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how to ask a girl out at the gym

Talking to hot girls at the gym has always been a sticking point of mine. There are so many amazing looking girls at my gym, but I never know if its creepy or looked down on to go over and hit on them.

So I asked Doriean for some tips on how to ask a girl out at the gym and here’s what she had to say:

How to ask a girl out at the gym without being creepy.

A large majority of women have the same New Years resolution. That resolution is to lose weight and implement a healthier lifestyle. Generally this includes joining and regularly attending a gym.

She may look good getting her workout on – sweat gleaming, hair tossled, breathing heavily – but you don’t want to approach her without a solid plan.

Because us women are a touch creeped out by guys hitting on us while we’re focused on exercise, below I have layed out some Do’s and Don’ts for speaking to women while at the gym..

Do Watch.

I’m not saying watch her in the Peeping Tom sense. Just keep an eye on her when you’re both at the gym.

What machine does she use the most? Does she have a routine she uses every time she works out? What show does she watch while cycling? These details will all be important when the time comes to approach her. You’ll need things to talk about..

Don’t Stare

Let me be specific. Standing around drooling over the object of your affection is NOT the right thing to do. Continue your workout, but do your best to glance at her from time to time. And try not to linger on any part of her anatomy for too long.

For example, you don’t want her to catch you staring at her breasts for a prolonged amount of time. If you do happen to catch eyes with her, smile quickly and get back to your workout. No big toothy sex offender grins. A simple, sweet smile will do.

Do Strike Up A Convo

Now that you have an idea of what her focus is at the gym, it should be easy for you to start a conversation with her.

Start with something gym specific like “The new exercise bikes here are great, don’t you think?” or “It’s nice that they added more weights recently.” If you’re both on treadmills watching a program on television, try laughing with her when things are funny and commenting on the story or characters. Anything to get her talking and agreeing with you is good.

Don’t Zero In On Her Body

Yes, you’ve been paying attention to her workout. But the last thing you want to do is let her know you’ve been watching how many squats she’s doing.

Never comment on her body parts specifically. Telling her that her legs are looking better these days might sound like a compliment in your head, but I assure you she won’t take it that way.

Perhaps later in your relationship you can feel free to let her know the definition in her arms is super sexy, but it shouldn’t be part of your first conversations.

Do Take Your Time

Try not to go straight in for the kill when asking a girl out at the gym. Even if you’re in a hurry thinking that you may never be at the gym at the same time again, you most likely have thirty minutes to an hour to get a plan together that doesn’t involve sneaking up on her and telling her she looks pretty.

If you must make a move on day one, catch her at the end of her workout and offer her a towel, then strike up a conversation. Mention you had a good workout and that you’re thinking of hitting the juice bar next door. Ask if she’d like to join you.

Don’t Hit On Everyone.

Sure, you should be open to meeting new people while you’re at the gym. Be nice and take interest in everyone you have the chance to talk to. But there is a difference between being cordial and being ‘that guy’ at the gym that no girl wants to be caught taking a water break with for fear of a cheesy pick up line.

Find a happy balance. Give yourself some options, but don’t run after everything with a sports bra.


While everyone around you is holding true to their resolution to tone up, follow these tips to become the man at the gym that the ladies actually enjoying working out next to. Find yourself more than just a pretty spotter.

Good luck out there. Let me know how it goes!

– Doriean


Bringing it all together:

Some great tips from Doriean. I’ve done a little summary of what she’s said below to create a little action plan next time you see a girl who you cannot go without on the leg press.

1) Be patient. Its best to wait a few gym sessions to approach her. It will seem less creepy after you two have crossed paths, maybe caught eyes a few times in the past week. Even better, maybe you have had a few harmless words with her a few times before you go in for the kill. This will make things a lot easier when you ask her out.

2) It’s okay to check her out, but don’t stare. I think getting caught giving her a look can be beneficial to you. If she catches you giving her a look, just give her a small smile and do everything in your power to not to turn away at warp speed.

I would personally try to catch eyes with her before approaching. If you do it right, a slow smile can be extremely charming.

3) When you finally do approach her, start talking about a gym related subject. Don’t start off with a hey baby come here often style pickup line. You’re at the gym, and you need to make it seem as if you’re not trying to pick her up, just making conversation.

Something like Doriean mentioned is great or try some of the following:

a) Help a girl out if you see her struggling with weights

b) Don’t be afraid to ask her for advice if she looks like she knows what shes doing

Example conversation starter:

You: Hey if you don’t mind me asking what muscle group is that targeting, it looks like a great workout?

Her: Oh its great for your glutes I saw it on p90X.

You: Nice, I’m alway looking for new workouts to keep my muscles guessing. I’m Sean by the way.

Now that you have finally talked to her, you don’t have to ask her out right away, its probably better if you don’t.

You’re at a point where you can say hello whenever you see her and when the moment presents itself you can ask her if she would like to grab dinner sometime.

The point is, be as natural as possible at the gym.

4) Enjoy yourself and be confident. Don’t worry too much if she declines your request for a date. You weren’t a creep and will probably keep a normal friendly relationship with her while you both are attending the same gym. And who knows, she may even warm up to you in time.

Additional Tips:

1) Wear something flattering. Don’t roll up to a pretty girl in nice fitting yoga pants wearing dirty sweats and an oversized T-Shirt. Wear something that accentuates your body type. But don’t overdo it and look like your trying too hard.

2) If you’re giving her advice, don’t act like a gym know it all. Keep it friendly and sincere.

Additional Resources:

How to ask a girl out at the gym (Video)

How to pickup someone at the gym (Video)


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5 COMMENTS

  1. Whats up. Very cool site!! Guy .. Beautiful .. Superb .. I’ll bookmark your blog and take the feeds additionally…I am glad to find a lot of helpful info right here within the post. Thanks for sharing..

  2. Best advice is not turn away warp speed haha. If they catch you looking, don’t make it weird. Try to make it somewhat flattering without being creepy right?

  3. There are a few places that you are going to meet women of all ages, and many singles. One of the locales is the gym. If you have joined a gym, then you will no doubt see a lot of women come and go.
    The first thing that you need to do is simple, look around for women that may be single and looking. This can be done by simply watching for anyone that makes contact with you. Always smile, and look for the same signs you would in a bar.
    If you see someone that you seem that you would love to talk to, don’t interrupt their workout. Instead, wait for a break in the action and then absolutely change things up. Waiting for a break is going to allow you to catch up with them for a moment. You’ll need to have an ice breaker ready, and you’ll need to casually chat them up if they are even interested.
    Make sure that you compliment them. Compliment their workout, and regimen, and then ask them out. You can start a conversation by simply being impressed with their effort. You may even offer a quick muscle toning tip afterwards. It’s a good ice breaker.
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  4. Awesome Post! Really shows the inside of a females emotions and how to work your way through. Lot’s of good “coversation starters” tips for a healthy conversation, in a gym and “general health” context.

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