You encountered one of the most beautiful, ambitious, and fascinating women you’ve ever known. Something about her intrigues you more than other females, and you cannot shake it.
Maybe she’s a friend of a friend, and you met at a party. Maybe you encountered her at random at the gym, the supermarket, or at a park. Maybe you’ve known her for years. And you keep noticing the same issue. She’s a selective dater.
This is a female you definitely want to win over and take out on a date… Here is how you can potentially overcome the obstacle of her selective dating tendencies.
Step 1) Work your way into her group of friends.
Think of all of the times your buddies told you they liked your new girlfriend, and that made you like her even more- just because of the positive feedback.
Use the same concept in your favor by befriending her friends. The more her friends tell her, “He’s a really cool person. I think he might like to take you out sometime,” she may be likely to warm up to the idea and give you a chance.
Step 2) Dress well.
Selective daters are often very driven by appearances. Choosy females usually have a prototype in mind for the men they’d like to date.
Whether it’s dressing like a hipster occasionally, or channeling your inner lumbersexual, dressing the part can work as your advantage. But above all, don’t be someone you’re not. If she isn’t into you when you dress the part, and you feel like you’re being fake-you might want to move forward and stop pursuing this option.
While you can adapt and update your personal style to enhance your options in dating, remember: If she dates you solely due to the fact that one day you were wearing a flannel shirt with a beanie cap, she’s dating your wardrobe. Not you.
Step 3) Flaunt your smarts.
Sometimes selective females aren’t driven by appearances as much as they are by intellect. If you think she wants the geek chic fellow and you are educated in one or more areas- discuss these topics with her casually.
You don’t have to go too deep into political science, engineering, literature while you’re talking to her at a bar. But- just enough so she leaves thinking, “Wow, I had no idea he was so advanced in X area. What he said about Y was fascinating.” Swoon.
Step 4) Tell her you respect her standards.
As you get to know a female and she opens up to you, she may give you reasons to understand why she is so selective. A better way of describing “selective dating” is dating with standards and intention.
Consider her in idealistic realist. She may have dated some losers in the past and learned the hard way to raise her standards for a higher-quality gentleman. She may have come from an educated family and not want to settle for anything less.
Someone may have hurt her, causing her in aim higher in the future. By telling her that you respect the bar she’s set so high, she may think, “He’s actually an amazing guy. He respects my standards and I really like that.” She may develop an interest in you, as making a comment like this shows a nurturing side of your personality.
Step 5) Be an authentic gentleman.
Dressing the part is great and so is highlighting your intelligence. Putting on a façade is not- eventually your desire to play whatever role her type is will wear off. If it’s not you, don’t be that guy.
Authenticity is sexy. When you are not preoccupied with being well-liked by a woman, she is more likely to develop interest in you. If you have a goofy side, roll with it. If you have hilarious stories in your humor arsenal, tell them. If you notice that you and this girl have some unusual things in common, bring them to her attention.
The more you bank on humor, natural, charm and like-minded interests, the more you and this girl will develop a connection. This may potentially lead to her walls falling down- for you. Score. Well done, lad.
Step 5) Gauge her interest level.
So… you’ve done so much to show this girl your interest while maintaining a cool exterior. You’ve shared a softer side with her. You’ve shown her your masculinity.
Now, it’s time to gauge her interest level. What do you have to lose by asking her on a date? It might be the best way to know if your tactics are working. Practice makes perfect.
When you ask her out, consider the moves of other men in the past. Do it differently. Don’t be like those other guys.
Approach 1) Be direct.
Say, “I’ve been thinking about what it would be like to date you. The idea greatly appeals to me because you are so high-quality. Would you like to go wine tasting with me this weekend?”
Approach 2) Go smoldering.
Say, “Each time we communicate, I am exceedingly captivated by you. Nothing would excite me more than to take you on a date this Friday night. What’s your schedule like this weekend?”
Approach 3) Be a goofball.
Say, “So… I’m on a mission this week. The first part of the mission was to obtain your number. I succeeded. Part two is to safely escort you to dinner. But I need your help. Are you available to assist me in the pursuit?”
All of these approaches incorporate creativity and social smarts. Be charming, humorous, and you may be able to peak the interest of a selective female. If it doesn’t work out, don’t sweat it because these opening lines are golden and will improve your success rate with other women, too. Good luck, gents!