Remember all the hype and female hysteria that came with the cinematic release of Dorian Grey’s ’50 Shades Of Grey’?
It was a crazy few months of insanely horny women. First, the book arrived and became an instant best seller, closely followed by the movie version.
The moist clambering for movie tickets was laughed and joked about by men.
Unfortunately, the reality is nothing to take lightly. The ONLY reason a book as awfully written as this has any popularity, is directly down to the amount of men who simply have no idea how to sexually fulfill a woman in the bedroom, or anywhere else for that matter!
Honestly, I was not surprised at the response of women.
I am reminded on a weekly basis from the women I have the pleasure of enjoying, just how shit guys are in bed. How clueless they are. How uneager they are to engage in a present and real way.
All of this is combined with little to zero understanding of the sexual polarity.
Check out this article on How to Make Girls Horny Fast
So, of course this epidemic will be prevalent.
I was not always like I am now in bed (or anywhere else I choose to get sexy). I went through most of my earlier years confused, unaware, lacking presence, and far too insecure to ever deliver any type of nourishing experience to the feminine.
Through the process of self-exploration, balanced with a healthy curiosity for women, a whole new world opened up to me rather quickly. You too can be amazing in bed, it really is not difficult, and actually involves MUCH less ‘hard-work’ on your behalf.
Lets take a look at some of the key points.
#1 Understanding (how to tease a woman in bed rule #1)
The first point and the most important is some initial understanding of how men and women ACTUALLY work sexually.
This will allow you to commit the rest.
Most of the sexual education we have comes from god-awful romantic comedies starring the bumbling ashamed and English Hugh Grant as the lead man.
One of the biggest issues with men and women relating sexually is that of social conditioning. There is so much fear based around the topic of sexuality, but more so around the area of equality.
People are so afraid of offending someone or being socially inappropriate, which causes most of us to tip toe around everything with regards to gender roles, for fear of being politically incorrect and deemed a misogynistic woman hating sexist.
Clearly this problem permeates everything in our society. We need some fucking backbone.
Men and women, are equal, yes. Everyone is of equal value. All of us matter and belong in this world as much as the other. Men and women deserve the same opportunities, respect, and abundance in life.
We are equal, but we are VERY different.
I’m going to say it right now, that men are more suitable for certain roles more than women, and women suited to roles much more so than men.
Of course this is true, as everything about the sexes is pretty opposite. We have been made this way on PURPOSE!
I call on everyone to stop trying to de-sexify humankind.
Everyone needs to stop seeing each other as exactly the same. This is why women are unfulfilled sexually, and men are afraid to step into their purpose and rawness.
Women have been forced to team up and beat men down to be seen as equal by society (which is understandable given women’s rights issues in previous decades), and scared men have put mass burdens of responsibility on women that they simply don’t want, because the men are too disconnected from their own vision to carry any type of meaningful responsibility with strength.
Men and women have their separate roles. Different roles.
To disagree with this is absolutely idiotic, and a result of social brainwashing. If anything I have stated above has caused a reaction in you, I would most definitely question where you get your beliefs.
But, if you really want to stick to that selection of beliefs, then lets just put men and women into the same category in the UFC.
This is not about who is better.
This is about whose power flourishes the most prominently in different life roles. We all have power. But our polarity decides the area it excels in.
If we came to terms with this, and everyone supported each other in their roles lovingly, everything would be far more connected and beautiful.
We have become a world of politically correct fakeness. The sexes are unable to interact and dance together in a way, which nourishes both at their core.
The sexes are unable to interact and dance together in a way, which nourishes both at their core.
Right now, let us have a quick lesson in energetics that I am very grateful for learning about, when I enrolled into University of Chinese Medicine and Medical Qigong.
Once I understood this, my ability to connect with women sexually, emotionally, and spiritually completely shifted to ‘ON’.
Both sexes have different poles in their body.
These consist of positive and negative, just like a battery. The positive pole is where your energy, life-force, purpose, creativity, strength, charisma, sexuality, and all those good things that have a supreme influence on you are your life are generated from.
Your positive pole is where YOU generate YOU from, and it is also how you give your love to the world around you. It is where you move from.
Your negative pole is where you receive from the opposite sex.
For women, their positive pole is their heart (give from), and her negative pole is her vagina (receive into). This is where she receives the mans ‘love’.
Her negative pole will not be ready to receive unless you have first lit up her positive pole, or she is connected to it at the very least.
For us men, our positive pole is our penis, and our negative is our heart. We give our gift from our genitals, and we receive her in our hearts. If this is getting a bit too airy-fairy for you, I’m not very concerned.
For those who are open with what I am talking about, I will continue.
The idea of giving from the heart, socially is far more acceptable, which in turn makes it much easier for women to stay connected right?
In society, women are being forced into roles and lifestyles that ‘harden’ them energetically. This calls on them to step up in a way that is much more in alignment with the masculine energy.
This causes a huge disengagement with their internal feminine energy and she starts to burnout.
Living in her head and avoiding her heart. This causes many health problems. As men, our job is to help her reconnect to her never-ending feminine power.
How do we do this? By coming right from our own positive pole first, in order to trigger her.
The men of this world are so detrimentally disconnected from their penis (positive pole). We are encouraged to not be too sexual for risk of being rude and/or creepy.
We have been watered down, and softened up.
Many women have no choice but to harden up and disconnect. If men do not fill their role, there is a huge imbalance, and someone has to step up. Societal ‘equality’ and disconnected ‘feminism’ applies this unnatural pressure to women.
The funny thing is, women are FAR more powerful and able to get shit done once they are in their feminine energy. It is mountain moving power.
All this comes from a lack of vital understanding.
To put this practically, as an example. If you are kissing a woman and things are heating up, instead of jumping straight down and trying to fit your entire fist into her vagina, start working firstly on her positive pole, which then spills down to her vagina and she opens up.
Focus on her neck/throat, chest and breasts. This will get everything moving with little effort on your part. No fancy acrobatic moves needed. All you need to stimulate this area, and any area for that matter, is presence.
#2 Listening with Your Body
I talk about this so much in pretty much everything I do. Today, I am going to keep it practical and simple.
Presence = being there with her and being aware of your physical sensations.
If you are thinking of a swimsuit model to feel good, or counting sheep so you do not cum too fast, you are not present. You are avoiding her and the moment, which leads to really shit sex!
You are avoiding her and the moment, which leads to really shit sex!
When you touch her, place all your focus and awareness in the part of the body, which you are touching her with. In most cases, this will be your hand, your penis, or abdomen. If I ask you to become aware of your left foot right now? Do it! Simply feel it is there, without moving it. Do this with other random parts of your body?
Ok, cool. Well done, you were internally conscious, aware and present for a few seconds. When you touch a woman with your hand, live in your hand. Be in your hand. Allow this to transmute all the way to the sexual physical act.
When I was learning to palpate the body for my acupuncture practice, it got to a point where my hands became the eyes and the diagnostic tool. People would come who could not speak the same language. It never mattered. The body is always honest, even if the person is not, or cannot. Get used to touching a woman’s body. The more sensitivity you have formed, the less you need to do, and the more powerful the effects.
Also if you feel like you are going to cum and you don’t want to, do not avoid it or run. Start breathing deeply into your body and slowly. Sucking air in (either through nose or mouth), and exhaling forcefully through your mouth.
This will in many cases spread out the orgasmic energy in your body, allowing you to have far more intense and wonderful orgasms, which simultaneously stops you from ejaculating. This means you can have lots of awesome sex and actually enjoy it. Rather than the ‘pump-pump-bang.’
A tip: The more vigorous your movements/friction, the less you are actually doing, and the more you are desensitizing the area. The energetic rough-pounding type sex that you see so often in porn is the worst type. Sure it is fun, and has its time and place to include in your sexual experience, but please do not make this type of behavior your go-to move.
We are extremely fucking sensitive beings if we slow it all down, be present in our bodies, combined with minimal movement. The most intense mind-blowing orgasms I have ever shared with women have come from not even moving. Instead with being present and deep breathing. When you are present in your cock, the woman will light up like a furnace.
The more you feel, the more she feels.
Sex is not a ‘your turn, then my turn’ type of ordeal. Sex is something you create with another person. You are both always involved in the dynamic. Many guys, including myself in the past, would always focus on making her cum a few times first, so then I can just go and orgasm straight away and be done. It was all coming from fear. This is not showing up.
If all you do is mechanically make her have shitty clitoral orgasms all day (which feel good but nothing compared to what she could be feeling), she will never connect to you, but as you are offering so proudly, she WILL use you. You cannot blame her for that!
Just try it out. A new world of constant orgasmic pleasure awaits you!
#4 Take Your Time
For the love of sweet baby Jesus guys…SLOW DOWN!
Contrary to popular belief, sex is not defined as ejaculating. That has another word…yeah, ejaculating.
That has another word…yeah, ejaculating.
Sex defines the act and the journey, or the process of intertwining with each other.
It is not a race to the finish line. Understand women and men get turned on and heated up differently. Men…we sneeze and randomly pop a boner, which means we could start fucking right there. We are similar to a light switch.
Women need time to get warmed up. It’s a gradual incline, similar to that of a volume knob. The heat is turned up gradually over a period of time. Depending on your level of presence and awareness to her sounds and body, you can do this masterfully and have her hanging off the edge of a wet peak for what seems like a decade of undulating.
Or you can bumble your way to anti-climax valley.
Women are beautiful and sexy and amazingly sexy creatures. Their bodies are the most beautiful landscape I have ever experienced. Why would you want to hurry, ever? I like to spend as much time as possible exploring her. Take your time teasing her lovingly, which is born out of feminine understanding.
Most guys, who fancy themselves as a rock star in the sack, will usually have all their go to moves. They have their exact pattern and structure from start to finish, and that is it.
They perform the same structure on every girl.
Understand that every woman is different and likes different things. They respond differently to how you interact with them initially right?
Well that continues right to the bedroom.
Personally, I will explore her, simply for the sake of exploring her. Every part of her skin and body, from the top of her head to her toes.
I will feel her warm skin with my lips, tongue, and hands. I will get to know her nipples, her neck and throat. Her stomach and belly button.
I will lightly kiss her pelvis as it lightly undulates from the aroused energy moving through her. I will be listening to her, and reassuring her when she expresses with sound.
Guys always want to know what women want. Well, she is telling you at every moment, all you must do is listen.
If a woman is quiet or holding back her sounds, encourage her to use her sounds.
A tell-tale sign of this is that the physical body is responding and writhing but her face and mouth remain clutched.
I have been with many women who have even covered their own mouths with their hands as soon as her orgasmic energy started to build.
Encourage her to engage with her sounds and express herself without guilt, shame or embarrassment. This will create the sexiest and most beautiful snowball effect. She will open to YOU, and to her own self.
You want girls to like you?…Be the man that facilitates that.
Women spend their lives encouraged to be quiet, lady like and polite. Give her permission to let her feminine power out in a secure space. It is secure because you are there, and you got this!
(nb* – If you are a man who is unable to cope with a crying woman, maybe start with your fear around your own emotions first)
Refrain from jumping to the whole ‘penis in the vagina’ scenario for as long as you both can manage it. Allow everything to build and build. Many times when we do reach that point, I will only rotate the tip around the outside of her vagina, stimulating her lips and clitoral hood for as long as she can handle it before pulling me in.
#6 Fun Games
Practically speaking, it is always fun to add extra sexual tension and energy to the situation with the help from things such as blindfolds and ties. Be creative and don’t be afraid to do something, or take on a vibe (such as dominance) that usually is not a part of you.
The sexiest thing you can do is completely surprise her by being spontaneous.
The words teasing was used in the heading of this article, because my head of marketing assigned it to me. Like everything I release, it will always remain real.
I do not believe you ever need to tease a woman. Simply having some understanding about how she works, and how she wants to feel is all you need to have her naturally feel the intensity of herself and her own sexuality. Teasing is a technique for the weak. You don’t need that shit.
When you come real and with presence, you will bring so much more to the table.
Have fun brother!