Marriage is boring. It’s boring because it gets monotonous. When you are dating, you usually see or hear from your significant other maybe once a day at the most and there’s still an air of mystery.
However, when you’re married, in the handcuffs of love (not to be confused with ‘love handcuffs’—which are awesome), you get the feeling that you could literally chew your arm off if you have to have that same argument, that same conversation or hear that same story over and over.
It doesn’t mean you don’t love the other person; 99% of the time, your love for them is only increasing, it can just be hard to see and feel it—until you lose it.
This goes both ways. Your wife is tired of listening to your monotonous stories as well and the more you detach and find enjoyment outside of what feels ‘monotonous’, the more she will pull away and feel unloved and just, honestly, not that special anymore.
Men seem to forget that if your wife were a girl you were just dating she’d have dropped you by now. It doesn’t matter how independent, cool, or how much of a “guy’s gal” your wife is, if she feels like she’s being taken for granted or if she feels she’s been replaced emotionally by others, then she will develop a dark emptiness inside of her, which will be difficult or impossible to ever fill again.
So how can you keep that from happening and also ensure that you have a reciprocated loving relationship? Don’t forget to do the little things that make her feel special.
And they are oh so simple, seriously. Here’s the top three Ways to Make Your Wife Feel Like You’re Still Choosing Her
1. Have a Nickname or Pet Name that’s Solely for Her
We’ve all seen the jock guys who refer to every girlfriend they have as “babe”. Saturday night live had a popular, recurring couple who chewed gum and constantly said “beb” to each other.
That’s not what we are talking about here. Yea, it’s fine to call her “honey”, “sweet thing”, or “sexy”. Those are pretty generic. However, having a specific nickname that is only for her will create a mental bond every time she hears it.
When you have that name in mind, use it only for her. If she hears it towards someone else or finds out that’s what you called your ex-girlfriend then that small emotional bond will be shattered and probably won’t be able to be built back up.
And in a world of social media and dilapidated commitments, make sure you build as many bonds as possible; there’s an entire society of assholes waiting to swoop in and tear it down.
2. Send her nudes (seriously)
Marriage doesn’t have to be a vanilla sunrise cascading across a field of flowers. Your sex life should still be adventurous, new and scandalous.
Send her a risqué photo every now and then, at a random moment. It will make her blush, and women are just as aroused by visual aesthetics as men are, honestly. Not only will it make her know you’re thinking about her during the day, but it will also let her know that she is the target of your sexual thoughts.
And if you really want to up the ante in that nude photo, take it with a clean kitchen or folded laundry in the background.
3. Ask her to lunch
This is the simplest gesture a husband can make towards his wife, and it is so rarely done. Work is busy, sure, but asking your wife to meet you for a quick coffee or lunch down the street will show her that she’s what gives you rest and relaxation after a hectic morning.
Even on the day of a really tumultuous argument, ask her to lunch or coffee. No woman can resist a guy that’s taken her hormonal crap all weekend yet still wants to see her face for a few minutes on a Monday.
She’ll melt. And probably apologize for being the captain of the P.M.S Titanic all weekend. That’s not a stereotype; women’s bodies attack themselves once a month for not bearing forth offspring. We can get a little cantankerous.
All three of these things cost nothing, except your time. And therein lies the irony. What sets your wife apart from the, many, other women in the world is that she should be a priority for your time and energy.
Not all of it of course, we know you have a multitude of priorities (as do we) but still she should be higher on the radar than the other average girl in your life, whether it’s a friend or not.
It’s getting harder and harder for men and women in the world to look in the mirror and believe a truth about themselves and whom they are with. Married individuals have to work harder than ever before. And the reality is: there are a dozen men in line waiting for your wife; I’ve never met a guy who didn’t have a crush on a taken woman.
Women know that a man loves them when he reserves much of his time and attention for her, so what does it say when you throw both of those at anything and everything other than her?
It tells her she may have made a mistake–that everything she thought she knew might be wrong. And there’s no angrier, more bitter or heartbroken woman in the world than the one who thinks she might have been wrong about the most important choice in her life. Don’t make her feel like she’s right in thinking she was wrong.
You’ve got yourself a lady who wants to hear one good thing from you, who wants to trust that you chose her for her. And you can make her feel that way with the sending of a text, the saying of a word, or the touch of your hand in a crowded café. So do it.