Any manly dude that says he never cries during a movie is either not a man (and is probably a Google robot humanoid)…
Or he’s hiding his crocodile tears behind his giant bucket-o-popcorn.
Ladies and gentleman, this article is for both of you.
For the men: Crying doesn’t make you any less of a man. Here’s a quick wake up call – Vulnerability is sexy and huge turn on to any woman you are with. If you own it. Not being ashamed of who you are, or letting those tears run, shows that you truly are a confident man who is comfortable being who he is, in his own skin.
That’s it men, theres nothing crazy to write about on the subject, it is what it is. Be who you are, and own it. The rest of this article is for the ladies.
So ladies, please allow me to let you in on a little secret: manly men do most certainly cry during the movies.
However, if you want the strong dude in your life to “accidently bite into an onion” whilst sitting through The Notebook, you’re probably going to be disappointed. Why? Well, simply, men and women cry for different reasons. Men aren’t going to cry because two old folks decided to kick the bucket at the same time, holding hands. As adorably poetic as that is, men just don’t find this all that cry-worthy.
If anything, he’s probably thinking something like, “Wow. There’s no way that’s scientifically possible,” or “Their kids are going to Disneyland, because that life insurance policy JUST paid off.” Either that, or he just gave up watching altogether and decided to surf for car parts on his iPhone – because, those souped-up Fords don’t just build themselves.
Although, if he’s a good man, he’ll try to think about the day his favorite gerbil died when he was 12 to rustle up some tears – all to make you happy.
But, if you want to really see your dude bawl his eyes out unabashedly, then you’re going to have to think like a manly man.
What Makes Men Cry?
Men are strange creatures. Our minds are incredibly simplistic and ordered, yet sometimes we’re unpredictable and emotional.
The key is to realize that men’s minds are set up like a room full of boxes. Access the wrong box to incite weeping, and he’ll look at you funny, because, well, that just doesn’t make sense to him.
Access the right box – the box labeled “Deeply Emotional Stuff,” – however, and you’ve got him by the tear ducts. So how might you find such a box? Good question. Depends on the guy, but usually it has to do with the stuff he really, really believes in.
If you want to tug at his heartstrings, you need to get close to his heart.
The 2 Types of Tear Triggers
Men tend to cry for 2 main reasons: it’s either because they are really sad, or really, really happy.
For instance, there’s a vast difference between crying at the end of Schindler’s List, and crying at the end of Secondhand Lions (obviously).
The manliest of men have cried at the end of both …and I for one, am guilty as charged.
In Schindler’s List, you are taken on an emotional ride through desperation, feeling devastated by the end. Seeing grievous injustice on a personal level is likely in that “Deeply Emotional Stuff”-box.
On the other hand, Secondhand Lions made me laugh, sigh, jump for joy, and feel like a manly man – and yet I still cried at the end. Why? Well, it might have had something to do with the overwhelming happy feelings, because the little kid found a family of two legendary old dudes.
Isn’t that weird?
The Notebook: two old folks pass on via holding hands peacefully in a room. Verdict: not even an emotional sigh.
Secondhand Lions: two old folks die ‘with their boots on’ after attempting to fly a biplane through a barn upside-down. Verdict: I am inconsolable and can’t stop smiling.
Yeah, men are weird, but we have to relate to whatever movie is trying to make us cry.
You’ve Got to Wear Us Down
Love stories with little substance other than the romance aspect itself isn’t going to do the trick. These just don’t get our eyes misty –that’s just how it is.
On the other hand, if you add a pinch of family, adventure, courage, hope, and then batter us with these emotional ideals throughout the movie, and then at the end, you drop the emotional bomb of mortality and death on our newly tender hearts…
You’re going to need to bring a few rolls of paper towels.
A few great examples of this would be Forrest Gump, Gladiator, or even Up. (Yes, an animated Disney movie made me gush like it was nobody’s business.)
Those three movies carried us through several major, deeply emotional themes, spanning just about the entire emotional spectrum.
After a while, the movie will start to loosen up that ‘sensitivity reflex,’ and then, all it takes is a little push.
First, Forrest has an unbelievable life of accomplishment through his mother’s positive influence, then she passes away, and then Jenny dies, after their son is born. Whamo. I need tissues.
General Maximus (horrifically) loses his family, defies an emperor, and in death, meets his beautiful family again at the end after liberating Rome. Yeah, those are tears. And goose bumps.
You see Carl’s love story in the very beginning montage, and has an uplifting adventure to find himself again in the memory of his wife. I’m so happy that I began chopping onions and punching myself in the face. Ok, I admit, I am weeping like a child.
Hey, you can’t get a man to cry during a movie because of one or a few little emotional events. But if you wear us out over all two and a half hours, while playing on a whole range of emotions, then it won’t be long. I assure you.
And if there’s a man out there who didn’t cry during the series finale of Breaking Bad, after watching 60 hours of Walter White paving his road to hell with good intentions, then that man is made of stone.
All Strong, Good Men Cry
Your man might be all tough ‘n’ scruffy on the outside, but there’s a reason why he’s a good guy. It’s because he’s got a sensitive gooey core that just wants people to be happy.
So, if you’re tired of watching the men in your life check car part prices on their smartphones during the saddest tearjerker part of the movie, then hopefully these tips ought to bring out the sobbing teddy bear in the roughest of dudes.
And if your a dude who thinks you are too much man to cry at a worthy movie moment, wake up. Vulnerability is sexy, and being comfortable in your own skin is even more so.