So Lexus hooked me up with a free car.
Just for a few weeks.
Still a pretty cool opportunity, but they wanted me to think of something cool to do with the car, create something and let people know what I thought about it.
I kind of blew it on the doing something cool part, but it got me to thinking about the problem that faces a lot of men in our society.
This is the problem of trying to buy confidence, buy happiness or buy women.
Essentially trying to pull in gratification from the outside world rather than from within themselves.
It’s a big problem, and it doesn’t work.
There’s a popular concept of Be Do Have vs. Have Do Be in the self-help community.
It’s the concept that a lot of people feel that they need to Have or Do things a certain way in order to Be the person they want to be.
[quote]Oh I’ll be happy as soon as I get this promotion and I find a stable GF. Then things will change.[/quote]
This is dangerous thinking, because:
a) You may not get that promotion or stable GF
b) You are relying on external influences for happiness
The same applies when it comes to being confident, or getting women.
[qoute]I’ll get girls, but first I need to get a really nice car, a sweet pad and lose some weight[/quote]
It’s backward thinking.
Tyler from RSD always talks about how when he first started to try to get women he focused all his effort on fancy clothes, a nice house and making his arms 15″ thick. He bought a house, just to impress women.
It sounds silly, but a lot of guys are like this.
Long story short, it didn’t work.
Fast forward 10 years later, he now gets the most beautiful women in the world on a consistent basis and doesn’t even have time to think about his car, which is a “clunky old thing.”
If you want to Be someone, you have to figure out how to be that person now.
Instead of waiting on getting into that happy relationship for you to be happy, try being able to be happy now. Ironically, this will be the main thing that allows you to be in that happy relationship.
If you want to be good with women. Learn to be good with women while you live at home and drive a pickup truck.
Then, when your confidence propels you to awesome positions and allows you to naturally buy nice things and a nice whip, getting girls will be even easier.
Girls do dig cars and money.
But not nearly as much as they dig the guys who drive them.
I just got off a podcast with Kezia Noble, a female dating coach for men, who assured me that it truly is the guy that the women are after. She teaches poor, rich, ugly, cute and all sorts of guys. And she told me straight up that none of the status matters. It’s the guys who have the most confidence, self love and game that do the best.
a) If you are relying on a car to make you look cool, that’s not cool. Your cars cool, not you. And no one cares.
b) The guys driving Lamborghini’s who have a hot ass girlfriend, aren’t relying on those Lamborghini’s to make it happen. The car is just an extension of their hard work and personal triumph. They are probably badass, and I bet they don’t even think about their cars in that way.
So I didn’t go around trying to pick up chicks in my fancy new Lexus, because I didn’t really care that I had it. Did I get over a dozen compliments on it, yeah.
Car’s and nice clothes will help your appeal when they are not a desperate extension of yourself. We live in a superficial world and first impressions do matter.
But if you are feeling lame, and you’re thinking a BMW M3 will change your life, you are wrong.
BE who you want to be now. And soon you will HAVE everything you desire and can DO whatever (whoever) you want.
And thanks Lexus for making this post happen.