The dating landscape has changed drastically in the last 30 years.
If you’re over 40 you can probably remember dating before Facebook, Instagram, Tinder – and even before mobile phones were invented.
Now in 2018 there is a bewildering array of ways to meet women:
Tinder – Where a simple swipe can supposedly lead to easy hookups.
Instagram – Enterprising younger guys use Instagram to hookup with girls via “social proof” and displaying a fun packed exciting life.
Facebook – Currently dying out for various reasons, but some older guys still use it for random hookups.
Dating Sites – The market is getting ever more crowded but still popular amongst the older crowd.
Then there is plain old-fashioned approaching women in real life. This can be subdivided into approaching in bars, nightclubs, or in the daytime.
This is the hardest way, and to make it work, you need to approach in the right way to create a powerful impression and get her attracted to you.
So which is better? Let’s examines the pros and cons of each before coming to a conclusion:
Table of Contents
- Social Networking Sites : Instagram / Facebook
- Summary: Using Instagram / Facebook To Meet Women
- Online Dating Sites
- Niche Online Dating Sites
- Summary : Online Dating Sites
- Using Tinder To Meet Girls
- The best way to use Tinder
- Approaching Women In Real Life
Social Networking Sites : Instagram / Facebook
Every guy on Instagram is after girls like this
I’ve lumped both of these together because despite what the acolytes of each site will tell you, the method of attempting to hookup with girls is virtually identical.
Plus Facebook does actually own Instagram.
The method here is to try and impress the girl using the strength of your profile page and history, contact her , and eventually attempt to arrange a meet.
There are 4 main subdivisions of this method:
+ To “long game” girls who don’t want to meet straight away.
+ To exchange contact details with girls who you have met in real life (instead of Whatsapp / phone number).
+ As a method to display value and impress girls on online dating sites.
+ As a straight up dating app where you meet girls from Instagram itself.
Can be used as an enabler to show more of your personality and lifestyle for girls who are more cagey about meeting quickly from a real life encounter.
You can keep girls on a back burner and ping them periodically with new photo updates etc.
When they become available, you’re more likely to be nearer the top of their list by staying in touch and displaying an interesting lifestyle.
This tends to work for guys who are creative and like to document their lives by taking pictures, applying filters etc.
A lot of guys simply won’t have the time or inclination to do this.
It tends to foster a fake, totem pole view of life where your value is judged by the number of likes , comments and shares of your photos. For many guys this is unpalatable.
Services like Instagram are easily faked by buying fake likes , comments and follows.
You’re competing with guys who take this very seriously, and if you enter into that competition you won’t win.
You need to have comments and likes on your photos.
Most of us are not photogenic and look much better in real life. This is because a mans real value is not about the angle of his jaw or the thickness of his hair – it’s the overall package.
Does this really represent your worth as a man?
This includes : presence, confidence, masculinity, strength of character, ability to lead a seduction and many more things. This cannot easily be displayed in an Instagram picture.
It can take away your mystique as a “mysterious stranger” for a girl who you met in a real life encounter.
If she can just look up your Instagram photos her interest is less likely to be piqued – especially if you don’t have a great profile and / or are not photogenic.
And the 2 biggest cons of all:
It only moves the needle slightly for girls who are on the fence, who actually use instagram and take it seriously.
If you use Instagram or Facebook to meet girls, 99% of the time they will look much worse in real life.
Girls are geniuses at making themselves look better on photos, by using filters, angles and straight up photo shopping.
As a general rule of thumb, you can deduct 2-3 points off a girls physical attractiveness. If she’s a 9 on her photos, she’s a 6 in real life.
Secret Internet Fatty Potential!
Summary: Using Instagram / Facebook To Meet Women
Instagram and Facebook tends to attract the “follower” type, who like to be part of a structure and judge others by social currency and influence. Once you partake in that game it’s a slippery slope and never ending battle.
It will appeal to some guys who are prepared to play join in, but for the majority of normal guys who just want to meet a girl, it is entirely unnecessary.
Most importantly, it won’t appeal to most guys who don’t want to compete by taking the coolest or funniest photo – they have other more persuasive qualities to display that are much better showcased in real life.
For guys who want to meet girls straight off Instagram, remember to deduct 2-3 points off her appearance. She will not look as good in real life.
Overall it is not necessary for most guys, takes too much effort for minimal reward.
Online Dating Sites
An oversaturated market
There’s a real smorgasbord of online dating sites in 2018. You have niche sites for Christians, Muslims and even disabled people.
Dating sites specifically for richer guys who want younger girls, sporty guys and “exclusive” sites for ultra rich men with valuable business connections.
You have a pool of girls who are single and available.
You can set up a profile whilst your morning toast is stuck in your beard, wearing last nights underpants and it doesn’t matter. The profile will only ever show your best side.
You control what is visible in your profile and girls will not expect constant and regular updates, likes or comment as they would on Instagram.
The market is horribly oversaturated.
Some estimates are that for every woman on a typical dating site, the are 5-6 guys chasing her.
Women judge men very harshly on their physical appeal (as displayed by their photos). This study claims that women on dating sites think 80% of men are “below average”
There are a lot of average looking women on dating sites. Given that the ratio of male / female is usually at least 3/1, this means that every hot girl will be spammed by literally 100s of guys within a few days of creating a profile.
The chances of actually meeting a hot girl off a normal , vanilla dating site are therefore low. An average guy is going to get discouraged and give up before he has a chance of any real traction.
Niche Online Dating Sites
There are ways of skirting around the over saturation issue by using niche dating sites. Seeking Arrangement is one of these.
This site is ostensibly for young hot girls who want to meet older men with status and money. It’s a little like a soft form of prostitution.
However, for a younger guy (under 50) who is still reasonably good looking and has a decent lifestyle, it can be a good place to meet attractive young girls who are looking to experiment.
It IS possible to hook up with girls from seeking arrangement if you play it right (the link shows an example of how I managed this)
Summary : Online Dating Sites
Not ideal for the average guy. The over saturation is a real issue. It tends to have a knock on effect that the girl has so many options, she can be incredibly choosy.
An average looking guy with average photos will hardly get noticed at all, unless 1 or 2 girls pick you out because you specifically represent their “type”
Overall : long odds.
Using Tinder To Meet Girls
Tinder is still going strong in 2018, but tends to work well for the top 5-10% of guys who are photogenic.
Please note : In real life a girl judges you on much more than how you appear in photos – so for that reason alone Tinder will spell nothing but frustration for the vast majority of guys.
Like online dating sites and Instagram, Tinder is packed with girls who manipulate their photos – so you must subtract 2-3 points off her Tinder pictures to have an accurate idea of her beauty in real life.
Simple and convenient. Most guys just right swipe everything and see what they come up with.
No requirement to constantly upload new pics and get likes / comments (though Tinder can be linked to Instagram). Only link them if you have a kick ass Insta profile!
Girls look much worse in real life.
90% of guys will get nothing but frustration, regardless of how many girls they swipe.
Can be a massive time sink.
The best way to use Tinder
If you manage to get out of your home country and travel to Eastern Europe or South East Asia, you will definitely get better results there.
You can use Tinder to set up meetings before you arrive by using their Gold package….Or just start right swiping like a demon when you land.
Approaching Women In Real Life
This is the best way to meet women, hands down.
However it’s also the hardest – which is one of the reasons why it’s the best!
Some guys have the guts to approach girls in bars or clubs after alcohol and if they notice the girl signalling them – but most won’t.
Very few men actually approach girls in broad daylight (at least in the West).
Merely by approaching a girl in the daytime, you’ll be doing something that 95 % of men cannot or will not do.
However you have to do it correctly. It’s best to start off slowly by using a simple eye contact routine before approaching to get you used to noticing the subtle signals that women regularly display that encourage you to approach her.
Build a simple 2-3 minute dialogue in your mind. A basic introduction, tell her specifically why you approached her, and give her a direct compliment.
Once you’ve approached about 50+ girls, you’ll naturally be able to handle the nerve wracking first 30 seconds – 1 minute.
Approaching women in real life gives you the opportunity to display powerful, attractive masculine qualities that you cannot show on Instagram, dating profiles or Facebook.
Since women judge men on the overall package and not just your photos, you have a much higher chance of meeting a girl who is attractive to you than you would by using Tinder or Instagram.
The competition is drastically reduced since most men don’t have the nerve to approach girls during the daytime (or even in bars)
You get the chance to see what the girl actually looks like in real life vs how she chooses to portray herself on pictures.
Example Of Simple, Direct Approaches In The Daytime
Here’s an example of me approaching girls in the daytime. It doesn’t have to be complicated or flashy. A simple, direct approach will do.
Approaching an English Girl In London
It’s nerve wracking when you start, and it can also be hard work. You have to put the effort in to make it worthwhile.
An average guy has more dating options than ever in 2018 but can waste a lot of time using apps like Tinder and Instagram.
These apps are by and large a false economy. The girls often look worse in real life, and even if not, the competition is so overwhelming that the chances of being noticed and actually hooking up are small.
Furthermore, these apps and websites prevent a man from showing his best qualities and tend to appeal to photogenic guys in the top 5-10% of the looks range.
Although it is harder initially, virtually every man will benefit from learning to approach women in real life, ideally in the daytime and evening / night time.
The knock on impacts of learning a skill which is beyond most men are great for self esteem and confidence…Which feed in to your ability to confidently handle a hot woman when you actually meet her for a date.
Relegate Instagram, Facebook and Tinder to where they belong : as enablers to give you a small advantage for girls who you meet in real life.
For more dating advice and tips visit: