If you are approaching the engagement time in your life and you haven’t already listened to our interview with Lia on The Menprovement podcast, go here and do it now! It is amazing.
But to help guys out with engagements even further we decided to ask our audience and do a quick Q&A with the team.
Here are some questions we asked the two lovely experts and there answers:
Q1: When should a guy start thinking of getting engaged to his girlfriend? What is normal?
(Note: We are prefacing our response by acknowledging that this was written from a hetero-normative point of view.)
Whoa, hold the phones. Menprovement is covering engagements? Yeah, well, there comes a time in a young mans life when…. nevermind, we will cut the speech. Suffice to say that if you need some advice around engagements, proposals and engagement rings, then Little Bird Engagement Ring Coaches are your best bet for solid support through the craziness.
First of all we will be the first to tell you that there is no perfect formula for an engagement, the same way that there is no perfect formula for love. Some couples live together for years before getting engaged. Some don’t even live together a day before tying the knot. These days we all have a different definition of what an engagement even is. Culture, religion, age, politics, personal maturity levels all differ. So with all that up in the air and open to interpretation, here’s a way to think of it that might make more sense to your individual situation.
Q2: Is she thinking about getting engaged? How can you tell?!!
Okay guys, we are going to let you in on a little secret. Most of the time the thought of marriage has crossed women’s minds some time in the first three months. It’s not true for all women. Some gals aren’t interested in long term partnership… but a lot of women have considered what you would be like as a long term partner.
Be honest. You totally did the same thing.
Having the thought of marriage occur to you is a lot different than actually deciding you want to marry someone, however. The cultural concept that women are all marriage and baby crazy and men are perpetual marriage-averse children is a tired and outdated stereotype. It also ignores and invalidates the life experience of countless people.
In the end, all people are individuals, with hearts and minds of their own, and if the two of you are happy together, you feel like a good team, you have similar life aspirations….
Q3: How do I know if I’m ready to start thinking about engagement?
Obviously you should give yourself some time before considering getting married. You want enough experiences together to get past the initial “good impression” phase so that you have a clear picture of the person you are entering into a lifelong partnership with, right?
According to some people’s beliefs and cultural practices it is considered disrespectful for a man to be with a woman for more than a year without offering her an engagement ring as a form of security – whether that is emotional, financial, social or however it is perceived.
At the other extreme, ask people from other cultures such as Canadians or Scandinavians and they will tell you that plenty of couples stay together for decades without getting married and they are perfectly happy. They have children, buy houses, live their lives and retire together. They are just as committed and their partnership is every bit as strong as married people. The so-called “normal” way to do things clearly depends on your culture and your own belief structure.
Even if you come from different cultures, you still have your individual life experience to use as a path, the long and short of it is that you are ready to consider a proposal is if your current relationship conditions are appropriate for a proposal across the following topics:
- Belief structure
- Personal maturity (we just had to)
If you are about to start the engagement ring shopping process, don’t miss out on a complimentary consultation from the engagement ring coaches at www.littlebirdtoldyou.com.