The following is a post by the lovely Jane Vineyard from the “From Her” series..
Picking up women doesn’t have to be hard.
Do you ever find yourself leaving the bar alone at night? Do you find that it’s hard to get a women to come home with you? Maybe you’re trying for the wrong women, because gentlemen, it’s not hard.
You’ll find that with a few key points and some quick insight, picking up women can be rather simple, after all. Women are not much different from men when it comes to the infamous “One Night Stand.”
While men are looked at as “Sex Gods” or “Sex Symbols,” something of the like; females are just labeled whores. Don’t let this fool you though, it may be frowned upon for a women to participate but, we all know there are many women who do take part in this taboo. The key here though, is to be able to pick out the right women with the same mindset as you.
Hitting on a female who is also looking for a one night stand can be helpful in many ways.
For one, you have a higher chance of bringing her home and not spending as much time trying to get her there. She’ll also be less likely to become clingy, taking the sex as a signal you want a fully committed relationship and to start planning the wedding.
With this point made, I’m sure, as a guy, you can imagine all the other sticky situations that could be avoided if you found someone with the same wants and desires in a partner, as you.
So, now that you see how finding your female counterpart can help you avoid present loss of time and future frustration, you need to know how to spot these women. Though this can be a somewhat tricky task, there are a few things to look for appearance-wise and also behaviorally, that can help you find her and narrow the search a little quicker.
How to find A One Night Stand
Look for women fitting this description, as well as exhibiting these behaviors.
1) Girls who dress extra flashy or extra slutty are going to be a good bet.
You know what I mean; dresses or skirts slit way up high, excessive cleavage, super high heels, sequins or sparkles, including sparkly makeup, etc. I think you get the idea. You should know what a gives-it-up-easy girl looks and dresses like. You did go to High School, right?
2) Watch for moderately sized groups of females.
You have a higher possibility of having at least one female who is there and looking to get laid. Look for the louder, out-going one. She’ll be dressed a little flashier than her friends and she’ll give in easy.
Try getting the girl alone, or if you’re extra ballsy you can try to talk her up right in front of her girls. In doing this, you run the risk of the girlfriends telling her not to leave, that it’s girl’s night and all that crap. The less distractions, the better.
Try to catch her going to the bathroom, ordering a drink, or dancing. Anytime you’re able to freely manipulate the situation without others input, which can sometimes be detrimental to the pickup, is ideal. Don’t get “cock blocked” by her girls.
3) Take a moment and sit at the bar and watch the women who are bouncing around talking and flirting with all the men.
These are the females to go after. They’re ready to give it up and they won’t be much work, just grab them when they’re in between guys.
4) If a women approaches you, it is a very good sign she’s interested in you.
If you play your cards right, this could be a tremendously easy catch.
5) If a you notice a girl making eye contact with you, but she looks away when you look at her, chances are she wants to approach you but doesn’t know how.
Either make yourself available for her to approach you and keep trying to make eye contact, or you can also cut the bullshit and just approach her. This will also make her feel special right from the start.
Tip: Don’t look for women who are trolling the bar alone. This also goes for you, men. Don’t troll alone; bring at least one other guy with you when you go out. It’s the “Rule of Two.” People who go to the bar alone are not the ones anyone wants to attract. Take a look at the people who are sitting alone at the bar; do they look like someone you want to bring home? And remember that positive, really does, breed positive, which means negative breeds negative. Put out the positive vibes and as lame as it sounds, you really will get positive results!
[quote]“I watched this guy while he sat on a bench on the boardwalk, night after night, calling out, “Hey, I’m John, ya wanna fuck?” to every decent chick that walked by and I shit you not, EVERY night that week, he went home and he got laid. It was amazing.” – 62 year old Male, Washington DC.[/quote]
Let It Flow, it’s the only way it’ll work.
Now that you’ve picked her out of the crowd, its time to turn on the charm.
I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but you must be yourself and no, there’s no way around it. But you’ve got to be your best behaved self and things will flow much easier; you won’t have to worry about stuttering to spit out the next lie in order to impress the slutty Kerri Lynn.
And here’s another little tip I know you don’t want to hear either, but deal with it; let her talk about herself. If you want in, it’s a must but, you can use it to YOUR advantage because if you play it right, you can make it look like you’re letting her talk about her, while you’re really getting answers to the questions you want to know. Let her start by telling you a little about her and during this, you only have to act slightly interested because even then, you’re still ahead of every other guy in the bar who wouldn’t listen to her to begin with because they couldn’t stop dropping stupid one liners . Which by the way, are incredibly lame and no girl will fall for them. And if you do happen to find one, I am willing to bet there’s something wrong with her and you don’t want to bring her home. Period.
Also, look for clear cut signs she’s in a relationship, or worse, married. Look for a ring on the ring finger and a tan line, if no ring is present. If you can’t tell by doing this, then ask her point blank or in a subtle way, whichever you find more comfortable. You want to avoid females in a relationship like the plague! Its just drama you don’t need!
Once this is settled, kick up the flirting. Start to get sexual and see her response. If she’s going for it, go a little harder. Its all about finessing the situation; shape the conversation into what you want it to be. While you’re having her talk about herself, have her answering questions you’re asking her. You can find out about relationships, if they have kids, if they’re into casual sex and what kind of sex they like. It’ll seem like you’re interested in her, all the while you’re really finding out if you truly want to take her home.
Confidence is also something a man should possess when trying to land a chick. Okay, I said confidence, NOT cockiness. There is a massive difference and that is getting laid or getting smacked. Portraying that confidence could mean walking with your head held high, your chest puffed out, your shoulders back and making eye contact when you speak to people. While some people feel uncomfortable doing this, it is absolutely necessary in making connections with people. She will pull away when she feels the need to, but try to hold her gaze as long as possible. You’ll know you’re getting somewhere when she looks down and away suddenly, her cheeks flush or she gives you a playful push. Be touchy feely and flirty. If she’s really into you she’ll probably already be flirting and touching you back by now or she’ll start to now.
Tip: Try using some of the general erogenous zones noted on below.
1) Touching the small of the back, right above the butt, her neck, legs and back of her head, can be done without being creepy if done right. If you’re feeling as though you’re getting somewhere with her, try to touch these areas.
2) Find out if she is receptive to being touched by a stranger by gently rubbing her hand, or if possible, brushing her leg with your hand or leg when you make a joke or while talking.
3) If you’re walking together, put your hand on the small of her back. Whisper in her ear and as you pull away try to breath gently and sensually on her neck. The heat from your breath, I guarentee just made its way to all the right places.
4) If you know how to dance, get her out on the dance floor. This is the quickest way to attempt to turn her on and see your chemistry. You’ll be able to touch her ass and brush other non-mention able areas without looking like a creep because its expected in some sorts of dance. You can kiss the back of her neck and if she’s receptive to this, start dancing toward the door and out to the car.
Doing these little things will one, let you know if she’s into you and two, will have already begun to turn her on, if she is interested in you.
Extra Curricular: More Erogenous Zone For Women
Touch your women in these sensitive, sensual areas and you’ll be sure to please.
1) Ears are far more sensitive than people give them credit for. They’re sensitive to temperature changes and touch.
2) The neck is the very same. Temperature changes originating from the neck region send tingling sensations and heat waves throughout the body, releasing endorphin’s, making her feel good and you in return.
3) Putting your hand on the small or her back, right above her butt is also a turn on for some women.
4) The inside of her thighs and her legs are also sensitive to touch and can put a women in the mood.
Less known, but all the while useful:
5) Her clavicle, or collar bone is also a sensitive spot, although it is not well known. Sensitive kisses and gentle touching on her collar bone are key here.
6) It’s all in the wrist. No, really, it is. the thin layer of skin on the inside of her wrist is a sensitive spot, ignited by soft kisses and light grazing.
7) The inside of her elbow can also be just as sensitive to these same gestures, on some women.
If this is all working so far and the two of you are still talking and flirting, you’re on your way. You just need to decide the right time to make the ultimate move and ask her to accompany you home. Only you will be able to tell the vibe and if she’s really into you. Has she continued to let you buy her drinks? Is she still laughing at your hopefully not lame jokes? Is she returning physical contact? Does she blush when you touch or compliment her? If you’re answering yes to these questions, then odds are you can make the move and take her home. Good luck!
Disclaimer! Warning! Cuidado!
The types of women you’re going to bring home with these tips won’t be the girl you bring home to mommy.
They’re the girl you call when you want a quick booty call, not a romantic evening on the town. Though, I’m rather positive ANY women would be down for a nice night out, even if you’re just fuck buddies. And you’ll also be surprised by just how much nicer she may be to you once you get home.
Not all advice will work for every type of personality. Super shy guys may still have a hard time picking up girls because of confidence, but once that confidence is found from within, they too can bring sexy ladies into their beds! REMEMBER, Ludacris said it best, “you can’t turn a Ho into a house wife.” – J
– Good Luck and Happy Dating, Jane
Last Minute Tips:
1) A girl who doesn’t ask her sex partner to use a condom is a girl you definitely want to use a condom with if your despite, but really, you’re better off STAYING AWAY!
2) Always have condoms on hand and at the ready. Keep them in the night stand, the end table, glove compartment, anywhere you think will be the most likely intercourse spot. Some people think it’s tacky for a guy to keep a condom in his wallet, but I think it’s smart to be prepared because you can get lucky anywhere and you must be prepared!
3) Gentlemen, please make sure you follow the directions for SAFE KEEPING on the condoms to ensure best results. Check the dates too!
4) If you’re having sex with multiple partners, get tested and be safe. In the long run, the extra precautions now, can save you a headache or a lifetime of regret.
5) Do yourself a favor and stay protected! Actually use the condoms you buy!
Good Luck and Good Dating =)
Now check out “The Gentleman’s Guide To A One Night Stand” so your well equipt when you find one. Then subscribe to our mailing list for more articles from Jane & our “From Her” series .