men been able to please the women they’ve been with for thousands of years before porn even existed? It’s ackward, yes, but learn for yourself! It’s actually MORE fun that way!

  48. Sadye Nacisse

    3) The government will ensure that the media will function as a constructive tool.

  49. miike

    This is my first month of finally deciding to stop masturbation/porn addiction.. but I’ve failed a couple of time nd I always feel bad about it.. Please share some more tips

    1. Sean Russell

      It hard Mike,
      What helped me was:
      1) define a clear why to quitting porn, and not just because its bad for me. When you want to do something but feel like you can’t, it makes it so much harder not too. Really thinking about why I wanted to stop helped me realize that I can watch porn whenever, but that’s not who I want to be. So I no longer want to. (that realization took a year and a relapse)
      2) Being with women or having a GF always helps.
      3) Try to stay busy
      Hope this offered some insight, good luck with everything man.

  50. Flow

    Bro is there any solid ways you suggest to coping with the witdrawal (literally 2days after i stopped i xame down with a major sore throat and fever), handling relapses (i went 13weeks nofap and porn free had great sex with a good friend of mine and somehow within a couple weeks found nyself scrolling thru bikini pics and in no time almost subconsciously next thing i know i had my lotion out rubbing one down to a vid), and tips for bringing in life changes and managing time better especially as a college student.I started this whole thing because I had two Miss Florida pageant models gorgeous women on teo occassionall in bed with me and couldnt get hard, took sometime to reboot and figured out my daily sessions of porn numbed me so bad I couldnt get hard unless a chick was gagging with something in her mouth..sad existence. I could not to miss out on life because of this. A lot of people brush this off “as its pathetic for a dude to let this rule him like that”. Yes it is. But it is also the reality of TONS of men today little do you know. Please answer my questions and provide some clear assistance. We can do this.

    1. Sean Russell

      Whats up Flow,
      Two miss Florida pageants, well done. But yes, this is more of a problem than any man wants to admit.
      What helps me from relapsing (I still get urges) is to:
      1) define a clear why to quitting porn, and not just because its bad for me. When you want to do something but feel like you can’t, it makes it so much harder not too. Really thinking about why I wanted to stop helped me realize that I can watch porn whenever, but that’s not who I want to be. So I no longer want to. (that realization took a year and a relapse)
      2) Being with women or having a GF always helps.
      3) To get through withdrawal, there is not much to say except try and stay busy to keep your mind off it.
      Hope this offered some insight.
      Thanks man

  51. R

    Hi there
    I just wanted to say that i’ve decided to break up with my boyfriend who i love and get along with so well, just because although we are in a long term, loving , sexy relationship it appears he won’t stop watching porn. it bothered me at first and then i just decided to turn the other eye and just be ignorant of it. what i don”t know won’t hurt me and i thought of not taking it personally. Guys need release and they are much more visual than girls.. but tonight i decided there must be guys out there who dont watch porn, especially when they have a girlfriend who is lovely, sexy and has fun in the bedroom. i guess i just want you guys to know that watching porn, however little can ruin a relatiotnship. My boyfriend doesnt know yet that i’m about to break up over this but i know him well and he’ll think i’ve got major issues and need to grow up- that all guys watch porn.. but i have male friends who dont. i even know guys who don’t even like it! but wish me luck, cause i know the guy who doesn’t watch porn is few and far between!

      1. R

        Awesome!? Sean, it’s anything but awsome. It’s really, really sad. He and I have the best relationship apart from this issue (of course it’s not all plain sailing, but we’ve worked through so much and getting on beautifully until this issue) and I’m about to lose someone I love deeply and get along with more than I have with anyone else and have no choice but to move away because he watches porn and to me, it feels almost as hurtful as cheating as he needs sexual satisfaction from others apart from me. He claims it does nothing for him; yet he won’t give it up. Finding the strength to leave him over this is killing me. What makes it even harder is how much society is accepting porn now as just something guys do and that girls should just accept this. No one talks about how addictive it is and how it takes you away from reality. I’ve watched porn in my life- when i was single and younger or when i had a very part-time relationship. I started seeing people and scenarios outside of it as if I were in a porn movie! Sexually objectifying and thinking all the time. It’s not healthy!
        Someone showed me this link the other day and it made so much sense to me. I’m not religious so not the religious aspect but most of what this guy says makes a lot of sense Check it out (from 4.23 before that’s all testimonials) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyBshH5bEvo

        1. Sean Russell

          R, Sorry I did not mean that your situation was awesome at ALL.
          I meant awesome comment to really show guys how their loved ones feel. Sorry for the confusion.
          I am very sympathetic to your situation and hope everything works out for you.
          I will check that video out later.
          Thanks,
          Sean

          1. R

            Thanks Sean 🙂
            I thought that’s what you meant but I guess I wanted to just magnify how un ‘awsome’ the whole situation is but glad to know you were happy with my comment. and yes, do watch the video – I think it might help some guys on here perhaps..

        2. James

          R, how can you say that you truly love him? I understand that you feel like he’s cheating on you when he watches porn, but it is possible for a man to watch porn and be loyal the one he loves. My wife and I have been together for 9 years now, have a great sex life, are completely loyal to eachother, and are extremely happy, and yet we both watch porn on occasion.
          Loving someone (truly and completely loving someone) means accepting them for who they are. Don’t lie to yourself and lie to him, if you can’t accept him for who he is. I’m sure you love him, and are at the least in lust with him, but if your relationship is truly going that well, and you’re going to end it over porn, then you clearly don’t love him for who he is.
          My father (as far as I know, and I believe I am right) never watched porn, yet he physically abused my mother nearly every day until I went to college and they got a divorce. Not watching porn doesn’t make you a good person, and watching porn doesn’t make you a bad person. The addressing issue of this post should be addiction, not moderation.
          I suggest taking a step back, and thinking long and hard about what you’re about to do. It may be the right decision, but you may end up regretting it for the rest of your life. I know for a fact that if I broke up with my wife before we were married because of ONE of her vices that I didn’t agree with, I would have missed out on years of bliss!
          Be honest with yourself, and think hard.

          1. hannah

            James
            I’m sorry but I disagree. If you truly love someone you’re going to commit yourself fully to that person which is what it sounds like this girl was doing but he was not. You should not have to accept someone who is mentally checking out for some unrealistic thing and not caring about your best interest. And yes you can say you are loyal but honestly how can you say you’re loyal when you are committing a sexual act and thinking about another woman? That is not being loyal mentally or emotionally. Now if you are both fine with it that might be one thing but if one person isn’t then that’s a form of cheating.

    1. POET

      So many beautiful women, so lonely , trapped in a body that men worship.
      The blinding light of a well crafted exterior that hides an inner beauty that needs to be known.
      We showcase them like trophies while we don’t see the tears of their sensitive hearts.
      Alas my princess I hold out my arms to offer you a genuine hug .
      I see past what is mere superficiality . Those eyes and that sweet smile that comforts my soul.
      You are a gem on the outside but a diamond with in. Your hearts glowing radiance ignites mine.
      The fire that ignites the passion beyond imagination .
      I want to peer deeply into your soul and penetrate you beyond your widest dreams.
      The orchestra of love plays relentlessly while we dance on the delicate Lillie’s.
      toward that eventual climatic moment resulting in a deeply satisfying love that binds stronger than any glue .

    2. Emeralds

      Hi R
      I’m in the same situation. I am breaking up with my boyfriend because of porn. We’ve been together nearly 4 years and have just moved in together which makes it harder.
      I caught him in the act yesterday once again. Must be near on 10 times I’ve caught him or found evidence of extreme porn. Last time I said I can’t deal with it anymore and pretend I’m ok with it. He sort of said ok he’ll sort it but here we are.
      The worst thing is, I caught him yesterday an I stormed off and had a bath. He didn’t bother following, he made sure he had his happy ending then left the dirty tissue on our sofa. and we were expecting our friends and goddaughter within the hour. He hasn’t spoken to me since, nor have I spoken to him. He is not sorry and does not see it being an issue.
      I’ve told him to find somewhere to sleep tonight and tomorrow, as I have family over tomorrow daytime. Then tomorrow evening we will discuss what to do about our flat we rent and the kitten he persuaded us to get.
      I keep thinking I’m being irrational. All guys watch porn? But I have to remember how low it makes me feel. How much is damaged my self esteem, and how I compare myself to the girls in the videos, to the point it feeds my eating disorder more and more.
      Stay strong R, let me know how things are x

  52. David

    I was actually searching for porn when I stumbled o this article. I’ve been trying to stop for a while now but something keeps pulling me back. Hopefully this article can help me take the first permanent step.

  53. Not Me

    I think a lot of men in relationships turn to porn because their partners aren’t that interested in sex. I’m not saying its the women’s fault but there may be a big mismatch between libido.

  54. John

    This is so true. Unfortunately, I am rather addicted to porn (I am gay but everything you have written applies perfectly except the “woman” part. It is the same thing). I really struggle to quit it, I am very aware of the damage porn does to me, to my mind, my dick and to society – not to mention the people in the porn industry.
    Unfortunately, just reading about internet porn makes me think of … porn. :-/
    I am ashamed and I feel disgusted. I totally agree – REAL men stay in control. Real men live in the flesh and not in front of a computer and a lube tube.

    1. Sean Russell

      Yes John it is hard but it is not your fault. But it is now up to you to change.

  55. Bertil Svensson

    I don’t agree with you at all. Porn is superiour because women today are bitches. They bitch, they yell, they demand and for what? 18 years of hell?
    You can get yourself a fuck budy but not a wife or girlfriend.

    1. James

      In our society today, women are encouraged to speak their minds. The way a woman’s brain is wired, they are already more emotional (in most cases) than men. Combine these two, and a lot of women give off an aura of seeming “bitchy.” Now, that usually stems from how you treat them, however. If you are polite to a woman, treat her with respect, give her your full loyalty and love, she should return them to you. If she doesn’t, then it’s true that she’s not someone you want as a wife.
      If you feel like your relationship is hell, then it’s an incompatible relationship. It doesn’t mean that you can never find a woman you’re compatible with, though. Dating is a crucial part, and in today’s day and age, is often rushed. People get married too soon, and end up in crappy marriages. As the years progress, then learn how un-alike they are. I dated my wife for 5 years before we got married. It’s not because I had commitment issues, and it wasn’t because we were afraid. We had talked about it, and we wanted to make sure we fully knew eachother before marriage. Let me tell you, I learned a lot about my wife that I didn’t know, during those first 5 years, and I still learn more today.
      We’ve been happily married for 4 years now, and yes we have ups and downs, as every couple does, but I truly and deeply love her, and she feels the same. Our marriage is built on trust and cooperation.
      I feel like you are recently divorced, but I encourage you not to keep this frame of thought. Someday, you’ll run into a woman that would be a perfect match for you, but if you keep a closed mind, then nothing will ever come from it, and you’ll continue being alone.
      I’m not telling you to stop watching porn, of course, as my wife and I occasionally watch it. I just feel like you would be happier in the long run if you took a less shallow view towards women. Treat her like you want to be treated. Don’t expect a woman to be kind and loving towards you if you sit there and call her a bitch.

  56. cherry popper

    50 reasons y it’s better, it never gets pregnant, it only costs $50 a month, it never says no, it never bleeds and ruins your $5000 mattress, it never gives an excuse, it never takes half your money in the end, it never fucks w your emotions, it never lies, it never steals, it never breaks your stuff, its always accountable, you can share it w your friends, it never lands you in jail, or ruins your car, it cant get jealous, it always lets you have sex w her sister, it never grows old, its never gets LOOSE, Farts, or stops mid way when it hears a noise, it never stays around long after, it never puts you on the spot, it never blackmails you for something before or after, it never talks shit about you, it never smells bad, it never needs cleaning, it never nags or complains, it never can kill or hurt you, it never gives you any shit, it never lies, you never have to care for it, protect it, console it, or ever feed it, its pure freedom, it never needs a house, a new kitchen, car or what ever, its never awkward, insecure, embarrassed, or indecisive, it’s not judgmental, it will always do what you ask, it never wastes your time, it never thinks love will last past the ejaculation, it will never feel you owe it something, it will never be rape or statutory rape, it will never tell you what to do, it never will try to control or change you, it never gets in the way of your future or tries to influence you to do or not to do anything you want,
    it’s the best teacher of what the pussy looks like, it’s never awkward, insecure, embarrassed, or indecisive, it’s not judgmental, it will always do what you ask, you never have to watch it die or become turned off by it, it will always be faithful, it will never cheat or hate you, it will always love you… it absolutely better for all males,

    1. Chris G.

      Why not just admit you had a very bad marriage. It happens .

    2. James

      Porn is definitely the only wife (or husband) you should ever have. I can’t imagine you are very kind to other human beings, so a computer is probably your perfect mate anyway.
      It is sad to me, however, that given your point of view, you will not be able to bond with someone on a deep level.

  57. Chris G.

    Very interesting article. However no one seems to talk about the ridiculous obsession with the genitals in porn. You say that porn has every imaginable fantasy? I don’t think so. no matter how many beautiful women they find 90% of it is CLOSE UPS. you see the woman briefly. Porn is not about beautiful women. It is about men who actually feel proud to be like ANIMALS who are only turned on by the sight of genitals
    I personally like to get off sometimes by watching that very rare to find porn where you at least see the complete woman. But no i do not prefer porn over real sex. I crave the intimacy and the physical touching you cannot get with porn.

    1. Sean Russell

      Very interesting thought. And I agree.
      That’s great that you prefer the intimacy of real sex over porn, because so many guys are the opposite. Thanks for the input Chris.

  58. I disagree. Enjoying real sex should not and in fact does not entail that a man may go out of his way to impress and seduce a woman. You should attract your opposite, most needed energy-vibe effortlessly, and without renouncing your favorite lifestyle. This means that, contrary to what this article says, the more you man give in to your deviant, deep perverted fantasies, the more easily you will cut straight to the chase in real life and find a like-(dirty)-minded woman who resonates naturally with you. I can personally attest to that. I don’t buy the Darwinian crap of propagating your genes, and displaying the fanciful expensive suit, Rolex watch, sleek car and other icons of “success”, like a peacock displaying its feathers. Sex is just energy we need like food, so let’s do away with the crap, and with the farce. But of course for this to happen the whole power structure of society would need to go away. Sometimes I think that 9/11 was in fact perpetrated by the secret government (the Illuminati) and falsely blamed on “Islamic terrorists” just in order to keep loudmouths like me, who have zero tolerance for hypocrisy and tell it like it is, from flying safely to the US, without fear of harassment or interrogation by Homeland Security or the like, and from continuing to get (and give) the sex we need. (I am most attracted to American girls, and have memories of great, awesome sex with them, sex that I now miss so sorely). Politics –and perhaps some fear of STDs- is what has kept me for many years from getting it on, not porn.

  59. I wanted to add these lines while watching the 2013 movie “Don Jon”, about a hunky guy who is addicted to porn and actually prefers it to the real thing. It’s been now over ten years since I last had real sex. That’s right. TEN YEARS. The time I’ve been away from the States since I last returned from Oregon to my home country of Spain in April 2004. A few years after that, I opened my (new) website, where I shoot my mouth off about what really happened on 9/11, and I have been afraid of returning to the States since, fearing harassment by Homeland Security or the like. I am mostly attracted to American girls, the girls I had that real (and so memorable) sex with when I was in the US. But I am not returning to the US now because I am not closing my website or toning it down to please the US authorities. The bottom line is that I’ve had to go without real sex for a very long time. I could go without porn too –I guess-, but then inevitably I would end up with a more or less involuntary nocturnal emission. Such a nocturnal emission would compel me to inflict on myself a “penance” period of two nights. During that self-inflicted “penance” I do not allow myself the full, ordinary, little pleasures of life, including reading my favorite books. I am not religious or Catholic, although I was raised Catholic (like the porn-addicted protagonist of the movie “Don Jon”). It is no use trying to argue away the perceived need for that self-inflicted penance period on the grounds that it’s just a totally self-imposed manic obsession, the relic of my Catholic upbringing with its guilt complex; or even that a nocturnal emission is (generally) involuntary. I MUST go through my self-inflicted post-ejaculatory penance because anything that comes after ejaculation is a small fall from grace. It is the curse of being a man. So, since I have to go through that post-ejaculatory penance, at least I will give myself the pleasure of masturbating willfully to porn, which also happens to be a form of witchcraft, amplifying the energy pulse sent out to the universe in search of like-minded perverts of the opposite sex. I only try to come to porn once a week, though, twice at the most. But I still need it. And this may continue being so until the security restrictions at the US border and across the country are rolled back to their more reasonable pre-9/11 levels.

    1. Sean Russell

      Interesting read and interesting philosophies. Everyone is different and at the end of the day it all comes down to personal choice. Could you not have sex with women outside the US?

      1. Yes, I can, and I am more than open to it! However, for a long-lasting relationship to work with an American girl, I would of course at some point have to travel to the US to visit her family. I also don’t like the bar scene in Spain, or at least I no longer have the energy, or the mood, to lose night sleep –feeling wasted the day after- and go through the silly rounds in order to get laid. I take care of myself, I like to work out hard (I have even taken part in athletic races) and I want to give my best at work during the day: that is intrinsically incompatible with a nightlife. For me it’s best to meet and befriend a like-minded person whom I naturally may bump into during the day, but that takes time, and Spanish culture has traditionally been very slow when it comes to dating (although things have changed a lot over the past decade). Also, it might interest readers of your website that one porn actress (who is now retired –I think-), and one porn director have in the recent past written to me, in reply to messages I had sent them. They were actually nice, although strictly professional. However, my mother’s Catholic morals will not permit my developing a relationship with a(n acting or retired) porn actress, let alone my taking part in a porn flick. I know because I have asked her…

        1. Sean Russell

          You should check out daygame.com – A site dedicated to meeting girls in regular places during the day – All around the world.
          And it works.

  60. Silvana Heitner

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  61. Alejandro Robles Gandarilla

    This article is RIGHT on the money.
    It has changed my way of thinking on this subject if not a little a lot!
    Thank You.

  62. Qualified

    I’m 20 now and I’ve used porn since early high school. The negative symptoms were as usual – loss of energy, less satisfaction during sex. But over the years my ability to concentrate has decreased and I feel less ambitious. In addition I now have a bald spot (maybe just from an ingrown hair) and the skin on my hands has started peeling. Overall I feel like I’m slowly dying while my life is supposed to be moving forward.
    I know what I need to do to quit porn and end my addiction, yet I still have this problem and it seems like it is killing my high expectations for life.

    1. Sean Russell

      It hard my friend. I know this.
      But you can do it. Anyone can do it – Just keep chipping away and accept failures if they come, but just try again. Eventually, even if its three years from now you can be done with it. Think big picture.

  63. aeroporika

    I like it when individuals come together and share opinions. Great website, keep it up!

  64. Ben G

    Am I the only guy who tried porn and didn’t like it???

  65. Ruben

    Hi Sean,
    Thanks for your article, you said the right things to convince me to stop watching porn. I have a girlfriend for three years now and from the moment we started our relationship, I’ve been honest with her that I watch porn but I told her I only did only very rarely. Meanwhile I tried to stop many times, but I never made it over a month. A month ago I confessed to my girlfriend that I watched porn 1 or 2 times a week and she was pretty shocked (which is understandable). When I saw her reaction and how much my porn addiction hurt her I was convinced to stop watching porn. I googled and came to your article. Have done my first month without porn now (happy!) and still dedicated to never return. I’ve had some hard moments and my girlfriend doesn’t really know how to deal with my grown sex drive yet, but we will get there. On the other hand I feel so much more motivated to undertake other activities and I’m so full of life again that compensates for everything. Again, thanks man!

    1. Sean Russell

      Thats awesome to hear Ruben! I wish you the best with everything.

    2. James

      Anything you do only once or twice a week is NOT an addiction. If I got drunk once or twice a week, I wouldn’t be considered an alcoholic. If I played video games once or twice a week, I wouldn’t be considered as “addicted to video games.” Any guilty pleasure you partake in only a few times a month is considered “moderation” and is completely healthy.
      If you feel dirty and gross because of the fact that you watch porn, then it is purely a moral issue, and by all means, avoid porn. Do not call it an addiction, though, because you are certainly NOT addicted. If you watched porn and masturbated one to two times a day (or usually quite a bit more) then, I’d agree that you have an addiction.
      So, not telling you to start watching porn again, but don’t label your reason for stopping as a problem you don’t even have.

      1. Jess

        It is if he or anybody tries to quit, but can’t.

  66. Elyse

    Thanks for posting this Sean! It was very refreshing to read.

  67. Tony

    Thanks for posting such a great article!

  68. Emeralds

    This is a great article. Wish my boyfriend would agree.
    We’ve been together for nearly 4 years and I have caught him with porn on so many different occasions, as well as porn chat sites. Even when he came to my family home he would watch it on the family laptop whilst I was at work and not delete the evidence! Time and time again I have told him it’s getting too much. I have been battling with an eating disorder and most of the time hate how’s look and compare myself to other girls/pornstars who he looks at. That’s my issue I know, and I made an appointment to see the drs. However we moved in together a month ago and his porn watching has either dwindled or he has become better at hiding it. I think it’s the latter as he now uses private browsing on his phone, spends a long time in the bathroom etc. I feel like I’m going crazy because every time I leave him alone I think he’s watching it. Last night I ran a bath and left my phone in our room. I went to get it and caught him red handed. Jacking off to porn. Before my bath he kept asking how long I was gonna be, and then came in to see if I was in the bath (which I wasn’t). This seemed really suspicious and I had a feeling it was so he could watch porn. It bothers me because we don’t have sex much anymore and I always want it! It has lowered my self esteem. The time before last (when I last caught him) I said to him this is it now, you know how it’s making me feel, it’s damaging my mental health and our relationship so if it affects our sex life again then that will be it. So I’m sticking to my word and ending the relationship. I deserve more than to be second best to porn!!
    Oh and one more thing, he even admitted to getting desensitized to porn, I found more and more disturbing videos, elderly ladies, midget, pregnancy porn as well as the ever popular extreme an*l.
    I wish it didn’t bother me but it does.
    Are there many guys out there who don’t watch a stupid amount of porn???

    1. Sean Russell

      Sorry to hear that Emeralds,
      It is a powerful thing and really controls some guys. Most guys watch a very stupid amount of porn. It has become a social norm which is dangerous, and each year more and more men are starting to take notice, especially since the generation that truly grew up on porn is only now in there 20’s.
      With the porn available now in super HD and ridiculously arrousing, 10 year olds growing up now on that daily are going to be in trouble when they are 30. Eventually something will break the camels back.

  69. john

    great article…..its my 7 day off no porn and masturbating….i feel my energy level is up and i exercise alot…..have been watching porn and masturbating since 12….im 28 now…..my sex life was great with my gf and i had good erections up until last month i noticed i had erectile problems…..read abt how porn and masturbating could cause be the possible cause…..i have decided to stop and its my 7 day of that…..but my problem now is i feel a little desensitve….dont get day hardness….and had morning erections only twice….is that normal in the recovery process?….want to get back to real sex after the 15 day…..wud i be good to go?…or a masturbating without porn can get my cock sensitive again……tanxs

    1. Sean Russell

      Definitely a part of the recovery process. You have done 16 years of desensitizing, you will need to be patient to reverse the damage done. I definitely think you should get back to real sex as soon as you want. Things will level out and your brain chemistry will work in new pathways to arousal through real sex and close the old ones that want porn. But be ready to crave porn hard at times.
      You’ll be good. Recovery is easier with a GF and an outlet for real sex.

  70. Nicky

    From a woman, I am very happy to read this.
    My story, I always felt inferior with men who looked at other women and especially those who commented about them or looked at porn. It is a logically a rejection to me as a woman, ‘as not enough’ to satisfy his cravings. It hurt me deeply every time any man ever did this, to the point where I could not take any more ‘soft betrayal’ from soft comments to hard porn, enough is enough.
    Then…
    I met a great guy who I admired and respected for he was a gentleman and we got along great. He talked very highly of me and so I assumed because he was smitten enough with me that lusting after another woman is not necessary and for once I could be comfortable and achieve intimacy with him – which he desired too. Then…
    I found out he looks at pics/porn…:( .
    I really felt for the first time I could be close, share and love on a deep level and 3 times the matter was ‘discussed’ or should I say ‘disgust’ he defended himself, and even accused me of trying to control his life. It hurt so much to finally meet someone that I thought could fulfill my needs and now I have no choice but to back off my love and connection with him. Even if I still see him and can block the fact he will still look at porn, I can’t respect or admire him to the level I did before. and I do not plan on being with him in the future, as I would have to always be the ‘woman among many women’ he lust after, and that is just too uncomfortable.
    Another guy I know actually lost his wife over his addiction to lusting after women and porn, and he is still upset to this day. He admitted to me after a few years knowing him that the real reason she divorced him was because of his porn problem.
    Thanks for speaking out the truth of how much it hurts and ruins the lives of men.

    1. Sean Russell

      Thanks for the insight Nicky. Sadly most guys you meet will watch porn because it is a social norm amongst men. But comments like this will help inspire more and more men to stop.

  71. your rational brain

    http://www.alternet.org/story/154266/why_porn_can_be_good_for_you_(and_society)
    I thought it would be good to have an adverse article posted here. the article has scientific sources as well.
    Im not against this article, but i believe that all things have two sides. I also own a porn website, and get thousands of emails a week from men and women thanking us for our service saying it helps them with their insecurities, relationships, and personal lives. (im not posting an url because this isnt meant to be promotional)
    I think all in all, it comes down to personal self control, and addictive personalities. both methods have pros and cons.
    On the ED subject… we get older. it happens to every man. random stiffies just dont happen as much when you get older

    1. Sean Russell

      Thats the beauty of the internet. Anyone can write their opinion and post it. This article is clearly my opinion, and I am very openminded to reading about the other side. I only read half that article (I am not home and it is long as all hell), but there first arguments about how “porn improved peoples lives until they tried to resist the urge to watch it” was less than convincing.
      Yes it definitely improves peoples lives in the moment. It’s amazing to watch and makes you super happy and relieved. It also relieves stress. But it’s like drinking, it’s fun but it does nothing to enhance your life past the moment. That is my beef with porn. It is immediate gratification over and over and over but once its not there it has provided you no benefits and typically many negatives such as addiction, withdrawals, insecurities & sexual numbness and inadequacy (for some).
      Some men can handle porn, some men are ruined by it even if they don;t know it. It all depends.
      But like I said, I am open minded and look forward to reading the rest of that article tomorrow and will post more feedback. But I always appreciate an opposing mindset.
      Thanks.

  72. Pia Louise

    Hello Guys – This is really eye opening to me. I am subscribed to this site because I work with men in fashion. That’s it. And at my age I really don’t care if you watch porn or not. I never thought about it…it’s kinda like you need oxygen and food and porn.
    I think at my age I just learned something neew…that I never considered before this article…yet I know someone who did indeed divorce over porn. Only one so what do I know. Think about this:
    Anything that interferes with a healthy relationship or friendship or even job/career is an addiction. So if you think or feel you have an issue please treat it as such. Otherwise a little porn if fine. A lot is …quite frankly boring to me but I”m a woman …an older woman not a milf or cougar..but what do I know!
    Thanks for the article and something to think about. Anything and everything is OK in moderation… And between 2 consenting adults. It’s sad when it is habitually just you and you. Cheers! @pialouisestyle

  73. George

    i stopped watching porn……..but can i masturbate watching television(not porn).