5 Pillars Of an Attractive Man

There’s a lot of theory about what makes an attractive man. In this article I’d like to invite you to go a bit deeper.

Attraction is not something that can be forced, but you can make sure that you have your internal stuff together in order to attract the ones you truly resonate with.

In this article I’m going to share with you the 5 pillars of an attractive man, most of them you might have heard before, but I’d like to explore with you how you can integrate them into your personality, so that you don’t have to worry about the circumstances anymore but able to show up with your best self.

1 – An attractive man is confident

All my life I’ve heard stuff about confidence. While being a professional athlete, I learned about “shadow-work”.

Confidence starts within us. And it’s often the beliefs we have about ourselves that affect the way we show up.

Being confident really is having trust in yourself. And it’s incredibly helpful to become aware of how you actually talk to yourself.

Most of us have thoughts like: “I’m worthless, I don’t deserve, I’m not enough.” The list goes on. We all have those thoughts at times, it’s part of being human, but as you become aware of them, you’re already evolving out of it.

Once you are aware ask yourself the following questions:

  • Is that belief true?
  • Does this belief serve me on my journey?

What helps me to detach is to write. It’s an absolutely helpful tool to become aware of what’s within us. We often avoid to explore what’s going on within. Because it can be painful, I know. But this is a gift you give to yourself. To understand yourself. And to build trust in who you are.

2 – An attractive man is present

Nothing is more attractive than a man who gives his absolute attention to someone.

Some call it flow, I call it love. Being present means you love yourself. You allow yourself to be here in the moment without worrying about how you might come across.

We often worry about things that don’t even matter. We make up stories that are not even true. Again, the first step is awareness. You becoming aware that you’re not present with your mind lets you actually do something about it.

When you catch yourself not being present, slow down. Breathe. Look left, look right.

Appreciate what you have in this moment.

Us not being present is us being afraid of something. We avoid the moment. Appreciation is the counter part of it. Focus on what you can appreciate. It brings you straight back into the moment.

Being stuck in our heads, is very common, if you want to learn more on how you can overcome those patterns, I recommend you to read this article.

attractive man, fears, present, attractive, man, men
An attractive man is able to be present, without having his own fears distracting him from the moment.

3 – An Attractive Man Cares

It’s scientifically proven that people who care more, are more likely to be liked by others.

People who care, are people who are appreciated. And we as human beings feel, if someone comes from a place of lack or of contribution.

We buy from salesmen that care and not from the ones that we feel that they just want our money.

I would like to encourage you to give unconditionally. Don’t expect anything back. Just be your best self. I know this can seem a bit scary, I personally had a huge fear of stepping into that.

I was afraid of not getting anything back. But just this mindset shift from taking to giving unconditionally changed my life completely.

Playing the game of ‘unavailability’ might appear attractive at first. But playing this game is rooted in an insecurity, that will attract the same kinds of people. 

It’s always a decision on how we show up. Being able to give unconditionally, and not needing anything in return makes a man you ultimately attractive.

attractive man, care, attractive, men, attraction
A truly attractive man cares for others.

Btw. Being caring is not being Mr. nice guy. What’s behind a ‘nice guy’ is a fear of not being loved.

4 – An attractive Man treats himself well

Treat your body, it’s for your sake. It’s the respect you give to yourself. For your happiness and wholeness.

Take care of your body. It’s an amazing tool to do amazing things. So check your diet.

The ancient teachings already related mind, body and soul as connected pillars.

Once you treat yourself well and healthy, you will find a lot more energy in your life. And people will feel that in your presence. It’s a vibration. We can rise our vibration for example with good food, exercising, meditation, being good to ourselves & being good to others.

5 – An attractive man is autonomous

People who have fun, people who love what they do, who have a purpose, who have passion and going their own way, are attractive.

Love has an amazing vibration. If we are following the path that we love, we give ourselves the base for a fulfilled life.

A fulfilled man is an attractive man.

A man who is passionate has stories and something to share.

Most men have lost their real purpose or never found it. But giving your life a deeper meaning is not only inspiring but also attractive.

Here are questions to ask yourself:

  • What are the things that excite you in your life?
  • What are the things that truly make you happy?
  • What is your vision about your life?
  • How can you serve the world and inspire others?

Having those questions in your awareness will give your life a bigger meaning. Being autonomous means that you have a fulfilled life and you’re not depending validation to be happy anymore.

Are you having a dream but you’re not quite sure if you can make it real? Here’s an article where I share with you my journey and what I’ve learned on following my dream.

The road of being an attractive man

Being an attractive man is a journey of self growth. Being attractive is an inner state. Ultimately, it comes from the inside out and not from the outside in.

We are human beings, and sometimes we don’t feel at our best. But what we resist persist. Be kind with yourself.

At the end of the day, it comes all back to the major lessons, I’ve had to learn: Don’t force rather enjoy what’s around you, give your best and that’s your presence and love– that’s what’s life all about. Or how Tony Robbins would name it: Life happens for you, not to you.

Question: With which pillar can you resonate most with, and which one causes you the biggest struggles? Please comment below.

If you find this article helpful, please share it with your friends, spread the word and inspire others.

For further information and free material, please visit:

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Be one of 10 guys, who take their lives and the way they show up to the next level.

If you want to get rid of your limiting believes and start living by your full potential, you might want to check www.backtofreedomretreat.com. It’s a retreat for 10 selected men who are willing to take their lives to the next level and experience the adventure of their lifetime.

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