Facebook is a unique world and, regardless of what the trendsetters say, it doesn’t seem to be going away anytime soon. No matter how much we like to think that a person’s profile doesn’t play into our decision about their perceived attractiveness– it totally does. Whether you friend a girl you’ve been on one date with or whether you’re dating a girl you’ve been ‘liking’ and ‘poking’ for years, you’re Facebook profile will tell her a lot about how you see yourself. We’re women and depending on our status, age, or goals, we will take every opportunity to find out as much about you as possible before we decide whether you are dateable or not. It’s just a sad fact of the modern day dating scene.
That doesn’t mean you can’t use your Facebook page to your advantage.
Here are a few ways that you are killing your chances and a few ways you can boost them.
5 Ways Your Facebook Page is Turning Her Off:
1) Selfies; especially, mirror selfies.
Guys, you know exactly what I’m talking about—it’s the photo that says, “I look way too damn good right now to let this moment pass me by.”
It’s narcissistic. And there is nothing more unattractive, or psychologically terrifying, than an obvious narcissist. By all means, please take a photo of yourself in that funny hat you found in the attic, but keep your abs and sultry gaze for the bedroom.
2) A lot of your posts are heavily censored
When we see that little gear thing (I don’t know the technical term) indicating that certain people did not see the post you just made, we totally understand. We do the same thing—moms, right? However, don’t do it EVERY DAMN TIME. If your life needs to be so heavily censored and you rely on that option a lot, we may get the feeling that you hide things from us. And we may just write you off.
We get it, life is tough and sometimes a sounding board is needed, BUT keep it to a minimum. It’s fine to say “Geez, rough day at the office”, but don’t go into a tale that reeks of ‘Poor, poor, pitiful me’. Not only is it unattractive, but also, it’s unproductive. We don’t want to be with a guy who complains and doesn’t make drastic steps to correct the bad points in his life. We want to be with someone positive who can turn even his most calamitous moments into gallows humor.
4) Constant status updates/checking in
If you so desperately need other people to know where you are, then we will interpret that as your constant need to be surrounded by others. You don’t need to be a loner with a cig in your lips, but we do like the air of mystery and a manly pining for solitude every now and then. Plus, you’re taking away that wonderful moment when we accidentally run into you.
5) A lot of activity on other females’ pages
If all you have are female friends, it’s going to naturally follow that you have a lot of female activity. We don’t mind that; a secure female will understand and respect that you can have a friendship with females. However, if that activity has a lot of ‘xoxo’, we’ll start to wonder if you’re a player. Not cool. We won’t waste our time. In addition, if every photo you have includes a cheap beer and hootchie in a tube top, you can kiss the upcoming date you’ve made with us goodbye.
5 Ways Your Facebook Page Can Turn Her ON:
1) Share causes/news
A worthwhile woman will like to see you involved in and excited about benefitting others in the community. So, share that status about a charity auction for a local family who has fallen on hard times. Comment on that local news story (don’t be too crass, making a funny remark is enough to show us that you’re interested in what’s going on the world and how you want to benefit it). Steer away from heated Facebook arguments and debates. It’s childish.
2) Entertain the family photo once in a while
Not everyone has a great family; a down to earth gal knows this. However, when we see you tagged in that photo of you at your mom’s for dinner while your sister is making a mean face behind you, it gives us a good feeling. It makes us feel like maybe we do know you a bit more, maybe you are a good guy, AND it shows us you at least spend time with your family and that you value that time.
3) Send out positive vibes/celebrate other’s achievements.
Make it a point to be a positive person on Facebook and delight in others’ success. There is nothing sexier than a guy who is confident enough in himself to celebrate the achievements of another dude. Congratulate your friends on their new baby, promotion or say something positive about an entrepreneur’s local startup.
4) Use a good profile photo
We don’t want you in a suit and tie (unless you wear that a lot and kudos if you can pull that off), but we don’t want to see you in pajamas and a backwards cap with a convenience store in the background. Of course, no one wants to be judged on something as superficial as a photo, BUT YOU have the choice about which photo to choose, so WE WILL judge it. It’s a cheesy idea, sure, but your profile photo represents how you choose to present yourself. Make it true to who you are and look nice.
5) Have a variety of friends
We don’t want to see a cookie-cutter-cluster of frat jocks or beer buddies. We like that you have female friends, we like that you have older/younger friends. It gives us the idea that you are a well-rounded person who is personable and capable of talking to anyone. It makes you more attractive and it makes you seem more confident.
Social media will continue to grow exponentially. Today it’s Facebook, tomorrow it’s Squabblerodeo, or some other social media format that will revolutionize the world. The point is, the need for positive presentation will only grow. Be ready for your close up.