Do you dream about a happy marriage with a house in the suburbs?
Do you dream about waking up next to the same woman for the rest of your life?
In case those two questions just gave you the creeps, marriage or even a monogamous relationship is probably not the right thing for you, at least not now.
Please allow me to ask you two more questions to find out what you really want:
Do you dream about having sex with a girl on a regular basis who allows you to sleep with other women?
Do you dream about coming home from a long day of work, dialing the number of a beautiful girl and opening the door when she stands there with nothing but a coat that discreetly hides her red lingerie?
In case you just smiled like a kid in the candy store, you prefer a relationship without any strings attached. If you want to have sex with a beautiful woman without worrying that she already plans to move in with you, you should continue reading.
When to Go For a No Strings Attached Relationship
Now that we have already found out that a big wedding, the white picket fence and an exclusive relationship is not the definition of your dream life, it is time to find out how you can enjoy a relationship that matches your expectations.
But before we are going to do that I want you to think about why you want a no strings attached relationship instead of a monogamous one. Don’t worry. I won’t judge you for what you want. I am also in a relationship that is not particularly monogamous and I enjoy every second of it.
The reason why I want to address this has nothing to do with blaming and judging. What I really want is to help you to understand your needs and desires.
After you had a look at the following three scenarios, you’ll hopefully know if a no strings attached relationship is the right thing for you.
You Just Came Out of a Toxic Relationship
If you just came out of a toxic relationship, you should definitely keep it casual. The last thing you want now is to experience the same misery again. And even if you think about ending up in a serious relationship right after a break up, you are better off not doing it.
I am dead serious about that.
If I would have ended up in an exclusive relationship after I broke up with my ex-girlfriend, I wouldn’t be where I am now. I would still be the shy, insecure and jealous little boy who thinks that he needs a relationship to not feel completely worthless.
A man who comes out of a toxic relationship is a man who should do one thing:
He should think about what went wrong and what he can do better the next time.
The tricky thing is that you can only find that out and take action to solve your issues, if you have room to experiment and if you have the courage to try out new things. A no strings attached relationship allows you to go through this process.
– You have time to figure out what went wrong
– You can experiment with different women and find out what kind of girl you like
– You can try out new things without the pressure and expectations of a serious relationship
Long story short, if you just come out of a toxic relationship you should not make the same mistake again. Take some time out and enjoy the beauty of having sex with a girl who doesn’t threaten to kill you when you gaze after another woman.
You Are Working on Something Big
I recently had an interesting conversation with a guy who also works on his own business. While I think that my relationship is beneficial to my productivity, my work ethic and my overall happiness, he holds the opinion that a relationship is poison for your business success.
I obviously don’t have this opinion, but I can definitely see where he is coming from. I am fortunate enough to have a girlfriend who supports me in everything I do. Other men are not that lucky.
If you are working on a business or a project that is immensely important to you, you should think twice before you end up in a committed relationship…
…at least when your girlfriend does one of the following things:
– She demands a lot of time
– She doesn’t support you
– She doesn’t understand what you are doing and why you are doing it
From this perspective I can understand it that someone would choose to not be in a committed relationship. If you sleep 8 hours a day and work the remaining 16 hours on your business, choosing a no strings attached relationship might be the best solution for you.
You Want to Get It Out of the System
What if you don’t come out of a toxic relationship and what if you don’t work on a business?
Then you are not allowed to have a no strings attached relationship…muahahaha!
I am just kidding. It is totally okay to want such a relationship. It might be exactly what you need, especially when you want to get it out of the system.
When I broke up with my ex-girlfriend, getting it out of my system aka sleeping with a lot of different women was the only thing I could think off. If I would have ended up in a monogamous relationship without ever having multiple sexual partners, I would be very miserable today.
How to Have a No Strings Attached Relationship
Now that you know whether or not a no strings attached relationship is what you need, it is time to have a look at how to end up in one.
If you would be confident that you could walk up to a girl, ask her if she wants to have sex once a week and take her home, 90% of men on this planet would currently be in a such a relationship. The sad truth is that a lot of men dream about having such a relationship while only a few of them actually experience it.
There is a simple reason for that:
Most men don’t believe that any woman would agree to have such a relationship. Most men live in a fairytale land in which women would NEVER have casual sex and would NEVER say “yes” to a non-monogamous relationship.
It is time to leave fairytale land and to say “hi” to reality. In the real world there are thousands of women who secretly fantasize about having a no strings attached relationship with a man who fucks her good.
Let’s have a look at what you have to do in order to find this girl and to make her want you in her bed.
Choose the Right Girl (Hint: She is NOT Your Friend)
The tricky question that everyone who dreams about a no strings attached relationship should ask himself is:
“How do I find the right girl?”
Unfortunately, a lot of guys come up with an answer that eventually leads to a lot of drama and unnecessary stress. If you are one of the guys who would answer this question with “I know this one friend who could be down for that”, you should thank yourself for stumbling upon this article.
In the name of god, please don’t make the incredibly stupid decision to turn a good friend into your casual sex partner.
I don’t say this because I think it is unethical to sleep with a friend. There is nothing wrong about that, but only if both of you can handle it. While I have slept with female friends who I knew for a couple of weeks, I would NEVER sleep with the ones who I know for decades.
There are too many emotions involved and ruining a life-long friendship for a few orgasms is just not worth it. Find a girl who is sexually open-minded, who isn’t more catholic than the pope and who you haven’t played in the sand box with.
Make It Clear From the Beginning
I already addressed the number one issue that men have when it comes to no strings attached relationships:
They think that no woman is down for it.
What’s the result?
Lies, broken promises and a lot of tears.
Do you want a sexual relationship that allows you to sleep with other women? Then have the balls and say it!
As a result of the naïve belief that every woman on this planet dreams about being in a monogamous relationship, a lot of men are anything but honest when it comes to their desires.
Sorry bro, but saying that you want a monogamous relationship and then cheating on her is not what a real man does. A real man is honest and authentic. He isn’t afraid to say what he really wants.
Establish Some Ground Rules
Have you been honest to her? Did she say “yes” when you asked her to have some fun on Friday and Sunday?
Great, then it’s time for some ground rules.
Even though this form of relationship can be described as free and alternative, a few basic rules make it a lot more enjoyable and safe.
Rule #1: Use condoms. You both have other sexual partners. Not using condoms would be very, very stupid.
Rule #2: End this whole thing as soon as one of you gets jealous. If you ignore this rule, it will get messy.
Rule #3: Don’t kiss and tell. She is brave enough to do something that others would judge her for. Don’t force her to regret this decision.
Now that you have established a few rules, it is time to have fun in the sheets.
Don’t Act Like Her Boyfriend
Yes, it’s time to have fun in the sheets, not in the amusement park and definitely not in the romantic restaurant with ocean view. This is something that a lot of guys mess up and that I messed up big time when I was in a no strings attached relationship.
You are not her boyfriend, so don’t act as if you were her boyfriend.
Holding hands is tempting, but it is a no-go when you want to keep it casual. A romantic present can make her smile, but it is a no-go if you don’t want to give her the feeling that she “the special someone” for you.
Sending the wrong signals can easily lead to wrong assumptions and wrong assumptions can easily lead to disappointment. Be careful about the signals you send and the way she looks at you.
Don’t Be Grumpy When it Ends
All good things come to an end.
This is especially true for a no strings attached relationship.
It’s all about enjoying your time with a beautiful girl who allows you to enjoy your time with other beautiful girls. It’s about great sex, intense orgasms and a good time.
I mean, that’s what you wanted in the first place. You wanted something without pressure, without limitations and without longevity.
In case you are grumpy when the whole thing ends, you should better ask yourself if a no strings attached relationship was really what you wanted.
Do you want a no strings attached relationship?
It might be exactly what you need, especially when you just come out of a toxic relationship, when you work on something big or when you just want to get it out of the system.
Contrary to the belief of many men, there are a lot of women who are more than open for this kind of relationship. It should be possible to find a sexually open girl who is down for it, but if I were you I would avoid female friends who you know for decades.
I know how tempting it is to just say that you want a monogamous relationship, but being honest about your intentions is absolutely crucial. After you have established some ground rules it is time to get down to business. As long as you don’t act like her boyfriend and don’t cry once it is over, you have made the right decision.