There’s a lot of truth to the adage “women are nuts;” I say that as a woman myself. Yes, we can be the more overbearing and pickier of the two sexes because our evolutionary motivations are very different. However, just because someone is different doesn’t make his or her thoughts wrong. And the acceptance of an idea that’s different from yours, well, that’s what makes love and the world go ‘round you guys. Sadly, some men react with anger and disdain towards the female mores that threaten or confuse them. It’s natural, but it can also be belittling and cause unnecessary distance in a relationship.
Here are a few things for which you guys need to stop getting mad at us:
1) Not liking You Back
Maybe you rubbed us the wrong way (literally and figuratively). Maybe we have different ideas about fundamental aspects of our futures. Whatever occurred to make us decide that this isn’t a relationship we want to pursue, you as a human being have no right to berate another human being for not reciprocating your emotions.
Women are most often tagged as the rejected ones because our culture perpetuates the idea that women are needy and like any guy that comes along. I have no idea where that comes from, honestly, because my experience has been that men who feel rejected carry a brand of wrath that I hope to never experience again.
I can’t tell you how many women I’ve known who have been gossiped about, publicly humiliated and verbally abused by a guy who couldn’t believe she didn’t like him back. It’s not okay and it’s not mature. If a woman has the decency to tell you she doesn’t see a relationship in the future accept it and MOVE ON, as a grown-ass man should. Do not punish a woman for being honest.
2) Wanting to know how you feel about the Relationship
Men tend to think a conversation that starts with “Can we talk about us?” means we like you a lot, but honestly it might mean the opposite. When a woman doesn’t want her time wasted she actively seeks an action that can minimize that possibility. If we were madly in love with you we’d stay no matter what; the fact that we ask you questions regarding the relationship is because we need to know the correct move to make because we value our time and our life. So the next time she says “What am I to you?” don’t gripe, groan or stick you hands up her shirt. She’s not an estrogen filled sack of tears, she’s a grown woman who respects you enough to ask your opinion before she packs her attaché and gets the hell on with her life.
I think Louis CK says it best: “If you satisfy a woman well enough, she will leave you alone.” Men want to see cuddling as a sign of a relational apocalypse and they make jokes at their significant other’s expense. First, I’ve never dated a guy who didn’t like cuddling, whether there was sex or no sex. Second, sometimes, yea, we just genuinely love you and like being around you, is that so bad? Third, it’s totally true that if we are sexually satisfied and there is no emotional void that we are currently dealing with, we will roll over and start snoring way before you.
4) Being Unhappy
It’s not true that most women need a man to be happy (notice I said most women). However, men tend to lean towards that notion. If you’ve only dated women who found all of their satisfaction in a relationship, then you’ve dated the wrong type of women. Most ladies, myself and any female I’m friends with included, find much of our satisfaction in what we create and put out into the world (babies, wedding vows and cross-stitch patterns not included). So the next time your wife/girlfriend seems a little down, don’t immediately jump to the conclusion that she’s a moody troglodyte that couldn’t be happy if she crapped rainbows. Instead, try to see what’s going on in her surroundings that is making her feel invalidated and lack confidence. Maybe she lost a big account at work; maybe she’s pushing brooms and not living her passion. Take her hand before you take offense.
5) Liking those trashy television shows and books
Men really like judging women who watch ‘The Real Housewives of Chipmunk County’ (I don’t know the name) or read 50 Shades of Mom Jeans. However, have you really ever stopped to think what the show “Cops” is all about? Or Quentin Tarantino movies?
Yes it’s an experience you will never have and therefore your brain gets interested in it. Same thing for women; studies show that emotionally balanced individuals enjoy those television shows more than imbalanced individuals.
So the next time you hear her cracking up at the Bravo channel, just be thankful she’s not seriously understanding the plight of the main character. As for those trashy novels, well, you should be reaping some rewards from her newfound sexual prowess; if you’re not, well then you may need to check your tail pipe and spice things up for her.