how to deal with relationship issues

Being in a long-term relationship is not easy.

Everyone who tells you that you just need a girlfriend and your life will instantly transform into a festival with rainbows, unicorn, and an unlimited amount of candy (no pun intended) has never been in a relationship.

I hate to say it, but the cliché is true. Relationships are hard work. Oh no, hard work…that sounds scary. In a time where people are obsessed with instant gratification, it seems like a terrible trade. You have to work hard for something that might not end well.

But let me tell you something.

It can be totally worth it. But hey, I guess you’ve heard that before. Your mom, your grandma, and your creepy uncle Charlie have told you that being in a relationship is worth it. Heck, your mom even told you that you should get married before 30.  

Calm down. This article is not about marriage. That’s a whole other topic. For now, we’re talking about being in a committed relationship with a woman who loves you. At least I hope she loves you. And I hope you love her too.

That’s the foundation for a happy relationship. Yes, as cheesy as it sounds, love is the most important foundation for a relationship. “What about sex?” I hear you asking.

Well, if sex is your only motivation, you should neither get in nor stay in a relationship. I know. That sounds brutal. But I have to be honest about something most guys who are in a relationship will only tell their therapist.

Let me tell you something you don’t want to hear.


Let’s Face it: Being Monogamous is Boring

Never and I repeat, never start a relationship because you are sexually attracted to a woman. If sex is your motivation, you can have as many steamy nights with her as you want, but do not make her your girlfriend.

I’m not joking. There are so many guys who start relationships with girls because they are sexually attracted to them and not because they are emotionally compatible. Yes, sex is an important part of a relationship. I don’t deny that. But unless you have a strong emotional connection with a woman, your relationship will fail. And it’s all because of a truth everyone is ashamed to admit.

Being monogamous is boring.

Or let’s say it gets boring. That’s a fact and no matter how many times your friend Jerry tells you that he wants to have sex with his girlfriend every day, it doesn’t change anything. He’s lying because he’s together with his girlfriend for more than six years and because he’s too proud to admit the truth.

Monogamy gets boring. That’s how we human beings are designed and no amount of fresh lingerie or perfume can change that. However, that doesn’t mean that your sex life has to be boring. You can still be motivated in a long-term relationship. In fact, you will be even more motivated to improve your relationship, now that you accept the universal truth about female sexuality.

Stop bullshitting yourself and transform your relationship into an amazing adventure.


Having an Affair with Your Girlfriend Can Help

Do you want to know how to stay motivated in a long-term relationship? Behave as if you are NOT in a long-term relationship. I know. It sounds completely counterintuitive. But it works. It’s a simple psychological tip and I swear to God it works better than buying new lingerie for your girlfriend.

Remember how you treated your girlfriend on your first date. Think back to the time when you just met and when everything was new. You were excited to see her. You hugged her and kissed her whenever you had the chance. You explored her body whenever you were alone. You whispered sweet words in her ear.

Do this in your relationship and you can fight against the inevitable boredom of monogamy.

Believe me, it works. Treat her exactly as you treated her at the beginning of your relationship. Come home from work and think about what you would do if a new girl was lying in your bed. Imagine that she’s your lover, your affair.

The mind is a powerful tool. If you program it the right way, you can turn your relationship into a long-lasting affair that’s more exciting than other people’s real affairs.  


Having Someone Who Shares Your Visions Means a Lot

Of course, being in a relationship is not all about sex.

You can’t spend all day in the bedroom. You have to eat, you have to work, and you have to talk to each other. Unfortunately, most couples don’t talk to each other. Or let’s say they don’t communicate. Talk is cheap, but real communication can lead to real improvement.

If you are in a relationship that is based on open and honest communication, it’s easy to stay motivated. Your relationship is your motivation because you have someone who you can share your vision with. Nobody wants to climb the mountain alone. In fact, a lot of people can’t do it alone and that’s okay.

I don’t want to torture you with more clichés but the saying “behind every great man is a great” woman is not completely redundant. This quote has its purpose. You have a purpose too.

The question is:

Do you want to follow your vision alone or do you want to have someone who accompanies you on your path?


Unconditional Support is Priceless

What if things don’t work out the way you planned? Things happen. Maybe you get sick. Or maybe your business fails. Don’t get me wrong. I wish you all the best and I hope that you achieve every single one of your goals.

But life happens. There will be times when you are thankful to have someone who supports you. We men hate to admit it, but we are no emotional robots. When life kicks you in the nuts, you need someone who is there for you.

I admit that having parents and friends can also support you in this situation, but having a girlfriend is different. Having a girlfriend who is there for you in good times and in bed times is extremely valuable and should be motivation enough to make your relationship work.


The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side

Should you learn how to get a girlfriend or should you stay single? Should you stay in your relationship or should you leave? Only you can make this decision. It’s your choice and just because I or anyone else chooses a certain path doesn’t mean that it’s right for you.

You have to listen to your gut. Sometimes it’s easy to stay motivated in a long-term relationship. Sometimes it’s not. Heck, there are situations when getting out of a relationship is better than staying in one.

It all depends on you and on how you want to live your life. I just want to remind you of one fact that nobody can deny. The grass is always greener on the other side. Think about this before you make any rush decisions. Stay motivated, my friend.


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