Most of us share our highlight reel online, and leave the raw and real stuff bottled up.
But I’m tired of that.
I’ve been IGNORING my darkness for too long.
We all have some things to deal with.
YOU have some things to deal with.
Becoming a dad this past fall changed my life. But I didn’t embrace the role at first.
I felt like I needed to be this perfect husband, father and provider and show no chinks in my armor.
But I chose to bury myself in work, and escape the responsibilities.
Hell, we didn’t really need the money.
But I started spending longer and longer working hours. I could say it was because I wanted to provide, but it was just as much a way to avoid fatherhood.
I was lying to myself.
And when I was home?
On the phone, on Facebook, distracted thinking about my clients and business.
There’s this old school paternalistic view that says men should be emotionless drones who work to provide, get up early and stay late at the office and grind
But that’s BS.
Many of us are fulfilled by work – I don’t dispute that – but you can provide and still be a great father.
Don’t lose sight of what truly matters.
So, how can you live your greatest life despite today’s societal challenges?
Here are three strategies to follow:
Get off the phone (I’ll keep having to remind myself this) and enjoy those special moments, because they’re gone tomorrow.
Even if you don’t have kids, be present with your loved ones and friends. Don’t even bother being there if your mind’s in another place.
Your responsibility is to lead a life of good examples for your children and loved ones.
SHOW them how to exercise and eat right
SHOW them what it means to be a good citizen and contribute to society
SHOW them how to love and respect a woman (or man)
SHOW them how to take control of their lives and live it on their terms
I’ve been so focused on ‘providing’ financial support, when really the emotional support fell by the wayside.
Are you living your greatest life on your terms or one manufactured for you?
Enter The Cave You Fear
“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek”
A great quote from the late Joseph Campbell.
What’s your biggest fear/challenge right now?
The one challenge you know would change your life for the better – if only you could tackle it head on?
We all have challenges to overcome to become a better version of ourselves. I’ve been very guilty of staying in my comfort zone in a lot of areas.
But the biggest risk you can take? Staying exactly where you are. Be strong and meet your challenges head on.
If not, you can bet not doing so will eat away at your very being. Listen to your intuition. Your emotions lead the way. If you feel like this is your path, take it!
Let’s say you’ve got a bit (or a lot) of weight to lose. You know getting healthy and in shape will change your life. Hell, it might save your life. And, yet, you can’t muster the courage to start, right?
So many people stay where they are until, finally, the pain of staying the same overwhelms the pain of change.
But those who make an impact in the world decide to face their fears square on before they get a wake-up call. They are the ones who get “lucky” in life because they went for it.
Stop Poisoning Yourself
The biggest poison is living with regret.
For years I lived with regret. I let others lead. Others take chances. Others get the girls and get the good jobs and get the satisfaction of “going for it” and not looking back.
But that’s no longer the case, because I’m doing what I love – coaching guys like my former self take back control of their lives through diet and exercise.
There’s a great book – The Alchemist – which talks about finding your Personal Legend. The one thing you know your heart wants you to pursue. And until you follow through on that, something is just missing. You can feel it, even if you’re generally happy with your life.
What’s your personal legend? Let that guide your actions.
How do you find it? What brings you the most life satisfaction – that when you’re involved in it, time flies by and your heart beats with passion?
Fast forward 20-30 years… maybe you’re in a nursing home or retired in one of those fancy trailer parks in a warm climate.
Do you want to start every sentence with ‘I wish I did…’ or instead with ‘Wow, I lived. I did everything I wanted to do.’
Conclusion (Stop Waiting For Perfect…)
Are you waiting for the “perfect time” to get started on new projects? To start that business? To eat better? To exercise more?
This all-or-nothing thinking rarely gets you anything at all. It usually gets you nowhere.
And tomorrow never comes.
It’s no doubt difficult to juggle life demands and make time for your passions.
But most people waste too much time developing the “perfect” plan, when in fact it’s just an excuse to avoid failure. An excuse to not push yourself towards your higher calling. An excuse to stay safe.
But just get started. Perfection is the enemy of action. Go.