This guide has been updated for 2021. It is meant to be a definitive guide on giving a sensual massage so you have all the tools you need to give her a night she will remember forever.
And if you stick around until the end we’ll share how to turn this sensual massage into a mutually agreed sexual experience without a single word, as well as our best resources for bringing a woman to orgasm through the art of fingering. Here we go, enjoy.
What do you think when you think of massage?
Slow music, gentle hands, comfort and relaxation? Sounds good and feels good, but…imagine if you are the one doing the massage, touching the silky skin and erotic curves of a woman’s body.
Sexy, isn’t it?
We could go really deep into this and read about 80 massage therapy styles along with a wide variety of pressures, movements and techniques. But we are not going to. You are not a massage professional, and what really matters here is perfecting a gesture that it can be used as a powerful foreplay.
I’m going to show you how to give a sensual massage that will connect you to her body and let you explore it. Even if you only give her a 10 minute rubdown, you will be rewarded with a relaxed and happy woman in your arms (or in your bed).
How to give a sensual massage: The essential ingredients
Before you can learn how to give a sensual massage, you have to learn the ingredients. Learning, and putting them together in the right way, will have a big effect on her pleasure and getting the outcome you want.
1) Setting the mood
Setting the mood is one of the most important steps in a sensual massage. The massage is meant to be sensual! You need her to feel as comfortable as possible.
First, dim the lights and light a few candles. This provides a nice romantic ambiance. Next, prepare your place for a massage. Find a good firm surface for her to lie down (your bed, a beach towel, on the floor or even on a table. (This is assuming you don’t have a professional massage table.) If you are giving her a simple hand or scalp massage, a chair will do just fine.
Music is a vital part of setting the right mood. Please, no AC/DC, Metallica or Marilyn Manson. Ambient sounds or something like “Liquid Mind” will do just fine.
Make sure you know what your goal is; either to make her relaxed & ready for sex or to put her to sleep. If a romantic massage is an appetizer before the main course, then choose something sexy like soul music or if its for relaxation then go for soft and slow blues, or even nature sounds such as running water or the sounds of the rain forest.
3) The oil
Oil is your main ingredient. Its as important as a mechanics wrench.
The list of appropriate oils you can use is long. Hemp, Jojoba, Hazelnut, Apricot Kernel, Argan, Avocado, Safflower, Rosehip Seed, Walnut, Camelia, Coconut, Macadamia Nut, Marula, Almond, Moringa, Grapeseed, Sunflower, Sesame, Mustard, Borage oil or mixed oils are all good choices. Experiment with a few and find what you like.
You can find all these and more at the health food store. Also, spa shops and skin care stores have a big variety of blended massage oils containing two or more oils. These can be very appealing. Or just purchase some online from the link here.
Almond oil is one of the most popular and my personal favorite as a woman. It is slightly oily, but allows your hands to slide smoothly. Plus, it doesn’t get absorbed too easily so you won’t need to keep reapplying it.
**Make sure to buy organic oil in small quantities and store them in a cool area.
Sensual Massage Techniques
Now that you have all the ingredients to a great sensual massage its time to learn the various techniques.
The part of the body you are going to play with and the length of the play depend on your relationship with the woman. If it is a date number ten – give her a present of a full body massage. Nothing says romance like the gift of relaxation.
If it’s a one-night stand and you are feeling a bit shy in the beginning – massage her hand to relax and enjoy the beginning of skin-to-skin contact.
Let the foreplay begin!
Here’s a few sensual massage techniques that will make you seem like a master of the craft. (you can practice them on your body, for example, on your thigh)
Shiatsu is the main massage technique used in Japan and it is pretty easy to learn. If you have ever gotten a nice back massage and felt someone rubbing out your knots with their thumbs then you have had the shiatsu style treatment.
Just lay your hands or fingers on a certain spot while applying some pressure and rotate slowly. Try to find some knots in her upper back and loosen them up, but not too hard to the point that she is in pain.
If you are really experienced, you can use your elbow on places that really could use the pressure. But for now let’s leave that to the pro’s.
Compression is another common technique used in massage. Basically you just press down on one area, increasing blood flow and loosening the muscle. This is a good move to do before partaking in a deeper massage such as shiatsu, just to warm things up and get the blood flowing. This is also great on the buttocks, where you can place one hand on top of the other and rotate slowly.
The stroking technique is essentially long gentle movements with your hands along a portion of her body.
Keep your fingers together, thumbs parallel and palms in full contact with the body part you are massaging. This is extremely pleasing on all areas of the body. It’ll make her toes curl with pleasure.
Friction is an advanced technique, but is perfect for using on her hands and feet.
The friction technique rarely requires the use of oils, which is why you build up so much friction between your hand and her body. It is a focused stroke, which is used in some really small area with a certain amount of stability and pressure.
Honestly, its better leave this move for professionals. But if you do it – be gentle.
The kneading massage is great for getting deep into muscles and is perfect for her buttocks or any other fleshy areas. If you are doing it very gently you can do it anywhere. But don’t do it on her belly, especially if hers is not that flat. She can feel uncomfortable and fat.
Kneading is similar to the way a baker kneads bread. Have you ever made bread in before? Its really very simple. The way you do the kneading massage is by grasping and lifting the tissue (not too high!). First the palms press down on muscle tissue, then you push your fingers together and then then you move upward in a lifting motion.
All of these massage moves go great together. For example: Apply Shiatsu to her shoulders, then use a little bit of oil and stroke the back, knead the buttocks, stroke the thighs and calves and finish off with a gentle friction on the soles of her feet. When you’re done, she will be purring like a cat.
Let’s Start the Sensual Massage
So now you have the perfect setup for giving your sensual massage. You’ve set the perfect mood, you have the best oil, and your techniques are spot on. Your ready to give the perfect sensual massage and have her graciously returning the favor.
Here’s a look a few popular sensual massage moves you can do tonight to get her in the mood.
1) Head Massage (no oil needed)
A head massage can be extremely relaxing. Plus they are perfect for a girl who you have not yet been intimate with, and who may be a little hesitant to letting you touch her sensitive areas.
Have her lie down on her stomach with her head on a pillow. If she is uncomfortable without a massage table she can turn her head to one side and change its position from time to time. Also, if its easier for you, you can give a head massage if she is in any comfortable seated position.
Start by rubbing her temples and forehead. Then, run fingers through her hair and apply gentle downward pressure. Massage the entire scalp in this manner for as long as you wish, and then kiss her ears (sensitive erogenous zone) at the end.
Check below for a perfect tutorial video:
2) Back, Shoulder and Neck Massage
Back, shoulder and neck massage is what you think of right away when you hear the word massage. And for good reason. This is one of the most relaxing massages to receive and can quickly turn into a sensual evening.
For this, the woman has to be face down and her back must be bare. Get a moderate amount of oil, warm it in your hands and apply to her upper body. Start with long strokes on her back, up and down. Then start to do some Shiatsu and kneading to the shoulders, while every once in a while progressing to gently stroke the neck.
The bonus of this sensual rubdown is that eventually you will make your way down to the buttocks, which we will cover in number 3.
3) Buttocks Massage
The buttocks are a highly erotic area meant to be spoiled with your new moves. This is a very sensual massage that is perfect for a romantic foreplay. Just make sure she is game before you start.
Place your palms on her erotic mounds and massage in circular movements. Increase the pressure gradually as you cover every area. Next, place your hands on her right buttock and use the kneading technique. Remember, create a roll of skin using your thumbs and push it up. Repeat on the left side. She may just enjoy this as much as you.
4) Leg Massage
She will be pleased if you stroke her thighs and calves, knead them lightly and caress them using your fingertips. Make sure not to put too much pressure on the knee pits while you use your thumbs to gently massage the area around the kneecap. For a leg massage, it is best to have her lie on her back. (see video 1 below)
5) Foot Massage
The feet are a very special part of the body. They are literally a sensual map of all the body, reflecting different organs and even personality.
Have her lie down on her back. Do not press too much in any small areas because you can make her have diarrhea for a week (trust me, its possible).
Start from the heel and go up. Be gentle, but not too soft – press a little and work with your thumbs.
6) Hand Massage
Hand massage is very similar to the foot massage. Hands, like feet, are the map of the body. Start close to the wrist and go up. Massage every area of her hand with your thumbs and finish off by gently playing with her fingertips. She’ll enjoy this.
7) Chest Massage
A chest or breast massage is a prelude to sex. If you are massaging other parts of her body, chest should be the last. If you start with it you will make her very anxious and ready for love games and then what? Relaxing foot massage? It’s like eating dessert first and after it chewing a steak.
The trick with chest-breast massage is to slowly build up the desire and finish off with the nipples. It is very important to read her body language – look at her face and listen to her. Don’t worry, she will tell you how hard you can be.
Start softly and gently and slowly build more pressure. Remember to caress every area of the breast as they have essential erogenous zones all over them. Be more aggressive if she sounds encouraging, rub the breasts, bring them together, squeeze gently and finish off with the nipples.
I don’t have to tell you what comes next.
8) Putting it All Together – Full body rubdown
So now you are a master at every area of her beautiful body. The key is to be able progress this into a full body, head-to-toe rubdown, including all the body parts. Not only is this highly satisfying for her, but it is the greatest visual for a man.
Below, I found an incredible 4 part sensual massage series that will show you exactly how to give a sensual massage that will leave her breathless. I will break it down from video to video as we go. This massage is perfect, and I promise you will enjoy watching it.
😉 – sorry but the video was removed from Youtube ;(
You will have to use your imagination.
Before we start the breakdown, first begin the massage by applying the oil to your hands and not to her body. You can always add more oil, but it’s hard to get too much off. What I love about the start of this massage is that she first tends to her arms and legs. You can start her on her back or stomach, but don’t forget to take care of her arms and legs. They are often overlooked.
I love how she straddles her partner as she starts the back massage. This is essential. Don’t be afraid to mount your partner, it only amplifies the sexuality. Her back massage is perfect, you don’t have to be an expert, just make sure to cover all areas. Notice how she Kneads and does Shiatsu to the shoulders. Her shoulders will be the most tense, so many find it good to focus a lot of attention on this area.
In this video she used the stroking technique perfectly, up and down the back. When she tends to the lower back she used some friction going outward, stretching those tight lower back muscles. It’s simple, but simple is effective.
She finishes off with a nice buttocks massage and I am sure her partner is extremely relaxed. This is a simple technique that is perfect for anyone to use when partaking in a sensual massage. It takes no training and will leave you with one happy lady.
Now the video (video removed) was very sensual and all, but a lot of you are probably wondering:
How do I progress the sensual massage to sex?
If this is your wife or girlfriend, the massage should most definitely prelude to sex. Just go for it! Slowly start to suck or lick her nipples, or gently begin to finger her, perform oral sex or penetration.
To learn how to finger her like an expert, check out one of our favorite resources: School of Squirt
But maybe she’s not your girlfriend and you haven’t broken the ice of intercourse with her yet.
Say it’s your 5th date, she find your massage book on your bedside table and she sparks some curiosity. After dinner things start to get romantic and you offer her the full treatment.
You retire to the bedroom as she disrobes and you set the mood, light some candles and warm the oil. 30 minute into the massage your heating up, and you want to transition into sex. What do you do?
1) Start first by removing her towel fully. If she lets you without hesitation this is a really good sign, but just continue massaging like its no big deal.
2) If she’s on her stomach, slowly start to massage higher and higher up her thigh until you reach the point right before her lady parts. Hold there and continue to massage her inner thigh, slightly grazing her vagina. She should start to get a little restless. If after a few minutes she hasn’t resisted or told you to watch your hands, you are safe to proceed further and begin to slowly finger her. From here the rest is all you. Or, if you two are on the same page, simply begin enter her with your penis from behind while you are straddling her like in video 3. Receiving both sexual pleasure and massage pleasure at the same time cannot be beat.
3) If she’s on her back, make your way up to her chest and start massaging the area around her breasts. Again, stay here for a minute or two and if you see no resistance start to massage her breasts. After a few more minutes proceed to use your mouth and caress her nipples. Again, from here the rest is all you.
4) Talk to her! If you’re still unsure, just ask her. Its less smooth and sexy, but its better than a slap in the face!
It’s up to you to gauge if your relationship is at that stage or if she is down to go further. Listen to her body, gauge her breathing and most importantly have fun. But just in case, no means no.
2021 update: For more advice on taking this massage to the next level, check out School of Squirt and learn how to finger her like no one she’s been with before. Also read this: 7 Erotic Massage Secrets – The Ultimate Guide.
9 Last Minute Tips on How to Give a Sensual Massage She’ll Never Forget
- Have warm hands, a warm room, a firm surface and a pillow for her head.
- Have a towel – to cover her (during a full body massage when you are working on the legs, cover her back) or to put under her ankles or neck for comfort.
- When she is lying down make sure her body is straight. You can relieve stress and release pressure just by laying the person straight.
- **IMPORTANT – First apply a drop of the oil on her hand – to test for any allergies.
- For a massage, apply the oil to your hands, not directly to her skin.
- Everything everywhere – carefully. No pushing too much, no aggressive pinching. Always give soothing, relaxing massage moves, never heavy or deep.
- Massage muscles, not bones (especially be careful with the spine, massage around it).
- Talk to her, ask her what she likes. Read her body and listen. She will tell you – directly or just sighing or silently moaning with pleasure. Communication and chemistry between you two will make your work a success.
- The last and the most important: don’t be shy! Get your hands on her! Women love it. They love massage, attention, feeling special! Put the focus and feeling into what you are doing. It is extremely attractive and so much more important and powerful than any super professional massage techniques.
P.S. Maybe it seems that this article is only about her pleasure, but believe me – it’s not. Because you are the one to collect her payback after the sensual rubdown is finished.
From the editor:
I love this article by Maria. She is spot on. I am a huge fan of sensual massage and have used its power for years, both in relationships and to take things to the next level. I think in this world of personal development, having being an expert in massage in your artillery is invaluable.
Where ever you go, you will always either have the ability to either help people in pain, or have an excuse to get a beautiful young girl you just met to come over and disrobe. Plus, any women that you enter relations with is going to be hard pressed to walk away from the man with the “magic hands.”
The path to become an “expert” in massage can go many ways, and doesn’t have to be difficult.
To become a self proclaimed “expert” check out the books below
1) The Art of Sensual Massage
2) The Book of Massage – The Complete Guide to Western Massage
If you actually want to make a career out of being a massage therapist check out these great books
1) The Magic Touch: How to Make 100,000 Per Year as a Massage Therapist
2) Massage Therapy Career Guide for Hands-On Success
Then get certified. You can do it in as little as 8 months. But whatever you choose, enjoy it. It really is a great skill to have.
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