Women, especially wives, tend to gain some weight or lose some muscle for a variety of reasons. We’re busy, and we’re exhausted after all the busyness (don’t forget we do most of the cooking and cleaning around the house… admit it). So, often times, exercise becomes fairly low on our every growing list of priorities.
However, all women want to feel like their best self when they stand beside their spouse. And, to be honest, if you married someone with a certain lifestyle, you should be able to expect that same lifestyle from him or her throughout the marriage.
Yes people change, and our bodies change depending on several factors, that is to be expected, but health should never be sacrificed. Not only is it your right to motivate your spouse towards a healthy lifestyle, it’s also your responsibility as her lover and friend. Despite this, health and exercise can still be a very touchy subject in most relationships.
Here are five ways you can implement and inspire healthy changes in your spouse’s life without offending her, or throwing her into a spiraling depression:
5 Ways to Motivate Your Gal to Get in Better Shape
1. Split Up the Chores
Say something like “How about I make dinner for a couple of nights a week so you can do something for you, like go for a swim or a run”. She’ll appreciate the gesture overall and she’ll feel less guilty about taking time for herself.
It can be difficult for women to remember the endorphins and ‘runner’s high’ if they haven’t engaged in intense physical activity in a while. After two weeks of feeling the freedom and dopamine rushing through her veins, working out will become a healthy, addicting routine.
Make sure that the responsibilities are split fairly so the guilt no longer comes back and she doesn’t have to sacrifice her time in order to make sure people are fed and the home is organized.
2. Do the Grocery shopping
Food plays a big part in the psychology of women. It’s comforting when we are confused, stressed out or worried about something (which can be a constant in the life of a woman). It can become a form of therapy for us; we may lose weight dramatically or gain it dramatically in our mid-twenties because our goals and ideas of who we are may be drastically changing.
Any disappointment or upset can be detrimental to our overall confidence when we are at the beginning of our career. The first thing we will turn to is most often food–and not the good kind. Take opportunities to do the shopping once in a while and get some healthy snacks, so that when she does have a bad day at work the unhealthy snacks aren’t available; she’ll thank you in the end.
Additionally, most wives tend to multitask; therefore we end up doing the shopping while talking on the phone or texting our boss. We get distracted with our thoughts and start mindlessly grabbing things like we are in an episode of supermarket sweep. Or we shop while we are hungry (detrimental).
Offering to do the shopping is a great way to prevent her from mindlessly overindulging in Ice-Cream cartons the size of whiskey barrels.
3. Invite Her to the Gym
Men tend to see working out as personal time away from their responsibilities and life. That’s not a bad thing. However, by asking your wife to the gym you’ll give her a confidence that you love being seen with her and you’ll also make her feel like you want to be around her (always a plus).
Offer to teach her some stuff or warm up together. Pheromones tend to waft when you’re working out, so it’s a great way to stay in shape and to feel emotionally and physically connected to each other. Seeing you striving to get healthier will always motivate us to as well.
4. Buy Her Something Skimpy
This may seem counterproductive and this shouldn’t be attempted unless you’re in a secure relationship. Sometimes women don’t see the drastic change that’s occurred to their body until they REALLY see it in their clothing. Buy her a skimpy outfit and if it doesn’t fit just say “Well I just looked at your other lingerie to get the size”.
Chances are she hasn’t bought any skimpy outfits being out of shape, so the size of her former pieces will be a bit snug. It’s a subtle way of shaking her into a healthier reality. And if you’re a real man, you’ll stand right beside her as she’s realizing this while trying to clasp the bustier.
5. Talk to her
Do NOT ask someone else to talk to her for you, UNLESS it’s a very, very trusted friend or one of her very loving and supportive family members. And in the end, it may be best coming from you.
There honestly may be something else going on in her life that’s causing her to put health on the back burner. Think about what’s happened in her life recently then make sure you create a trusting tone and a relaxed dialogue where she can open up about what may be bothering her.
Don’t encourage her to lose weight when you are unhealthy and have no intention of changing yourself for the better. If you expect a svelte wife but don’t expect to be a svelte husband you need to rethink your priorities.
Don’t make her feel that she’s alone in this by saying things like “That’s what happens when you have a baby” or “Your eating habits lead to this”. You’re her husband and she needs to know that you guys are in life together and that you still think she’s beautiful no matter what. If you deny her words of affection it will only make her resentful or she’ll lose the weight for all the WRONG reasons.
Don’t grab her love handles at any time, especially during sex. Just. Don’t. For the love of humanity, don’t.
Ultimately, your wife’s body will change drastically over time, it will never be a nineteen-year old body, and that’s okay. Real men know that women bring babies into the world, they work, they get tired, they stay up late and they indulge every now and then.
Your wife’s happiness is more important than her size. Loving your wife means wanting her to be healthy so that she can feel her best, and if that comes with the added benefit of a more active sex life, so be it.