The day that you discover that your spouse has been cheating on you is like the day that your very first pet died. It’s a painful experience and it can cause you to become distrustful and unsure of yourself and others. Getting cheated on changes people. The impact on self-confidence and the hindered ability to think clearly can cause you to say and do things that you might regret later on.
If you manage to get your bearings and to bring your emotions to heel, you’re going to be able to think more rationally and you’re going to be able to make better decisions. So, before you do anything rash, these are the things you need to consider if your spouse is being unfaithful to you.
Gather The Facts
Nothing is as absolute as facts. Even when it’s tempting to jump to conclusions, things may not always be as they seem. Gather facts and pieces of evidence to support those facts before you confront your spouse. The danger with jumping to conclusions is that you could be misinterpreting a situation and you could be falsely accusing your spouse of cheating. This can damage an otherwise healthy marriage.
If you confront your spouse without any evidence, your spouse would simply deny it. Either way, gather facts just to be on the safe side.
Talk To Your Spouse
Once you’ve gathered the facts, the next step is to talk to your spouse. During this stage, you’re going to need to focus on what your spouse says and how they react to the fact that they’ve been caught. This is crucial because this is going to determine if there’s anything still worth salvaging with your relationship. Never disregard the fact that your spouse could be having an affair because of some unresolved issues in your marriage.
Don’t Ask For Details You Don’t Want
Some things are better left unsaid and unheard. There’s no point in asking whether your spouse slept with the other person or not, especially when you’ve already gathered evidence to prove or disprove that fact. There’s no need to know of each and every intimate detail of the affair. Focus on how you’re going to recover from the affair, with or without your spouse.
Don’t Forgive If You’re Not Ready To
If you’re willing to give your spouse another chance, it’s important to time it right. True forgiveness takes time, in the same manner that wounds take time to heal. Rushing into insincere forgiveness is disrespectful to both you and your spouse and it will lead to more issues down the road because of the disparity between what you feel and what you show. You can’t simply pretend to move on from such a painful blow to your emotions and self-esteem.
This is also true for trust. You can’t claim to trust somebody when you feel distrustful of them. If you’re going to move on, you need to be honest about it.
Get Professional Help
You don’t have to deal with this alone. You can opt for marriage therapy to help heal old wounds. If you plan to file a divorce, you’re going to need good family lawyers to help you. Either way, get help.
Whichever decision you make, it’s important to ensure that you do your best to keep your wits. Don’t take revenge, don’t commit any crimes. Reason should always reign over your emotions.