girl-man-talkHow to Talk “Girl” and Still Feel Like a Man

Women are complicated beings who act 80% of the time based solely on emotion. When a woman chooses a man, she thinks about his qualities. Often it’s not a very rational process.  In initial conversations, women listen for signs of masculinity and intelligence.

They are, to some degree, unaware of this factor, because it is innately their DNA. Women want a man who has the possibility of advancement—in life, career goals and in the human race.  Subconsciously she needs your seed as much as she just vibes on your presence right now.

A woman’s emotions are not something to be afraid of however.  If you simply take the time to learn how they work, relationships and dating become easy enough to navigate.  Empathy is your weapon for starters. Men are built to be logical thinkers.

Never, ever, make an attempt at breaking down her emotions into categories like unreasonable or an overreaction. Do not try to help women by rationalizing their feelings. I know you just want the facts; but you need to acknowledge the emotion, show a little sympathy and then move on from it. Zip it and listen for a minute. You may not actually care about the “issue”, but if you care about her, listening is an extension of that concern.

Using Emotions to Your Advantage

But let’s back up a few steps and talk about how you can lay the groundwork for better understanding, from the beginning.  We all start out with the same questions when we meet someone new. The problem with that is that they are almost always 100% logical questions. “What do you do for work”? “Where’d you grow up”? Total snooze fest and typical. Here is where you can seize the opportunity to be memorable and not just average.

1) Ask Questions that Evoke Emotion

This is where you want an emotional reaction. You want her to attach a feeling to the answer and to you for evoking the response. Try this instead: “What was your favorite child hood memory about the house you grew up in”? You are taking her to a happy place and in turn become responsible for a positive emotional reaction. Win-win, you lady killer!

2) Use Emotionally Loaded Responses

You too can interject emotion into these overdone questions and conversations. Take control of the conversation using emotional responses to her logical questions.  “Where did you go to school”? Don’t just blurt out the name of a university. Weave in a scenario of how awesome the experience was and recount a fun story about your time there.

Don’t say things you are not ready to say or don’t really mean

1) Keep it Real 

Be honest from the beginning so you never have to feel like an asshole (might still get called one though).  This is simply self-preservation. Women try very hard to read between the lines and when you tell them something like you’re not looking for a relationship—they often think you just need time to sort through your “man crisis”.

This will often lead to them asking where this relationship is at or is going prematurely to lock you down.  You may have unintentionally activated needy behavior or awakened a sleeping beast. Emotion will override all logic in this situation, so it’s best to nip this in the bud before it gets legs and creates problems that don’t really exist.

2) Be Up Front About the Relationship

Answer the question without her even having to ask. If you are enjoying spending time with her, just say that. Put her at ease so neediness or doubt is a non-issue.  If you don’t see a future, even an immediate one, get the hell out and save both of you the trouble.  A piece of ass can be found anywhere, right?

3) Express Your Desires Early On 

Women  also try to give you love how they like to receive it as opposed to either observing what you like or coming straight out to ask you. You have to clue her in. What they like that is hard-wired into their brains, just as it is yours.

Establish this early on so these points are crystal clear on both sides.  If she is extra lovey when you take out the garbage (act of service) or really responds to compliments or “atta girls” (affirmations) – keep that stuff up. This requires you to be observant of her and how she reacts to things you do for her.

Dominate without douche-baggery

There are a handful of things that are the top qualities in a man that a woman seeks—confidence, leadership, influence and power.

1) Be Confident in Yourself 

Be confident in who you are as a person and not just the other half in this relationship. For example: Don’t apologize when she overreacts or when you don’t really need to. Stand up for yourself dammit. If you can’t be confident in at least your character, what else do you have?

2) Take Charge and Lead 

Your ability to lead and influence is your image. It is how she and the world see you. These are not to just be used in a typical sense, but in every way possible. It is the epitome of masculinity. Leader ship and influence to a woman means things in the short-term as well as down the road.

Can you make a decision, stick to it and change the narrative of something?  Can you take charge in the beginning and just plan the first damn date? Can you be different than her perception of every other asshole and influence how she views that “list” of qualities she thinks she wants in a man? Are you comfortable being yourself?

In Conclusion 

Add all of those up and that is your power. You are a superman in a sea of bad boys and “nice guys”. You are a good man—who is authentic, caring, honest and capable of winning her respect.  Take back your power!

Be unapologetic and authentic and never settle for a woman that doesn’t accept you as imperfect.  There is no such thing as prince charming and you absolutely do not have to live up to some ridiculous movie character standard. Those are fairy tales. Write your own happy ending


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