Mastering The Art of Rejection

Mastering The Art of Rejection

Why Failure Breeds Success in Business and Broads

“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” ~Dalai Lama
There are few words with as negative of a connotation as rejection and failure. They are two things that the majority of guys fear more than anything in the world.

Thinking of starting a new business? What if it fails? Maybe you should try to ask that beautiful woman for her number? What if she rejects me?

The Paradigm Shift

We need to flip the perception of rejection on its head and instead view it as a gift that will ultimately guide you down a path of success. Ask any entrepreneur or dating coach. Without failure, there is no achievement. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team. Air. Fugging. Jordan.

Instead of fearing failure and letting it hold you back from true achievement, treat every rejection as an opportunity to fine tune your skills and approach. You can test what works well and what doesn’t. If you’re pitching a company on why they need your services, take note of the specific objections they have to your value proposition. Figure out how you could have anticipated that and adjust your approach for future presentations.

Same goes for girls. Often times when I go out for a night, I’ll playful go out and actually try to get rejected. It’s amazing what happens.

Now, I’m not a total dick about it, but say there’s a hot girl in front of me on my way to order a drink at the bar. I’ll say something like “ummm you’re kind of in my way. That’s my spot at the bar.” You think you’d get an immediate scowl of disgust, but if you present it with the right tone and body language, it often takes her off guard and a conversation is immediately opened up in a positive way.

Freedom From Outcome

It all ties back to not being outcome dependent. The more that you tie yourself to a specific objective, the more disappointed you will be when you waver from that ideal trajectory. This will then impact your confidence negatively and you’ll never get back on track to actually achieve what you set out to.

If you approach a specific woman dead set on “I must sleep with her tonight.” Your head is in the wrong place. Anything that falls short of that will be a disappointment and your expectation is set too high. Instead, go into it looking to talk to an awesome chick and see what happens. If there’s not connection and you don’t snag her digits, who cares? There’s plenty of others out there.

When you roll with that carefree, outcome independent attitude, you’ll be a lot more attractive to chicks as well. He who gives the least amount of “fucks” typically wins. It’s the power of the least committed…a messed up part of human nature where people want what they can’t have.

 In Conclusion

So, next time you’re entering the boardroom for a big pitch or considering approaching a girl try this.  Instead of fearing it and worrying about the pain that will ensue when certain rejections inevitably arise, take it head on.
Embrace the prospect of rejection, knowing that only good can come from it. Those who take the risks will ultimately reap the rewards. First grant yourself the permission to fail. Your future self will thank you.

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After going through a divorce in 2014, Matt Shumate vowed to use this critical juncture as a springboard to rediscover and redefine his own unique awesomeness. Throughout his journey of challenging himself in new ways---mentally, physically, and spiritually---he evolved his personal journal into the Breakup Bro, a program to help guys coming off of a bad breakup or divorce. His mission now is to drop that knowledge around the world, empowering men to become epically awesome in every facet of life. Matt's book, From Broken Up to Bro 2.0: The Definitive Guide to Getting Over Your Ex and Leading a Life of Epic Awesomenessis available on Amazon.


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