When talking about self-esteem, the first thing that is in order is to explain the difference between self-esteem and self-confidence.
Self-esteem is our emotional and cognitive evaluation of our self-worth. On the other hand, self-confidence is the trust and faith we have in our abilities.
Self-confidence relies on our knowledge and past positive or negative experiences. As a result, a person can be very confident in their math skills and very insecure about their dancing skills.
Self-esteem greatly determines our relationship with ourselves and the world around us, including the way in which we choose a partner and how we work on our romantic relationships.
In the world of dating, self-esteem and self-confidence are inseparable. Having high self-esteem will lead men and women to look for a courageous partner who is on their level emotionally, physically, socially, culturally and financially.
High level of self-confidence stems from being popular and desirable. People with high self-esteem and self-confidence are more likely to find a partner they enjoy because they are rational about their expectations, and know that compatibility goes a long way.
As online dating trumps traditional dating on so many levels, people with high self-esteem and self-confidence are more likely to try their luck online or in any other non-traditional dating environment such as local chat line for instance.
But how does self-esteem play a role in choosing a partner, and where does the self-esteem necessary to succeed come from?
Behind The Theory of Self-Esteem
The definition of self-esteem differs widely depending on the part of the world in which we live. In the West, self-esteem is closely tied to personal accomplishments, while in the East it mostly depends on being accepted as part of the group.
The trouble with self-esteem that is based on personal accomplishments is that it promotes the fear of failure and success at all cost. Self-esteem that is based on acceptance of others isn’t without its shortcomings either because it implies conformity, which automatically limits options and choices.
In both cases, control over what drives our own self-esteem is limited, which can lead to anxiety and insecurity, among other things.
In many cases, self-esteem can be tied to social status and acceptance by a group. Such self-esteem is shaky and contingent upon external, often superficial factors, but it can still help when faced with anxiety or the unknown.
In general, people who have high self-esteem take risks and completely invest themselves in what matters. Even if they fail they know they gave it their all, and failure does not crush them. True self-esteem comes from within and does not require money, social status or achievement.
The Secret To High Self-Esteem
Problems with self-esteem usually go as far back as someone’s childhood, including neglect, separation and physical, mental or sexual abuse. Later in life, low self-esteem can stem from negative life events, such as illness, loss of a job, failed marriage or relationship, discrimination, and so on.
However, whatever the root cause of low self-esteem, there are tricks to improve it regardless of age or circumstance.
The single most important thing we can do to improve our self-esteem is not compare ourselves to others. Everyone is good at something, and nobody is perfect.
Even though it is tempting to measure our own success and self-worth against other people, it is fruitless because self-confident individuals don’t feel good about themselves when other people fail, and don’t feel bad when other people succeed.
Setting attainable goals and giving it our best to achieve them is certainly admirable, but striving for perfection can have a negative impact on our self-esteem. Coming to terms with our imperfections and those of other people can be a wonderful experience that can enrich our life, and teach us to be more accepting of ourselves and others.
Cultivating self-acceptance is key to high self-esteem, and it can be a breeze to achieve if we do the things we enjoy on a regular basis. Like to knit? Do it on the subway. Like to bake? Have your friends come over and join you in baking your favorite cake.
Self-Esteem and Romantic Life
When we feel good about ourselves we have a positive kind of glow that attracts other people in search of positive energy.
People feed off our good vibe and want to be in our company. Once we reach a stage where our own self-worth is coming from within, we can say we’re truly happy with who we are.
Appreciating who we are and what we have is the only bullet-proof way to be content in life. When we’re happy with the life we’re leading, we can expect to find someone to share it with and hope to have a successful relationship.
People who are grounded yet aware of their good qualities are those who have successful friendships, relationships and marriages.
Anyone can be one of those people by constantly working on their self-esteem that is not contingent upon the external factors. If you have a partner, they will appreciate the stability and the voice of reason you bring to the table. If you’re still single, you can count on other singletons to be attracted to your self-confidence regardless of anything else you might be offering.
A high level of self-esteem guarantees our ability to deal with the stress of everyday life, and there is no better guarantee we’ll be happy than when we’re happy with who we are.