online dating friend zone

online dating friend zone

Question from a student:

Hey JD

I’ve grown so much since getting all your audio programs. Thanks! A Question for you –

I’m on a dating website, and a couple of girls I’ve messaged and seemed to hit it off with blew me off when I went for the date.

I said, “Hey – let’s take this offline, and meet for coffee. You should join me, it will be fun.”

And one girl never responded, and the other said, “I bet it would be fun – you seem like a fun guy. But just so you know, I don’t think I’d see you as much more than a friend….”

So, tell me – what am I doing wrong?

Thanks JD!

Les, NYC

JD’S Answer:

Hey Les

You are doing nothing wrong. In fact, you are doing things the right way.

Let me explain.

Online dating sites are – as you know – just a way to meet someone. You have to get them offline and in-person quickly if you ever want to progress.

If you’ve built a little rapport online – then YES – always go for the in-person date. Soon.

Why?

Because most guys are too shy or scared to even ask a girl out ON LINE. And they spend weeks, maybe months obsessing over their inbox and messaging with her. Hoping she’ll ask him out. And all they are doing is wasting valuable time.

The longer you stay online – the more you become an online buddy. The E-version of the friend zone.

If you spend a lot of time – especially with just ONE girl – you are wasting time and membership fees that could be used to talk to LOTS of other girls.

And lots of girls – lots of contacts in your online profile – is what you want.

Because not all of them are going to be interested in you.

Like the girl in your letter.

You did things right, and the outcome is going to be one of two things: either she agrees to meet you for coffee, or she lets you know to MOVE ON to ANOTHER WOMAN who may be INTERESTED IN YOU.

If you’ve built your profile to look like the way I teach guys to do it, and to include the stuff you need to include (and leave out some stuff too….) You will find plenty of women wo ARE interested in meeting you in-person.

Provided that you contact plenty of women.

Because they all aren’t going to be your type, and they all aren’t going to be interested…etc.

So what?

Find out who is – and who isn’t – by doing exactly what you did.

Suggest that you take the correspondence off-line and meet up for a cup of java.

Trust me – I’ve met a TON of women online. Some say yes, some say no. No harm, no foul.

And online you have the opportunity to refine and hone your “e-game”. Just because you may have “blown it” with this “one girl” doesn’t mean you’ll NEVER find another woman online.

There are literally millions signing up new everyday.

One of my simple strategies was to go online to my dating profile site, and once every two weeks, do a “search” for females, within 20 miles, aged 28-34, single, looking for love, etc….

Boom.

150 right there.

Send my little “HI” email to the ones I may be interested in, mentioning something in their profile that caught my eye or made them stand out, and play the game.

And this is just a SMALL part of your “game”.

Online should never EVER be your only source of interacting with women. The main reason being that even if you meet online, you STILL have to get with her in person, and you need to have experience and be prepared for in-person.

If you are no good with women in person, just because you met them online doesn’t mean you’re going to be good with them in person.

You still need to develop those skills.

The kind of skills I teach you.

Thanks for writing,

All the best –

JD

Incase you missed it:

Check out our tell all podcast episode: Online dating 101 – How to stand out in a  crowded niche, and learn how expert Chase Reeves absolutely crushes it in only dating.

Or learn how one guy set up a system to help any guy lose their virginity via online dating in one month.

And check out the 15 best dating apps to get you started.

1 COMMENT

  1. I have been talking to this woman online for two days, and I am starting to get the feeling that she has some insecurities about dating at all. She basically told me that she expects me to be there online with her every night. At this time, she has not viewed my profile once, and it all started with me saying a pickup line about my knowledge of a foreign language. I felt some kind of rapport online, and I know that it has potential for something greater. I was thinking about asking her out in response to clarifying a promise that I made her on our second night of talking. Would it be wise to ask her out on a no strings attached date?

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