The MenProvement Podcast: Episode #134
This is episode #134 of The MenProvement Podcast. In this episode, I talk with Robert Kandell, the relationship expert.
Episode #134 is sponsored by VitaMonk. Vitamonk is launching right now as we speak in a pretty major way. They already have around 20 supplements that are available right now, and they are going to add a lot more over the course of next several months.
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Robert Kandell is an accomplished writer, teacher, coach, and lecturer. Since 2002, he has been guiding his audience on methods for improving communication that has helped build thousands of successful relationships. He has participated in more than 2000 live events, lectures, podcasts, and workshops. He is also the co-founder of the OneTaste which has been featured on the Today Show, New York Times, Inc. Magazine, Time and Cosmopolitan.
1) Understand The Difference Between Masculine & Feminine Energies
Men and women are equal, but they are VASTLY different!.
One of those differences manifests in the way genders communicate with each other.
Actually it’s more about the energy one has as their core essence. See majority of men have masculine energy and majority of women are imbued with feminine essence.
Those two polarities are complimentary like yin and yang. The problem arises when they don’t understand their differences and each one is trying to communicate as if they were speaking to the same kind.
In short, masculine energy is about solving problems and finding solutions. It is purpose driven and needs a mission.
Feminine is all about intimacy and connection.
How do we solve the confusion when it arises? You’ll hear all about it in the episode.
2) Responsibility of The Communication Is On The Communicator
Your job is not done the moment you release the message. The message is prone to be misunderstood, we need to make sure that the communication is understood correctly. The words and intention behind the message must be aligned and it is on us to make sure that they are understood the way we want them to be understood.
3) The Job Of The Listener Is To Listen Actively
Formulating your response during the time the other person is talking is not a perfect way to handle the interaction.
If you do that you don’t really hear what the other person said. All you do is reacting to interpretations and thoughts in your head, instead of the reality of the situation.
Listen intently. This will allow you to avoid a lot of conflicts that are simply a result of a misunderstanding of what the other person had to say.
4) Everything Is a Communication
Understand that everything you do, the clothes you wear, your body language is sending a message to other people. Perceptions are formed instantly without us consciously participating in the process.
Take conscious control over all of your communications not only about the words you say.
5) Close The Cycle Of Communication
This one is more about social media texting. When you text with a friend and you leave him hanging and waiting for your reply for days, please keep in mind how annoying it may feel to him/her when you do that.
Today our inboxes are full and a lot of times those are done unintentionally. If you keep the cycle of communication closed you are not leaving yourself open to any potential misinterpretations of why you are being unresponsive.
6) You Are Always Adding Connotation or Story To Communication (Whether You Want or Not)
It’s listeners responsibility to accept that they are always adding connotation or a story to a communication – communication will be distorted by your mind. You will add the story to the reception of the communication – what is the story and what is the reality of the situation? Look at your connotations and the stories you add.
7) Use Communication Bridge
You want to jump on a different topic, or make a remark? Simply grease the wheels before you do.
Say “I want to change topics, is that cool with you?”
In that way you show the other person that you are actually aware how this may affect them.
8) Go Beyond Surface Layer of Communication
Understand that there is more to communication then just words (as seen in point #4). On the level of intentionally creating a communication we can distinguish:
- body language
- vocal inflection
In general terms, men are less aware of those layers and tend to pay more attention to surface leves of communication (just words). If you become more aware of other levels your ability to understand women and encode the somehow enigmatic communications you have with them will skyrocket
9) Use The Power of The Reframe
The reality of the situation is what it is. It’s up to you what you make of it. If you didn’t succeed at something, will you use that occurrence to your victim story, or will you chose to learn from it and rise above?
It’s up to you to create meanings in your life that are helpful and move you forward!
Thanks For Listening:
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What is one thing you are going to implement after listening to this podcast episode? Leave a comment below, or join me in the Facebook group!