Casual sex is all about fun and pleasure, but no matter how great and easy it seems, it happens that sometimes lots of things go wrong.
Although it’s logical that you can ask your partner to satisfy all your needs, if the lack of respect appears, it can result in inconvenience instead of fun. The old adage that things can’t get complicated if you don’t involve feelings is partly true, but sometimes, respectful behavior has a crucial role in a successful casual sex relationship.
We already know that casual sex is beneficial and that such relationships have a positive impact on our health, self-esteem, and mood. But, we also know that we can get such benefits only if we maintain a healthy relationship, even if it’s without any obligations.
At first, we have to understand what casual sex means to keep it casual.
casual adjective (NOT SERIOUS)
not serious or careful in attitude; only partly interested;
Well, since casual means ‘’only partly interested’’, it’s clear that your expectations shouldn’t cross that limit. If you want it casual, be casual and expect nothing. One thing is for sure, you can’t always get what you want.
As a foundation of a successful no-strings-attached relationship, you should set some ground rules and be aware that you won’t always leave your partner’s apartment with a smile on your face.
Since casual sex doesn’t seem that exciting without absolute mutual satisfaction, we have prepared some tips to help you get the most pleasure you can.
If you are searching for a hookup online, get prepared for the worst
Since we are living in a modern environment, online dating apps have become an important part of our lives. While scrolling through the sea of beautiful people online, you’ll probably find lots of matches.
As people are using social media and dating apps to display the best version of themselves, the chances that you will be disappointed when you meet them live are huge. Besides physical appearance, you’ll probably realize that you have nothing in common.
Besides, you’ll meet lots of people interested in long-term relationships, as if they weren’t aware that the primary goal of hookup apps like Lucky isn’t connecting soulmates, but to attract people with similar interests based on their physical appearance.
We don’t fall in love based on physical appearance but based on character traits. If we like someone at first glance, it’s probably a pure sexual connection.
So, we’re sure that you’ll bump into various people with various requirements. Sometimes everything will run smoothly, sometimes it will not. The point is to be patient because sooner or later the casual sex prince will appear.
Sometimes, life is a fairy tale and there are happy endings. By happy endings, we consider lots of wild sex, orgasms, and casual sex without any obligations and issues related to feelings.
Estimate the right time to ask for weird stuff
If you don’t want to scare your partner, you should wait a little bit before you start asking for weird stuff in bed. For example, if you just met your one-night stand, you definitely shouldn’t talk about your fetish for a while.
When it’s about that kind of pleasure, we can say that long-term relationships are more convenient. In case your casual sex relationship lasts for a while, you can ask your partner to satisfy all your needs, but you shouldn’t get disappointed if your partner refuses to do something.
Since there is no commitment, you have the right to search for another partner who will make your dreams come true. Unlike long-term relationships, casual sex gives us the freedom to search for satisfaction.
On the other hand, if you want to get more than sex, be ready to satisfy your hookup’s needs before you ask for your own satisfaction. Although there are not many bits of advice on ‘’healthy casual sex relationships’’, be sure that only a relationship based on mutual satisfaction can last and make you happy.
Mutual satisfaction doesn’t mean mutual feelings
Feelings-based issues are the biggest problem of casual sex relationships. Having sex with someone without emotions is almost impossible, and that’s why someone always gets hurt after a casual sex relationship ends.
If you have ever been in a situation to have feelings for your hookup, you know that someone (probably you) will be unhappy sooner or later. Physical attraction is a very different thing than deeper feelings, and that’s why sexual pleasure should be the priority. As signals of sexual attraction and emotions can be misunderstood easily, you should always keep in mind that you mustn’t cross that line.
When we’re at it, common feelings are the things you can’t always get from your hookups. If you are an emotional type of person and if you fall in love easily, you should avoid casual sex and save your time and your nerves.
If you notice that your expectations go beyond the pure need for sex, it’s time to move on and change your partner or to quit casual sex until you are ready.
Exaggeration always results in someone feeling cheap
When two people decide to get involved in a no-strings-attached relationship, they do it consciously with the same goal – pleasure. As each person needs more or less sex, it’s possible that your passion for sex won’t be the same. And that’s why another thing you probably can’t get always is the amount of sex you were expecting.
You’ll probably call your hookup in the middle of the night just to have sex, but if it becomes more frequent, your casual sex partner might feel cheap. Since there is no reason to spend some quality time together, your dates will last as long as sex.
If your relationship becomes monotone – you text your hookup, then you meet and have sex, and then you call the cab for your hookup and continue with your life, your casual sex partner will start feeling cheap, which will result in even less sex and a ”break up”.
To keep your relationship natural and healthy, respect your partner’s needs and requirements and be kind. If you need more sex, find another hookup. Always have in mind that casual sex relationships are open relationships and that you can sleep with as many people as you want.
You can’t expect monogamy
Well, you definitely won’t get any commitment. In case of a casual relationship, both parties can have sex with other people. What is cheating in a regular relationship, in a casual sex relationship it isn’t. If your expectations go beyond these standards, be sure that your relationship won’t have a future.
The fact that your partner sees other people might hurt your ego, but it has nothing to do with your physical appearance or your skills behind closed doors. Besides, you might be just a sex toy for your hookup, especially if your partner is in a relationship with someone else.
With that in mind, we have to tell you that the key to happiness while in a casual sex relationship is the lack of information related to privacy. The less you know about the private life of your partner, the happier you’ll be. That way, you’ll never expect something that you can’t get.
Although it’s hard to say, you can’t expect multiple orgasms
Yes, yes, yes, casual sex is all about satisfaction, but hold on, things aren’t always easy. Unless you are having a casual sex relationship with your friend with benefits, the chances that you know your hookup are less than the chances that you’ll get married in a year.
So, that’s the point where people struggle to enjoy a casual thing. Some people need more time before they become relaxed enough to absolutely enjoy sex, and that’s why they are frightened of sex with a stranger.
So, if you or your partner belong to that group of people, you may not be relaxed enough to experience multiple orgasms and wild sex. If you think that you aren’t ready to give your body to a stranger, casual sex might be a wrong choice. On the other hand, it’s possible that you only need some time to get used to your hookup before you start enjoying yourself.
The point is that you can’t expect that everything will run smoothly, even if you have been enjoying casual sex for a while. Furthermore, the problem might be with your partner, so you should try it with someone else. If you try to force your partner, things will become even worse.
If you want to be your hookup’s priority, we’ll have to disappoint you
Well, many people actually expect that they’ll become their hookup’s priority sooner or later, but you should put that idea out of your head. If you are your casual sex partner’s first choice for sex in the middle of the night, that doesn’t mean that you are a priority.
Since the casual sex relationship is a way different than the official relationship, it’s normal that you are one another’s last priority, and you should respect that.
If you try to control your relationship in any way, so that you can feel better, your partner will feel fucked up. Besides, even people in long-term relationships have struggled to become one another’s priority.
Demand self-respect, nobody can forbid you that
The only way to get respect from your casual sex partner is to show that you have lots of self-respect. If you treat yourself wrong, you can’t expect that someone will treat you better.
Since sex with strangers usually raises the question of self-respect, you should show that you have reasons to behave like that and that having fun shouldn’t be something wrong. As long as you are positively adjusted, no one will notice your commitment issues or other problems related to casual sex.
Although it’s true that many people are sexually active with strangers due to commitment issues, that isn’t the only reason for getting involved in no-strings-attached hookups.
On the other hand, people with commitment issues are usually searching for other people with commitment issues, which is a win-win combination.
As long as you can stand up for yourself and be happy, your partner will treat you with respect. But, what goes around comes around, so don’t forget to be kind too.
The bottom line
Since there are not many rules, you should create your own and stick to the plan. As long as you are treating each other with respect and as long as you keep feelings out of your relationship, you’ll both enjoy the experience.
Well, if you have any issues related to casual sex, you should avoid it and search for a real relationship. Even though each person is different, and it’s possible that you’ve hooked up with someone with different priorities.
If you can have casual sex without sexual regrets, you should try it with various partners and learn a lot from each relationship. No-strings-attached relationships are a great way for learning about your body and things you like, so you shouldn’t avoid it if you are ready to experiment.
Practicing casual sex, you’ll learn a lot about different stuff. At first, you’ll determine exactly what you like, but you’ll also learn a lot about people, commitment, pleasure, respect, jealousy, and much more.
We live only once, so it would be a shame to die without enjoying yourself! Wish you lots of luck with that!