Just as a thought experiment, let’s pretend for a second that dating was a video game.
You have a certain amount of lives, the objective is to get a girl excited about the idea of sleeping with you and ultimately take things to the bedroom. You get to chose different conversational threads, different maps (locations), you can finish it fast (one night stand), or you can take it slow and enjoy the process (long-term relationship). Ultimately the game is a paradox, as the more you try to “win the girl over” a.k.a. impress her and qualify yourself or control her, the further you are from reaching the final destination.
How do you navigate the treacherous landscapes of dating?
We are gonna cover 6 quick cheat codes that can help you improve the odds of completing your objective.
Here are my six favorite cheat codes that will make her chase you hard:
The worst thing you can do when you meet someone new isto present yourself as a yes-man. Beautiful women are used to having men fall over themselves to hang out with them. Rather than blend in with these idiots, stand out from the crowd by disagreeing with her.
It shows confidence in who you are, and that you’re not willing to compromise your beliefs for a pretty face. Every time you tell her “no”, she likes you a little more. Women love a man with opinions, so have one, and don’t be afraid to push it.
If, however, you find yourself agreeing with her too much, follow this easy ratio: agree 80%, disagree 20%. That means you disagree with her roughly one in five times.
It’s just enough disagreement for you to intrigue her, combined with just enough agreement for her to think you’re pleasant and not too negative.
The idea is to have your own opinion and don’t be afraid to say it with no compromise, yet if you find yourself too agreeable, then remember the golden ratio (80% agree – 20% disagree).
Hack #2: Touch Her
You can spend a ton of time with someone, but if you’re not touching, you’re not doing much in terms of building attraction. The more you touch, the more they like you.
Start with a handshake when you introduce yourself, so you get that first contact. Then work your way through light touches that are short and in a non-erogenous zone, like the elbow or shoulder.
As the conversation goes on, touch her shoulder, maybe give her a hug when she says something cool or funny, and allow the touch to linger. If the venue is loud, and she’s speaking into your ear, put your hand on her lower back for a few seconds, then pull it away when she stops talking.
If she begins to touch you back, you’re getting a green light to move forward, so don’t be afraid to become a bit more intimate. The more you touch, the stronger your connection with her becomes.
Hack #3: Hang Out With Her 1-on-1
Once you’ve started touching, the next step is talking to her one-on-one. I say this because most women won’t be standing alone at the bar. The woman you’re talking to will probably be with a group of friends. This is a good sign! It means she’s a normal human being and not some creepy weirdo that’s going to turn into a stage-5 clinger.
Your job, once you’re talking and touching, is to slowly move her away from her friends, so the two of you are talking alone.
My favorite method is to face her and her friends, then slowly move off to the side while talking to her. If you do it right, she’ll keep talking to you, and turn her back to her friends. Another, less subtle method, is to invite her to the bar for a drink. Say, “Let’s grab a drink together,” take her by the hand, and go to the bar. If her friends protest, tell them you’re just going to borrow her for a few minutes, and you’ll bring her right back. Once you two have some privacy, it will be much easier for her to let her guard down, and for the two of you to get to know each other better. Additionally, she’ll be more likely to make out with you if her friends aren’t watching.
Hack #4: Have Her Do You a Favor
Most guys want to buy a girl a drink. BAD! NO! WRONG! Buying her a drink is not attractive, it’s a poor man’s way of getting attention. Instead, you need to have her do YOU a favor.
It’s called the Ben Franklin Effect. Check out this explanation, hot off of Wikipedia’s press: “a person who has performed a favor for someone is more likely to do another favor for that person than they would be if they had received a favor from that person. An explanation for this would be that we internalize the reason that we helped them was that we liked them.”
Boom! When she does you a favor, it tricks her mind into convincing her that she likes you more than she did a second ago.
Easy favors can be:
having her hold your drink while you pull out your phone,
asking her what time it is,
get the bartender’s attention so you can order a drink.
Remember, every time she does something for you, it makes her want you more. Once you are aware of this, make sure you don’t use it for unethical reasons. Always build win-win relationships.
Hack #5: Tease Her
If you’re too nice, she’ll take you for granted, same as being a yes-man. The signal you’re sending is “I’m really into you and don’t want to mess this up.”
Teasing her instead shows that you’re interested, but not sold, and will encourage her to sell herself to you.
So how do you tease?
The best method is to make fun of her, in a funny way, just like you would with when you hang with your buddies.
I was once chatting with a woman who smelled AMAZING. Like a mix of shampoo, hint of natural scent, a bit of sweat, and some kind of flowery perfume. I was in heaven.
While we were talking, I paused and took a deep breath through my nose, obviously enjoying the smell. She noticed and looked at me like I was a complete perv. Uh oh. I needed to salvage the situation.
“You’re smelly,” I said. “What?! No, I’m not!” Sniff again. “Yep, you definitely are. You smell like fried chicken. It’s making me hungry,” I said with a cheeky grin, and a touch on her shoulder.
“You’re such an asshole,” she laughed and pushed me a bit.
+10 to the attraction.
Hack #6: Setting Conditions
This one goes hand in hand with teasing. When you invite her for something, like on a date, or to meet your friends, set a condition.
Example: “I’m going to introduce you to my friends, but only if you promise not to creep them out.”
The first part is whatever activity you want to do, and the second part is some outrageous thing you’re indirectly accusing her of (being creepy, being an asshole, etc).
This is a stronger version of the tease, because you’re showing her personal boundaries, and essentially laying down the law. Plus, there’s an implication that she’s the weird one, and being with you is doing her a favor.
It’s a really good hack to get her to come along and do things with you that requires a big commitment on her part.
Keep in mind, it’s all playful and she needs to know it. The very moment you are too serious about it, it kills the vibe.
Bringing It All Together
So, we’ve reached the end of my dating cheat codes. You don’t have to use them all every time you meet someone, but the more cheat codes you employ per encounter, the higher the odds tilt in your favor.