This is a post by Derrek of ManOfVigor.com, a website dedicated to helping men look and feel good – and be better in the bedroom.
When MenProvement consulted me about writing a guest post about premature ejaculation and sexual health, I got really excited to be able to help thousands of men improve their skills for lasting longer in bed. But before I get to the good stuff, let me explain why I am so into this and what made me write a 224 page book on taboo topics like premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction.
As I’m writing this, I just finished watching the newest episode of Californication – one of my all time favorite shows.
One of the characters in the show, Charlie Runkle, always makes me laugh. As the bold and determined agent of Hank Moody, he always has problems lasting long in the sack – in fact, he often “empties the chamber” within seconds.
Three years ago, I was basically in the same position as Charlie Runkle – but I was a lot younger and still had my hair.
I’ve had countless awkward situations with beautiful girls where we would be building up to a night of carnal delight, yet when push came to shove I would often ejaculate within minutes.
Every time that happened I could see the lack of satisfaction in their eyes. It broke me. Apparently I couldn’t satisfy a girl. I couldn’t make her scream in pleasure while other men could.
I learned two valuable lessons during those days of sexual desperation:
1) Women need a guy that can satisfy them – if he fails to do so, she will find someone else.
2) Lasting longer in bed is a must for any guy who wants an active sex life.
If this wasn’t bad enough I also began to suffer from erectile dysfunction – which in retrospect turned out to be a combination of anxiety and a hormonal problem.
And so my journey began.
At first I turned to a doctor , but he was no good. He didn’t really listened and simply prescribed some Cialis to ‘fix it’. Even though it helped a bit, I still wasn’t satisfied with the results and I felt that it was a stupid way to deal with premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction. It was all focused on treating the symptoms instead of taking a closer look at what’s going on and fixing the root causes.
And so I turned to the internet, but there I could hardly find any useful information. And if I did find some ‘magic secret,’ it would usually cost me $80 or more. No thank you.
I felt I needed to show to myself that I could get to the bottom of this.
I began reading all about sexual function and health in general, I spent thousands of dollars on supplements, ointments and tools to improve my PE and ED and I tried numerous exercises to see what worked and what didn’t. I kept a log to document what I learned – which eventually turned into my book.
In the end, it took me over a year before I really knew what worked and what didn’t. But yea, I’m not exaggerating when I say that nowadays in my very active sex life, I can last all night if I want to, and have a dick that is hard as steel.
As a result, I’m now able to satisfy the sexual fantasies of a lot of pretty girls out there, which makes me feel alive and a bit of a badass. I want you to do the same, so enough about me.
Let’s talk about the three most important things you can do today to last longer in bed tomorrow.
1) Buy A Cockring
I’ve said it a thousand times and I’ll say it again, getting a cockring will be the best investment you can make for your sex life. If used with an intelligent approach they are 100% safe and they will instantly add time to your average session of hardcore pounding.
Not only that, but they will also add girth and length to your manhood because it simply constricts blood, meaning that the chambers within the penis are under pressure causing them to swell slightly.
This sounds more painful than it actually is. Trust me when I say, you can literally go from a sex-loser to a sexual superman in minutes using a good cockring. Like I also talk about in my book, I always advise guys to go for a silicone or rubber one, and stay the hell away from a mental cockring. I personally love the rings called StimuRings. They are cheap, extremely strong, and come in a wide variety of colors and sizes.
Now I always place them over the shaft but you can experiment a bit and also try bigger rings that you place over your shaft and balls. Whatever you do, get your cockring today and thank me later.
2) Learn To Edge
Edging means bring yourself to orgasm repeatedly without actually reaching the point of no return.
What this does is rewire your body so that lasting longer in bed simply becomes natural. By doing this, you become aware of all the sensations you experience when you masturbate in a controlled manner, rather than jerking that thing off in warp speed until you lose control all over the floor.
It took me ages to discover how it really worked, but I discovered that edging is even taught to medical professionals who in turn can explain the techniques to people with pelvic floor dysfunctions. The reason for this is simple; you not only use your hands to get closer to the point of no return but you also do kegels throughout each session to either lower your level of arousal or get closer to the point of no return.
In fact, this is a big problem for most guys. As soon as they are close to ejaculation they (unintentionally) flex all their muscles and do small repeated kegels which actives the ejaculatory response that is wired in all of us.
Since edging can be a bit complex initially, I figured it’s best to give you one solid tip you can use today to last longer – instantly.
Ready? Here we go.
Every time you feel you are close to the point of no return, you exhale and do hard reverse kegels. This will prevent your body from activating the ejaculatory response system.
How do you do reverse kegels?
Simple. It’s the same muscle you use when you go to the restroom and try to push the urine out.
3) Control Your Breathing
In the 2nd tip, I also hinted to the third important thing I want you to take from this and that is, breathing control. When we get close to an orgasm we usually clench all our muscles and begin to breathe very rapidly. This is normal, but the exact opposite of what we want when we want to last longer.
You see, when we do this, our nervous system is in a so called sympathetic state meaning everything is tense and ready to release at any moment. It’s a bit like being thrown into a gladiator arena where you instantly would be ready to fight for your life. It’s a state where our heart is beating rapidly and everything is in a state of stress.
Now here is the kicker,
When we orgasm, we instantly shift from this state to the relaxed parasympathetic state, which is also the state we need to be in when we want to stay hard – after all, when we are fully relaxed, physically and mentally, we will be able to get and stay rock hard as well.
When we learn to stay in this state, we can last all night with insane erections – no exceptions.
So how do we do that? Well, another big tip I can give you is learning diaphragmatic breathing. It’s something I learned to do as kid when I had extreme asthma attacks every day or so. This technique allows you to control your breathing and bring your body and mind to a relaxed state in a matter of seconds.
Diaphragmatic breathing is actually really simple.
It goes like this:
1) Breathe in deeply via your nose for 8 seconds- expanding your diaphragm.
2) Hold your breath for 5 seconds.
3) Slowly exhale via your mouth until all the air is out.
4) Repeat the process for 5 to 10 times.
You simply do this until you feel you are no longer anywhere near the point of no return. Then you simply throw her on the bed again and make her forget about any previous lovers she ever had.
All in all, just applying these three tips will seriously help your ‘game’ instantly. The best type of game is knowing that at any moment in time when talking to a girl you know you could overwhelm every sexual expectation she has of you.
But in the end, this is all about you.
If you want to feel powerful in the bedroom, learning to last longer and stay hard is a must.
Simple as that.
[quote]“You laugh at me because I’m different, I laugh at you because you are all the same.” – Derrek[/quote]
PS: I know this all might sound a bit technical but you should be glad.
Most stuff you’ll read on lasting longer is basically broscience.
I on the other hand, prefer to rely on facts and studies where intelligent people tested out stuff that I wanted to learn. Everything I talk about here and in my book is therefore a hybrid of personal experience and academic studies – the best of both worlds.
If you want to learn more on overcoming premature ejaculation & erectile dysfunction you should check out my book: