Women and men view looks differently.
The cliché in the dating world is that men rate looks high on the importance scale, whereas women tend to lean more toward sincerity in the eyes or humanistic qualities that speak to a man’s inner nature. The idealists among us will grip tightly to the notion that looks are hardly shotgun on the proverbial tour bus of criteria we drive around to company picnics, or friends’ weddings (ahem, inappropriate). However, that isn’t to say we aren’t influenced by them.
The following material is a summation of results received from a survey of 25 random women, between the ages of 18-35, about the most crucial artillery men need to come armed with in the dating world:
For the Quasimodos among us…
What is the single most important factor you seek when choosing a mate?
60% referred to personality as being the most important, citing such traits as: good morals, sense of humor, selflessness, and common interests as significantly influencing their choice of a mate.
30% referred to social status, citing ambition and education as evidence of men “doing something with themselves”.
6% cited behavior being principal, claiming respect and good treatment made them feel special.
3% referred to relationship status (ahem: single) as rating very high.
1% cited looks as being the most important.
What are some other qualities you admire most in a man?
99% referred to humor (women like to laugh).
1% was undecided (some of us aren’t sure what we want)
Other factors mentioned:
Modesty, style, intelligence, confidence, ambition, fitness, care..
On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the highest) how important would you rate looks in your choice of a mate?
60% rated looks on a scale of 5-6, acknowledging looks as important but easily overridden by personality or not reigning as a deciding factor.
39% rated looks on a scale of 7-8, citing them an important part of initial attraction, opening the door for further pursuit.
1% rated looks on a scale of 9-10, citing them as being important enough to leave further “getting to know” nearly impossible to consider.
0% cited looks as being less than 5 on their scale of importance in choosing a mate.
If approached by a man of below-average attractiveness, how likely are you, on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the highest) to let him get to know you better?
70% gave him a chance at 5-6, saying that “talking to a less-than-attractive man is not out of the question”, but that “it would not necessarily lead to exchanging phone numbers”. Others said “it depends”, as in ‘on the quality of other traits’ (see question 2).
18% were generous on a scale of 7-8, saying they would “not discriminate based on looks alone”, and would be ‘open to pursuit’ by a less-than attractive male, provided he had other things going for him.
10% were too awkward to answer this question, but added, “we could still be friends.”
2% said “no way Jose”, also citing that the man does “not necessarily need to be named Jose”.
Well, there you have it.
Most women don’t care too much about looks. We care that you are funny. We care that you have ambition. And most of all, we care that you do not expose your man feet in public by wearing flip flops ever again (re: the latter “we” meaning “the author”).
Any man looking to be successful with women should feel free to abide by the following: male beauty is not considered a state to be preened over or gawked at in the eyes of women. Rather, it is interpreted more popularly as a physical manifestation of substance, good manners, and self-respect.
Seriously though, no flip flops.
– Lizette Lafuente
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